Honey, smile! Wave big now! I want to capture this moment with my refurbished Canon HV20 HD Camcorder.
Our new house! Just think, we’re going to look back on this day in a
decade and enjoy the whole thing all over again. And in 16:9 format on
our MiniDV cassette tapes! We’ll enjoy how little Joey slid down the
hill out front, the way the robin sat on the old tree stump, the blood
coming down the walls in the den… wait, did I see that?

Did
you see that? All that blood? No? We must have been imagining it. Here,
let me use the 200x digital zoom… yeah, I don’t see anything there. It
can’t have been real. Good thing, too. After all, this is going to be
our home forever, isn’t it, honey? Our life is going to be as stable as
the shots from this Canon HV20 HD Camcorder,
held fast by a Optical Image Stabilizer. It eliminates the shaky video
you see from filming from a moving car or while turning, and it means I
get a clear shot of that refrigerator that’s eating our eighteen year
old daughter.

Oh my God! Honey! Come quick! What just
happened? I swear I saw… wait… we never had an eighteen year old
daughter… did we? Maybe the gas is on or something. Everything all
seems so strange all of a sudden. But still, I’m so glad we bought this
house. Even when it gets dark like that. Must be a fuse. But the Canon HV20 HD Camcorder
lets me film in low light, you see, so this is a great test. Honey?
Hey, why are you screaming? Is it your period? I promise to help out
with the dishes tonight. Just as soon as I get back from the attic. I
just feel, I don’t know, compelled to go up there.

I wish I had a directional microphone. It would plug right in to the Advanced Accessory Shoe Terminal. I’d love to use my IEEE1394
port to post this video to the internet later tonight. I bet people
would love to see a real live portal to Hell. And in my attic, no less!
Honey? Honey, are you still there? I can’t see you, probably because
the lens has a super spectra coating designed to minimize flare and
ghosting. Get it, honey? Oh, right, I’m sorry, the period. But hey,
you’ll feel better soon. And there’s no hurry, right? We’ve got plenty
of time to use the Canon HV20 HD Camcorder. Because we’re going to be in this house forever… no matter who finds our bodies.

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited (60 Day Canon Direct)

Features:

• Captures true 1080 High Definition resolution video in 16:9 format, using MiniDV cassette tapes. Made for HD widescreen television
• 10x Canon optical zoom with 200x digital zoom and 3 pre-set zoom speeds for professional looking zoom shots
• Lens is covered in a super spectra coating that minimizes flare and ghosting
• True HD CMOS Sensor reproduces high resolution images at 1920×1080 and uses an RGB Primary Color Filter with Bayer Pattern that separates light into red, green and blue color components
• DIGIC DVII image processing improves color reproduction especially in skin tones, and dark and light scenes. Also uses a hybrid noise reduction system for clear high definition images
• Can shoot 5 (3.1 Megapixel still) images per second and save to a MiniSD card
• SuperRange OIS (Optical Image Stabilizer) corrects multiple types of camcorder motion, fast vibration you’d experience while recording from a moving car; the medium-speed motion of hand-held recording; and the slower motion of body sway
• Instant AF feature uses an external sensor, in combination with Canon’s autofocus system, to help significantly decrease the time it takes to find focus, even in low light conditions
• Level and grid markers to line up any horizontal lines in your shot and you can be sure your camcorder is level
• Ultra Video Light lets you shoot subjects in color in low light up to 4.9 feet away
• 24p Cinema Mode provides the same frame rate as movie film
• Capable of capturing stunning 3.1 Megapixel photos in 4:3 aspect ratio to a miniSD card (2.07 Megapixels at 16:9)
• HV20 uses the IEEE1394 protocol to transmit video to your Mac or PC, there’s no loss of picture or audio quality in the process
• Has an HDMI port to connect to a TV for the highest quality playback (video and audio)
• Advanced Accessory Shoe Terminal allows you to attach extra accessories such as a video light or a directional microphone
• HV20 makes it easy to store digital photos on an optional miniSD Memory Card
• Analog-Digital Converter lets you convert videos you have stored on analog videotapes to a digital format
• 2.7” Widescreen LCD Screen makes it easy to compose and review your shots

Specifications:

In the box:

• Canon HV20 HD Camcorder
• Power Adapter
• Battery Pack
• Remote Control
• Users Guide
• Component Cable

If you had this Compaq Presario Desktop PC, you wouldn’t be so busy
shouting about feet and killers and being all complainey. You’d be
happy, because you’d have a nice PC with some room to grow. You’d
probably be playing Microbe Kombat and smiling a whole lot more besides.

This
Compaq Presario has plenty of room to grow on, and even comes with some
open bays. It runs Vista and it would be a really nice starter system
for the kids, especially if you’re a little short this year. Hey, we
understand. We don’t even get those cool Woot Buckets in our pay
envelope. Sometimes we think our C.E.O. likes you better than he likes
us!

No one is ever going to say that this Compaq is cutting
edge or top of the line. But if all you want to do is surf, download,
read brilliantly written copy and buy some things, you’ll be pretty
okay with this system.

Warranty: 1 Year HP

Features:

• Processor Type: AMD Sempron 3600+ / 2 GHz
• Installed RAM: 1 GB / 4 GB (max)
• RAM Technology: DDR2 SDRAM
• Hard Drive: 1×120 GB - standard – 7200 rpm
• Operating System: Microsoft Windows Vista Home Basic
• Graphics Processor / Vendor: NVIDIA GeForce 6150 SE
• Optical Storage: DVD±RW (±R DL) / DVD-RAM – Serial ATA
• Read Speed: 40x (CD) / 16x (DVD)
• Write Speed: 40x (CD) / 16x (DVD±R) / 8x (DVD±R DL)
• Expansion
  Bays Total (Free): 2 ( 1 ) x front accessible – 5.25” x 1/2H ¦ 2 ( 1 )
  x internal – 3.5” x 1/3H ¦ 2 ( 1 ) x front accessible – 3.5” x 1/3H
• Expansion Slots Total (Free): 2 ( 0 ) x memory – DIMM 240-pin ¦ 1 ( 0 ) x processor ¦ 2 ( 1 ) x PCI ¦ 1 ( 1 ) x PCI Express x16 ¦ 1 ( 1 ) x PCI Express
• Networking: Network adapter – integrated
• Modem: Fax / modem

Dimensions:

• Product Form Factor: Tower
• Width: 6.7 in
• Height: 14.8 in
• Depth: 16.8 in
• Weight: 20.9 lbs

If you didn’t notice, the LG DR787T DVD Recorder with HDMI, Upconversion and ATSC Tuner
can get digital signals over the air. That means when normal tee vee
finally goes away forever, you’ll still be able to watch. No, stop
denying it, it’s all over and done with and there’s no going back. It’s
not even like radio, where it took a few decades until Clear Channel
killed it dead. It’s done. Goodbye, old television. Goodbye.

But hello to the future! And you can start saving that future with the LG DR787T DVD Recorder with HDMI, Upconversion and ATSC Tuner.
You’ve got five recording settings and it won’t record in High Def, but
come on, how long have you been Norm Def before now. All your life,
right? It’s no big thing.

The LG DR787T DVD Recorder with HDMI, Upconversion and ATSC Tuner can also play DVD Video and upconverts it to 720p or 1080i thanks to an HDMI digital interface. Sort of seems like it should be able to do that to stuff you recorded, too, but it says NORM DEF ONLY on our little fact sheet so whatevs. We just work here. Oh, hang on, our boss is calling us, that might be about to change…

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Features:

• Upscales DVDs up to 1080i when using an HDMI cable
• Receives HD broadcast signals (records and displays in standard definition)
• Record TV shows or video from a camcorder to a DVD
• Supports time shift recording when recording to a DVD-RAM disc.
• ATSC/NTSC/QAM Clear Tuner, receives unscrambled programs without a set-top box (Cable service required)
• Plays MP3, WMA, and JPEG files contained on a USB flash drive (Supports FAT 16 or FAT32)
• Supports DVD-RW, DVD-R, DVD+RW, DVD+R (Double layer), and DVD-RAM media
• Record up to 11 hours on 1 4.8gb DVD (On lowest quality setting)
• Supports LG SimpLink that allows control for other LG SimpLink products using HDMI
• Convenient recording and editing from digital camcorders with DV (1394) Input Recording.

Specifications:

In the box:

• LG DR787T DVD Recorder
• Remote
• Power Cable
• Composite Cable
• IR Blaster
• Coax Cable
• Blank DVD-RW
• Users Guide

Pewter used to be reserved for two people: deformed young boys in
the American Revolution and collectors of The Franklin Mint Civil War
Chess Set. But no longer do we suffer under an elitist pewtocracy. Meet
the Sennheiser MX90 Earphones, the headphones specially designed for the pewter enthusiast.

Pewter
has long been known as the most rockin’ of all metals, and with good
reason. Did you know that Lemmy Kilmeister is over 22 percent pewter?
Did you know that Yanni has less than 1%? Did you know that the
Sennheiser MX90 Earphones are ergonomic and twist-to-fit?

These lovely Sennheiser MX90 Earphones
are hand crafted by robots in a process called “manufacturing”. The
ancient wise men of Tibet also used a similar process to make their
silver mugs, from which they drank a special tea that let them see
visions of the future. Isn’t it possible that the same thing could
happen to you if you were to use these Sennheiser MX90 Earphones to listen to the sound of tea?

The Sennheiser MX90 Earphones are perfect for use with iPods, Sansas, Computers, CD Players, FM Radios,
and even kitchen knives, if you enjoy chopping up headphones. Hey,
we’re not here to judge. We just want to sell pewter. And the
Sennheiser MX90 Earphones fit the bill.

So
stop worrying if your cheap plastic headphones can be melted down into
a magic bullet that will free you from the werewolf that stalks you as
though you were a helpless infant. Step up to the Sennheiser MX90 Earphones.
And take your place on the mantle of respect, between Bishop Ben
Franklin and Horsey Jefferson Davis. Ol’ Jeffy rides again!

Warranty: 2 Year Sennheiser

Features:

• Specially tuned damping system ensures detailed sound image and highest listening pleasure
• High-quality metal accentuates the unique design
• Ergonomic twist-to-fit design ensures a secure and comfortable fit
• Volume control is integrated into the cable
• Ideal for use with all MP3, CD, DVD, MD players and portable game systems
• Symmetrical cable
• Frequency response: 18-22,000 Hz
• Impedance: 64 Ohm
• THD: < 0.1%
• SPL: (1 kHz, 1 Vrms) 117 dB
• Weight (without cable:) Approx. 12 g

In the box:

• Sennheiser MX90 Earphones
• Carrying Case
• Manual

It’s football season, and you know what that means! It means you
don’t want to get up to get a beer. Well, don’t worry, because that’s
why they have Hawk Apache Double Prop R/C Helicopters.

The
full function remote control lets you guide your Hawk Apache Double
Prop R/C Helicopter thought a place you’ve already got memorized, like
maybe the route from the chair to the fridge. It flies over twenty
meters high, which is ideal for people who live in the upstairs
apartment. The twin electric 180rpm motors keep your helicopter aloft
long enough for someone to maybe tie a can to the bottom. And if that
can turns out to be too heavy for the Apache to carry, there are four
replacement blades included in the box to rebuild after the crash.
Those wheels are rubber, so that should help it land safely.

But
if it works! Imagine if it works! All season you’ll have your feet on
the coffee table as the kids hold the 27 MHz Remote, using the
Accelerator Lever Stick alongside the Steering Control Stick and the
Sliding Fine Adjustment controls to guide that beer to you smoothly and
effortlessly. You can even flash the Blue/Red LCD lights in triumph.

We don’t have benchmarks, but this seems like a plan. And if it doesn’t work, you can still have some fun chasing the cat.

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Features:

• Full Function Remote Control - Forward, Up and Down, Left and Right.
• Flies over 20M High
• Electric 180rpm Motor
• Fully Assembled, Ready To Fly Out Of The Box
• Removable Replaceable Blades (Includes Four Replacement Blades – Two “A” and Two “B”)
• Flashing Blue/Red LED Lights Mounted on the Sides of the Fuselage
• Rubber Rolling Wheels
• Rechargeable Ni-MH 8.4V 350mAh Battery Pack for Helicopter
• 27
  MHz Remote Control with Accelerator Lever Stick, Steering Control Lever
  Stick, On/Off Switch, Telescoping Antenna and Sliding Fine Adjustment
  Controls
• Remote requires Eight AA Batteries – Not Included
• Fuselage Length: 4 Inches
• Fuselage Width: 2 Inches
• Fuselage Height: 2 1/2 Inches
• Overall Length: 15 Inches
• Overall Height (Including Rotors): 7 Inches
• Coaxial (Double) Blade System with Weighted Overhead Stabilizer
• Single Blade Length: 6 Inches
• Overall Rotor Length: 13 1/2 Inches
• Gun and Missile Turret Width: 5 1/2 Inches

In the box:

• Helicopter with Coaxial Rotor
• Rechargeable Ni-MH 8.4V 350mAh Battery Pack
• Remote Control and Telescoping Antenna (Batteries Not Included)
• AC Adapter
• One Set of “A” and One Set of “B” Replacement Blades

How did we know when Sudoku had officially arrived? Not when they
started printing the number-puzzle game in the newspaper. Not when
Brangelina named their latest imported orphan “Sudoku”. No, not even
when the New York Yankees announced that their new stadium would be
called Sudoku Coliseum. We knew Sudoku was now an indelible part of our
culture when we found this piece of cheapo cash-in crap way down at the
bottom of the barrel.

See, this iGadget Electronic Pocket
Sudoku Game represents the kind of quick-buck grab that’s only
profitable when millions upon millions of people are caught up in the
craze. If this were 1978, it would be a pocket horoscope generator; in
1988, a handheld trivia game. Only when a pastime reaches a critical
mass of enthusiasts are there enough rubes among them to buy absolute
crud like this.

From a Chinese sweatshop to a dollar store
to your hot little hands, it brings three levels of Sudoku “action”
along with helpful instructions like “Do not expose machine to the
sunshine, even can’t shock or break forcibly.” But don’t take our word
for it – let’s see what actual reviewers have to say:

• “A complete waste of $. Sticky cheap keys, instructions incomplete and unclear, arrived with dead batteries. Stay away!”
• “Some of the keys don’t work and makes changing the levels impossible.”
• “Worst Gadget Ever”
• “Obviously, whoever designed this have NEVER played Sudoku.”
• “A rip-off at any price!”
• ”…without a doubt the worst purchase that I have ever made (even though it was at such a low cost).”
• “Useless piece of junk! Do not spend your money on this – not even worth $1.”

The
reviews collectively spin a sordid tale of dead batteries, unresponsive
controls, and the same puzzles over and over again. Got your credit
card out yet? Maybe you’ll get lucky and get one with corroded
batteries!

Contrary to those reviews, though, we can
confidently state that it contains more than one different puzzle per
level – perhaps even as many as three. So it’s perfect for passing the
time on your next plane trip, assuming your flight lasts half an hour
or less.

No, you won’t get anywhere near your money’s worth
out of this iGadget Electronic Pocket Sudoku Game…at first. But
someday, if you’re patient, it’ll be a valuable piece of cultural
history. Wow, the museum-goers of tomorrow will marvel, once upon a time, people were so into Sudoku that somebody was able to make money off of this piece of garbage.

Warranty: 90 Day iGadget

Features:

• Three Modes: Easy-Medium-Hard
• Each mode can automatically generate several puzzles
• Built in memory can record game status and your highest score
• LED backlit function, intelligent control, and manual or automatic option
• “SLEEP” function. automatically enters into sleep mode after 10 minutes if not used. Continue game by turning on
• By pressing “Submit” allows you to examine results on game completion
• Cursor design: Flashing cursor indicates current position allowing for convenient directional move
• Large LCD screen with back light, suitable for day or night use
• Sound function: Keys use different sounds to minimize operation error
• Runs on two ‘AAA’ batteries (Included)

In the box:

• iGadget TY-425 Sudoku Electronic Puzzle Game
• 2 AAA Batteries
• User Guide

You’re listening to KAKA-FM, where we get
down and dirty with heavy-duty grooves! In that last set, we dropped
“Wipeout” by the Surfaris, “Here I Go Again” by Whitesnake, “Bowels of
the Devil” by Body Count, and “Drop It Like It’s Hot” by Snoop Dogg.
Before that you heard the Police with “De Doo Doo Doo, De Da Da Da”,
Charlie Rich with “Behind Closed Doors”, and we started it off with Cab
Calloway doing “The Scat Song”. Ah, it feels good to get that out of
our system!

Coming up in a minute, we’ve got tracks by the
Wipers, T-Pain, and W.C. Handy. But before we get back to the music,
let me ask you something: where is the one room in the house where
you’re most likely to miss out on KAKA
programming while you tend to nature’s call? If you said “the
bathroom”, wipe that frown off your face, because I just discovered
something that’s going to dump that problem for good: the Generic
Toilet Paper Dispenser with Built-in FM Radio! I know, right? It was about time somebody thought of it, and the good people at Generic finally did. It runs on 3 AAA
batteries, it’s super-easy to mount, and it tunes in the full FM
spectrum, from 88 to 108. The speaker is water-resistant – I guess it
would have to be! I’ve got one, and I’ll tell you, it’s really filled a
void in my life. Get the Generic Toilet Paper Dispenser with Built-in FM Radio and never waste a minute!

OK,
I’ve got a buttload of records to play, so here’s one of my favorites,
hope it’s one of yours: it’s Van Morrison with “Brown- Eyed Girl”.

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Features:

• Toilet paper holder that has a FM radio tuner built in
• Receives 88 – 108 MHz FM radio stations
• Simple and easy replacement of toilet paper
• Water resistant speaker
• Mounts easily with peel and stick sponge sticker, or mounting screws
• Operates on 3 AA batteries (not included)

In the box:

• Toilet Paper Dispenser with Built-in FM Radio
• Mounting Screws
• Peel and Stick Sponge Sticker

Baby, listen… baby… baby, listen, listen, listen. I’d never… no, you’re
the only one for me, baby, the only one I’d ever… baby, baby, listen,
listen to me for a second! You ever hear the phone ring? Ever? And you
know why you don’t? Because you’re the only one who has the phone
number. that’s right. See that lamp there? That’s my iGadget IGS-019
Cell Phone Alert Holder w/Night Light. Yeah, I keep it right there in
the cradle to charge, right beside my bed. Flashing? No, that’s just a
short, baby! Yeah, it’s an old lamp, it flashes a little. But I keep it
because it reminds me of you. Remember that first time we went up to…
baby, now, don’t you start readin’ that manual, now. Baby… baby I
forbid it! You stop that right now! If you turn another page of that
manual, you and I are through! Baby… oh, really? The iGadget IGS-019 Cell Phone Alert Holder w/Night Light flashes a red LED
light when you get a call? Wow, that’s good to know. For the future,
you know. Next time you call me I can… baby, wait, baby… hang on a
second, let me just… you got it wrong… HEY, FINE, I DON’T NEED YOU! I GOT WOMEN LINED UP TO SEE MY IGADGET IGS-019 CELL PHONE ALERT HOLDER W/NIGHT LIGHT! YOU HEAR ME? LINED UP!

Warranty: 90 Day iGadget

Features:

• When your cellphone receives a call, a red LED light starts blinking
• Great place to dock your phone while charging (charger not included)
• Great for bedrooms, meeting rooms, automobiles and noisy areas
• Alerts you of incoming calls even when your phone is on silent mode
• Powered by AA batteries (not included)
• Measures: 5 1/4×3 x 1/4

In the box:

• IGS-019 Cell Phone Cradle

Welcome to Visionary Dreamers, the therapy center that talks you
through a vacation… in your own head! Okay, miss, as soon as you’re
ready, we’ll begin. All set? Great, just relax. Take a deep breath.
Innnnnn. And ouuuuuut.

Picture yourself on a beach.
Walking up to you is a beautiful man. She’s holding a glass of
champagne… wait, sorry, can I take a look at your card? Oh, sorry, I
see you got the basic package. Unless you’d like to pay me directly?
Sure, sure, no problem, we can’t all be Carly Fiorina, right? If we
were we wouldn’t have any companies left! Ha ha, just kidding, I’m sure
HP losing all that money was a total coincidence. Deeeep breath, now,
deeeeep breath. Here we go again.

You’re at the bus station.
You’re lying on a stone bench. Feel the sun on your face, mmmm. Who’s
that? Why, it’s a moderately attractive man. Maybe, I dunno, three
drinks. And, oooo, he’s holding a iGadget Sudoku Electronic Puzzle
Game. He sits down on your bench, there’s over a million puzzles, and a
backlight. He offers you the stylus, oh, if your girlfriends could see
you now!

You don’t know how Sudoku works? That’s okay,
honey, you can peek at the answers. And you do, and you get them all
right, and that man thinks you’re so smart! He’ll always treasure your
time together. And there’s the bus. Time to head home!

Wasn’t
that restful? That’s what we do here at Visionary Dreamers. Here’s a
tip: next time, try the cruise to Morocco. I do a great Grace Kelly.
Bye, now! See you next time!

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Features:

• Electronic Sudoku game with included Stylus
• Multi Levels, Over a million puzzles
• 3 Helpful hints per game
• Backlight for night time play
• Easy to operate Pause function
• Allows you to peek at the answers
• Operates on 2 AAA batteries
• Dimensions: 8” X 5.5” x 75”

Wait. Shhh. Hold on. Hear that?

That? Right there?

That’s electricity oozing out of your car battery. Just draining out free as you fancy, like moviegoers halfway through Fool’s Gold.
With every minute, your battery inches closer to death. Whoops, there
goes a little more. Once you know it’s happening, it’s hard to pay
attention to anything else.

Can anything be done?

Yes.
You could get together with your neighbors and demand that your city
build an extensive, convenient light rail network so you can get rid of
your car. But that could take years of intense activism and billions of
dollars. In the meantime, there’s a slightly easier solution: the
Coleman 1-Watt Solar Powered Trickle Charger.

Just plug it
into your car lighter, set it on the dash, and let it absorb solar
power to keep your battery charged and happy. Why pay for energy when
the sun’s up there giving it away for free? Of course, your car lighter
jack might only work when the car is running. And you might not get all
that much sunlight if you live in some godforsaken igloo up on the tundra. But isn’t it better than doing nothing?

Whoa
– while we’ve been running our mouths, a little more of your battery
power just slipped out. We can’t afford to argue any more! There’s no
time! Hurry, dammit, hurry! The life of your battery depends on it!

Warranty: 2 Year ICP Solar Technologies

Features:

• Maintains your car 12v battery’s charge by using solar power
• Connects though the cigarette lighter adapter
• Clean and quiet
• No maintenance required
• Works under cloudy conditions
• Red LED indicator tells you when it is working

Specifications:

• Maximum Wattage: 1 watt; Ip = 80 mAmps@15 volts
• Unit dimensions: 14” x 3 3/4” x 3/4” – 350 mm x 95 mm 20 mm
• Weight: 0.8lbs. 0.35 kg
• Temperature Range: -40° to 176° / -40°C to 80°C

In the box:

• Coleman 50002 1-Watt Solar Powered Trickle Charger
• Users Guide

So you went ahead and got one. You’re the proud owner of an iPhone. And now what? You’re like a lifelong BMW watcher that can finally afford to buy. And you’re paranoid, aren’t you? You’re scared all the time. That guy over there, he’s going to stand up and bump your arm and send the iPhone flying. That waitress isn’t paying attention, she’ll drop all those plates on your beloved iPhone. That dog is a wild animal, he’ll grab your iPhone and run ten blocks and then bury it in a vacant lot and they’ll build a skyscraper on top of it that will crush it slowly over a sixty year period and then they’ll demolish the skyscraper and they’ll find the little iBits that are broken, just like your heart. So many dangers out there.

That’s why we’re thinking you might like this 4 Pack of Speck SeeThru iPhone Cases. You see, the Speck SeeThru iPhone Cases are made of polycarbonate plastic. They’re hard, translucent, and almost completely shatterproof. It’s still probably not a good idea to throw your iPhone at concrete as hard as you can, but if it happens accidentally, you’ll have a little extra safety.

Of course, they’re not for the iPod Touch. And they’re not going to work with the 3G iPhone, But if there’s a 1G or 2G iPhone in your hand as you read this, you can feel confident that the Speck SeeThru iPhone Case will fit.

The Speck SeeThru iPhone Cases are also slim and sleek and stylish. Plus the Speck SeeThru iPhone Cases are designed to keep the important iPhone parts accessible so there’s no worry about taking the thing apart when you want to use it. Just treat it normally, and with less worry.

Stop wondering if the three year old with a finger in his mouth is about to leave a line of drool across the lovely shiny metal back of your precious toy. The Speck SeeThru iPhone Case 4 Pack is your chance to finally ease the pain of being the first on your block. But watch out for that dog. He really is a wild animal.

Warranty: 1 Year Speck Products

Features:

• Specifically designed for the original iPhone (not compatible with iPod Touch or iPhone 3G)
• Protects the original iPhone from scratches
• Made of polycarbonate plastic with cutouts for the headphone jack, data plug, switch, and camera
• Comes in 4 different colors, Aqua, Pink, Red, and Smoke
• Polycarbonate plastic is very durable and virtually shatter-proof
• Length: 2.5 inches
• Width: 1.5 inches
• Height: 4.5 inches
• Weight: 2.3 oz.

In the box:

• 4 Speck SeeThru iPhone Case (Aqua, Pink, Red, Smoke)

Tired of working your pathetic, demeaning, go-nowhere, dead-end,
penny-ante, Mickey Mouse job? Yeah, us too! That’s why we decided to be
our own boss with a lucrative new career in the arcade industry. In
just minutes, we transformed our basement from a dusty spider sanctuary
into a dynamic, profitable video game arcade – and so can you! Here’s
what you’ll need:

• The Midway 42400 12 Game Tabletop Arcade System, with 12 arcade classics crammed into one tabletop unit. Running the gamut from Defender to Defender II, these low-res favorites will be a hit with any neighborhood kid whose PlayStation is broken. The 14” CRT
  is a little small, but at least it’s authentic. Remember: the more
  units you buy, the more revenue you can capture. But since there are no
  coin slots on these machines, you’ll have to collect the quarters
  yourself, by hand. Which brings us to the next item on our list…
• One of those cool change belts with the metal tubes that
  dispense coins. Of course, this wasn’t a problem for us, since we
  already wear one. But it’s not just for looks anymore!
• Black carpet. For maximum verisimilitude, spill Mr. Pibb
  on it in a few spots, and stomp some Doritos into it for good measure.
  Invite neighborhood pets to “break in” the carpet however they please.
  It’s not a true arcade carpet until you can smell the crud.
• Assorted hoodlums, lowlifes, and riff-raff. A key element
  in any successful video arcade is a vague sense of danger. Hire a
  couple of vaguely threatening but essentially harmless suburban
  hoodlums to give the place atmosphere.
• And finally, give your arcade a pathetic, exploitative
  name. Something like “Planet Arcade” or “Vic’s Video Funhouse” or
  “Lazerz” will send the right message to your clientele: you don’t give
  a damn about video game players, or even understand them, but you’re
  willing to make a buck off of them anyway.

Congratulations!
You’re on your way to financial freedom with the Midway 42400 12 Game
Tabletop Arcade System. And you can tell that crummy job of yours: GAME OVER!

Warranty: 90 Day Midway

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

Features:

• 14” full color CRT monitor with 12 Classic Arcade Hits built in
• Accessible AV jacks allow you to plug in and play any of your other home video game systems
• Dual Control Panel for Head-to-Head Play
• No assembly required, plug and play

Built in Classic Arcade Games:

• Defender
• Defender II
• Bubbles
• Splat
• Sinistar
• Rampage
• Satans Hollow
• Root Beer Tapper
• Timber
• Wizard of War
• Roborton
• Joust

In the box:

• Midway 42400 12 Game Tabletop Arcade System
• Users Guide

Mr. Pink: You know what drives me nuts is, these DVDs with
the guy talking over the movie, about how this shot was supposed to
look like some obscure old Hungarian silent movie and how great Pia
Zadora is to work with. The hell do I need to hear that for? You made
the movie, get the hell out of the way so I can enjoy it, you know? A
work of art should speak for itself. Is this just me? Am I crazy?

Mr. Blue: What do you care? You don’t have to watch it.

Mr. White: Just turn it off.

Mr. Pink: Sometimes I put a DVD in, it’s stuck in that mode. I can’t figure out how to switch it off. It’s insanity.

Mr. White: Just because you don’t know how to work a DVD player, don’t go ruining it for the rest of us.

Mr. Pink: What, don’t tell me you actually listen to that crap?

Mr. White: Sometimes, yeah, I do. I appreciate the insights into aspects of the movie I might otherwise have overlooked. That OK with you?

Mr. Pink: Yeah, fine, whatever, do whatever you want.

Mr. White: Thank you, sire.

Mr. Orange:
OK, but how about the “anniversary editions” and “deluxe editions” and
all that crap, that come in a fancy box with a poster or a, a
bobblehead or something?

Mr. Pink: Exactly, yeah.
Who’s so fascinated with all this hype that they’re actually buying
this stuff? Tell you what, I don’t believe anybody is. Like this Reservoir Dogs
set with the shot glasses. Someday it’s gonna come out that they sold
ten of those sets, or maybe fifty, and the rest were all backhoed into
some landfill because the whole thing was actually a front for
something else.

Mr. Blonde: I wouldn’t put it past them. Those movie studios weren’t built by choirboys, we all know that.

Mr. Pink: Damn right.

Mr. Orange: They’ve even dumped some of those shot glasses on the market without the DVDs. Where’d the DVDs go?

Mr. Pink: Give you ten to one you find those DVDs, you find a hole full of dead bodies.

Mr. Brown: Well, I think you’re all wrong. Since when is it a crime to make a little money?

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Features:

• Same shot glasses that were packaged in the 15th anniversary collector set that originally came with the Reservoir Dogs DVD, DVD not included
• Glass construction
• Screenprinted images, featuring: Mr. Brown, Mr. White, Mr. Blonde, Mr. Orange, Mr. Pink, Reservoir Dogs movie title

In the box:

• Mr. Brown shot glass
• Mr White shot glass
• Mr. Blonde shot glass
• Mr. Orange shot glass
• Mr. Pink shot glass
• Reservoir Dogs shot glass

USB MINI NUMERIC KEYBOARD WITH HUB: H-hey! Leave me alone!
TYPICAL OPTICAL MICE: Haw haw! Take that, nerdlinger!
TARGUS LASER TECHNOLOGY MOUSE: Hey, guys, you’re scaring him!
TYPICAL OPTICAL MICE: Haw haw! Laser mouse, you’re 20x more sensitive!
WIRELESS USB TRANSMITTER: Nothing wrong with that!
TYPICAL OPTICAL MICE: Whoa! It’s a Wireless USB Transmitter!
ULTRA MINI USB 2.0 4 PORT HUB: And he’s not alone!
TYPICAL OPTICAL MICE: Let’s get outta here!
MOBILE SURGE PROTECTORS: Going somewhere, fellas?
TYPICAL OPTICAL MICE: Oh no! Our goose sure is cooked!
USB MINI NUMERIC KEYBOARD WITH HUB: Wow! Who are you guys?
TARGUS LASER TECHNOLOGY MOUSE: Yeah! No ones ever helped us before!
MOBILE SURGE PROTECTORS: (sotto voce): We can’t tell them!
WIRELESS USB TRANSMITTER: Let’s just say… we’re a lot like you.
ULTRA MINI USB 2.0 4 PORT HUB: Yeah! Cause we know you in the future.
MOBILE SURGE PROTECTORS: Oh, thanks a lot, Hub!
WIRELESS USB TRANSMITTER: Yeah, terrific work there, Cap’n Stealth.
ULTRA MINI USB 2.0 4 PORT HUB: Hey, it was a mistake! I’m sorry!
TARGUS LASER TECHNOLOGY MOUSE: Why is everything all shiny?
WIRELESS USB TRANSMITTER: Oh, nice one, Hub, now the future has changed.
ULTRA MINI USB 2.0 4 PORT HUB: I said I was sorry!
MOBILE SURGE PROTECTORS: When this is all over, know what I’m gonna do?
ULTRA MINI USB 2.0 4 PORT HUB: What?
MOBILE SURGE PROTECTORS: I’m gonna go back and mess up your granny.
ULTRA MINI USB 2.0 4 PORT HUB: Don’t you be talking about my granny!
MOBILE SURGE PROTECTORS: I am, I’m gonna mess her up! I’m gonna wreck her!
ULTRA MINI USB 2.0 4 PORT HUB: You better not or I’ll-
MOBILE SURGE PROTECTORS: You’ll what, huh?
WIRELESS MINI USB TRANSMITTER: Both of you shut up, the temporal wave is

VWOOOOMVOPTHUP
ULTRA MINI USB 2.0 4 PORT HUB: Wait, so he got punched back to life?
MOBILE SURGE PROTECTORS: This is all your fault.

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Features:

• High sensativity and precision laser technology engine Wireless USB Tranceiver
• USB Mini Numeric Keyboard with Hub
• Expand your connectivity: 19-key keypad plus two extra USB 1.1 ports for accessories like mice, USB flash memory drives, webcams and more
• Faster data inputs: Low-profile full size keys for convenient data
  input – ideal for spreadsheet, accounting and financial applications
• Plug and play connectivity: Easy to install – simply plug into your notebook computer’s USB slot – no drivers required
• Ultra Mini USB 2.0 4-Port Hub
• Travel light: Small, lightweight design without the weight of an A/C adapter
• Expand your capabilities: Connect 4 USB devices, such as mice, digital cameras and memory drives to your notebook simultaneously
• Plug and play: Easy to install – simply plug into your notebook computer’s USB slot – no drivers required
• Protect your notebook’s sensative components: Thermal overload
  protection system that reduces risk of electric shock or fire during
  sustained over voltage
• Compatible with most notebooks: Designed to fit most laptops, hi-fi equipment and video recorders
• Convenient to use: Ideal for the mobile user, small and lightweight; no more cords or large size surge protectors

Specifications:

• 19-key keypad
• Unsynchronized “num lock” for ease of use
• Dimensions – 3.75” X 2” X 1/4”
• Weight: 3.8 oz.
• Voltage Rating: 230 Volts
• Minimum Current Rating: 2.5 Amps
• Maximum Current Surge Handling: 2.5 kA
• Worldwide Voltage Compatible (110 -230V)
• Automatic reset after transient has passed

System Requirements:

• Windows 2000, Me, XP or Mac OS X
• USB port (No driver required)

In the box:

• USB Numeric Pad
• Notebook Wireless Laser Mouse
• USB Tranceiver
• USB 2.0 4-Port Hub
• ISP4 Surge Protector
• ISP6 Surge Protector

When you play at these levels, there’s always someone who wants you…
dead. Bill Greenstreet held the record in Risk: Godstorm until they
found him with a chest full of cards. Bobby Jo Kanklestein was the
first woman to ever hold the title of Trouble Grandmaster, but what
they did to her Pop-o-matic bubble sent her back to Mystery Date for
the rest of her life. And my best friend, Team Fortress Johnny, they
sent a guy to strangle him with his own game controller. But they’re
not gonna get me.

I use a Saitek PP19 P2900 Wireless
Gamepad for that very reason. With a ten meter range, I get all the
movement I want and it works with first person shooters, even if the
game doesn’t normally accept a gamepad. It’s sneaky, you know. Emulates
the mouse and keyboard. Some people don’t even know I have one.

The FPS button takes care of all the setup and it works with Windows 2000 and XP, and also Vista,
once you download the driver. 8-way d-pad, 6 buttons, 2 joysticks, it’s
what you need to get the edge and stay alive. I know one night they’ll
come for me. But the Saitek PP19 P2900 Wireless
Gamepad won’t help them one but. Plus I’ve been watching the Street
Fighter movie. So I’ll be ready. And God help them when that happens.

Warranty: 2 Year Saitek

Features:

• Wireless game pad, works up to 10 meters away from the transmitter
• Compatible with first person shooters, even if a game does not support gamepads
• Works with any game
• 4 quick-fire shoulder triggers
• 8-way d-pad
• 6 responsive buttons
• 2 analog joysticks
• FPS gaming button; instant configuration for first person games
• Fully programmable

System Requirements:

• Windows 2000, XP, XP64, Vista, Vista64
• USB Port

Vista drivers are not included on the CD, but it can be downloaded here

In the box:

• Saitek P2900 Wireless First Person Shooter Gamepad
• USB Transceiver
• 1 AA Battery

One of the marvelous things about working here at Woot are the wonderful people on staff. Of course, you’ve all met Kevin
before. But deep in the bowels of the corporate office you’ll also find
a nice lady named Katharine. And, like anyone who works all day in the
bowels, she sometimes hopes for a bit of attention. Really, it’s just
human nature.

So when we noticed her words on the Otto
Bluetooth Headset and Speakerphone, we felt it was time she got some
front page attention. Here’s what she had to say:

I just had to look up how much Embedded DSP Technology
affects the sound quality of a CE accessory, and just got really sad.
Because it appears that this technology will completely replace the art
and skill of making a good pair of soup cans with strings attached.
Some cultures held that sacred.

Why I would want the two earplugs that come with this device is
beyond me, but I’m sure they’ve got reasons that rhyme at Otto. I also
am not quite sure about the advantages of back sticks as well. Unless
they have some magical carnie back waxing power. I didn’t personally
test this one.

Kevin, please find one carnival worker with a
hairy back with which to test the back-sticks on. I would sincerely
appreciate the help.

So there you have it, gentlemen. If you’re a
single, hairy backed carnival worker who hates earplugs, wants dual
wireless headset/speakerphone functionality, and appreciates a good
pair of cans, Katharine would like to hear from you. And she’ll
probably be using the Otto Bluetooth Headset and Speakerphone, so
she’ll be able to talk for about six hours with a ten meter range. Good
luck, guys!

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Features:

• Dual wireless headset/speaker phone functionality
• Transfer calls from headset to speaker without interference
• Portable and Lightweight for use in car, office, or home
• Multi-function buttons on headset and car kit for easy control
• Embedded Digital Signaling Processing (DSP) technology offers superior sound quality
• Compatible with most Bluetooth enabled cellular devices

Specifications:

• Bluetooth Version: 1.2
• Range: 33 feet (10 meters)
• Talk time: Up to 6 hours
• Standby time: Up to 200 hours
• Charging time: Approximately 2.5 hours
• Weight (whole set): 2.56 oz (72.5 g)
• Dimensions (headset): 2” x 1” x .6” inches (50×25 x 11 mm)
• Dimensions (whole kit): 4” x 2” x 1.25” inches (102×60 x 32 mm)

In the box:

• Headset
• Speakerphone Base
• Home Power DC Adapter
• Car AC Adapter
• USB Cable
• Two Earplugs (for custom headset fit)
• Back-Stick Accessory (for mounting the speakerphone)
• Metal Clamp (for mounting the speakerphone)

Every father knows. There’s nothing like that moment when your baby
daughter looks into your eyes, puts her chubby little hands on your
cheeks, and says the word you’ve been longing to hear: “data”.

Your heart just melts.

Of course, she’s still too young for the Kingston DT110G/8GB USB 2.0
Hi-Speed Data Traveler. She’d try to eat it, the little darling – it’s
a documented fact that babies believe that data can be absorbed orally.
But I couldn’t resist buying her one anyway, for when she gets a little
older. When she nestles against me and lets out a little sigh of
contentment, I know that I owe it to this fragile little life to give
her the most convenient, portable Flash storage I can. How much do I
love you, sweet little baby girl? 8 GB, that’s how much.

Warranty: Five Year Kingston

Features

• 8GB of flash storage
• Compliant — designed to Hi-Speed USB 2.0 specifications
• Convenient — pocket-sized for easy transportability
• Simple — just plug and play into a USB port
• Practical — no cap to lose; USB connector protected within case
• Dimensions — 2.142” 0.836” x 0.512” (54.41mm x 21.24mm x 13.00mm)

Supported Operating Systems:

• Windows Vista™
• Windows XP (SP1, SP2)
• Windows 2000 (SP4)
• Mac OS (10.3.x and above)
• Linux (2.6 and above)

In the box:

• Kingston DT110G/8GB USB 2.0 Hi-Speed Data Traveler

…I said “No, I don’t know that Keyleaigh is allergic to
peanuts. But I keep hearing so much about it, I’m not going to take any
chances. Please, send this sundae back to the kitchen.” I gave her a
rice cake instead. Keyleaigh got mad about it, but you know how
15-year-olds are.

This Tuesday? I think I’m free. Why?

Your
scrapbooking group? Oh, Andrea, you’re not still doing scrapbooking,
are you? Do you have any idea what’s in that glue? Yeah, I know it says
“non-toxic” on the label. I just don’t trust all those, all those
chemicals and stuff. Not to mention the markers and the glitter – I
swear, scrapbooking gave Keyleaigh asthma for a little while. It went
away by the time we saw the doctor, but still.

Anyway, I’m all about the videos these days. It’s awesome. I’ve been taking our old home movies and putting them on DVD with this awesome Dazzle DVD Recorder thing. I plug one end into the VCR or the camera or whatever, the other end into my computer, and a little while later I’ve totally got this awesome DVD.
No glue, no glitter – just awesome video memories. We’ve been watching
them with Keyleaigh all week. It’s a lot better for her than hanging
out in some disease-ridden mall with her friends.

What, Andrea? What do you mean, “TVs give off radiation”?

Warranty: 90 Day Dazzle

Features:

• Transfer and share your videos on DVD with Dazzle DVD Recorder
• Capture from any video source with composite (RCA) or S-Video output
• Plug-in-play simplicity and a step-by step guide, copying your home movies from almost any video device to DVD
• Burn videos direct from video source to DVD to preserve your memories and play them on a TV
• Includes Instant DVD Recorder software with one-click recording from video source to DVD with menus and chapters

Capture Format:

• MPEG-2

Import Formats (Studio QuickStart):

• Video: DV, AVI, MPEG-1, MPEG-2,  Windows Media® Format
• Audio: WAV
• Graphics: BMP, JPG, PCT, TGA, TIF, Windows Media Format

Export Formats (Studio QuickStart):

• Video CD (VCD) or S-VCD with optional CD burner (CD-R or CD-RW)
• DVD with optional DVD burner (DVD-R, DVD-RW, DVD+R or DVD+RW)
• DV, AVI, RealVideo® 8, Windows Media 9, MPEG-1, MPEG-2 files

Minimum System Requirements:

• Windows® XP (SP2 or higher) or Windows Vista (32 bit only)
• Intel® Pentium® or AMD® Athlon® 1.4 GHz or higher (2.4 GHz or higher recommended)
• 512 MB RAM (1 GB recommended)
• DirectX® 9 or higher compatible graphics card with 64 MB (128 MB recommended)
• DirectX 9 or higher compatible sound card
• 1 GB of disk space to install software
• 1 USB 2.0 (Hi-Speed) port
• DVD burner for creating DVDs

Hardware Specifications

• Video inputs: Composite video (RCA), S-Video (mini-DIN)
• Audio inputs: Stereo audio (RCA x2)
• PC connection: Hi-Speed USB 2.0

Package Contents:

• Dazzle DVC 100 USB video capture device
• Instant DVD Recorder software
• Studio QuickStart software
• Quick Installation and Getting Started guide 

Every time we walk into our local home video rental chain franchise, they’re playing this never-ending looped presentation on the virtues of Blu-Ray. It’s loud enough that you can hear it everywhere in the store, and short enough that you get the whole thing at least once in a ten-minute visit. It’s really, really annoying, and makes it hard to concentrate on picking a movie. This must be how Noriega felt, trying to make a plan in the Vatican mission with the Steve Miller Band blaring outside.

At least our distracted state of mind offers some explanation for why we left the place with 10,000 B.C., which was the boringest movie featuring mammoths we’ve ever seen. Less talk, more sabre-toothed tigers!

One of the weird things about the Blu-Ray propaganda kiosk is that it uses clips from really crummy movies to show off the system’s dazzling high-definition picture. That’s cool that the image is so crisp and everything, but the main problem with Spider-Man 3 was not that it was hard to see, you know?

Maybe the most ardent Blu-Raëlian cultists are a bit like the hi-fi freaks of old, who were way more interested in fidelity than in music, and eager to play you a series of truly dreadful records to show it off. The best systems gave you the impression that you were actually in a concert hall, listening to an orchestra you didn’t like! That’s actually not an experience we’ve ever cared to simulate in our home, thank you.

Still, those in-store psy-ops, objectionable as they are, might just be working on us. Because when we saw this Sony Digital Living System, we barely noticed that it’s actually a PC that fits right into your home theater system. Most of its many admirable features — a 500-gig hard drive, full DVR functionality, built-in NTSC and ATSC TV tuners and CableCARD™ support, 2GHz Intel® Core™ 2 Duo Processor E6400, 802.11 a/b/g wireless — because we were so het up over the Blu-Ray player.

“Oh, man!” we said, out loud. “Think how awesome the mastodon hunt from 10,000 B.C. would have looked on this!” That’s when we started to feel like maybe we had a problem.

Warranty: 90 Day Sony

Authorized for SquareTrade Extended Warranty

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Features:

• Media center PC with Blu-Ray Disc technology and DVR capability
• HDMI and component signals capable of full HD 1080 resolution
• Blu-Ray R and RE burner, Video recording to Blu-Ray Disc media is done in MP2 format only
• Rack style multimedia PC designed for your living room or home theater
• Built-in NTSC and ATSC TV tuners and CableCARD™ support, you can watch and record analog and digital TV directly to the hard drive for on-demand viewing
• Intel® Core™ 2 Duo Processor E6400 running at 2.13GHz with 2MB Advanced Smart Cache
• 500GB 7200 RPM SATA hard drive (250GBx2)
• 2GB DDR2 PC2-5300 667MHz RAM
• 4 USB 2.0 ports (2 in front, 2 in rear)
• 10Base-T/100Base-TX/1000Base-T Ethernet and wireless 802.11 a/b/g networking support
• Sony Sound Reality technology with DSD (Direct Stream Digital) support
• Windows Vista™ Home Premium operating system

Specifications:

In the box:

• Sony VGXXL3 Digital Living System
• Remote Control
• Wireless Keyboard
• HDMI™ Cable
• HDMI-DVI Adapter
• S/PDIF Optical Cable
• Wireless Antenna
• AA Batteries (6)
• Power Cord
• 8cm Disc Adapter

Because these mini lanterns are blue and cute, we wanted to say that
they’re approximately the size of Smurfs. And then this debate broke
out in our workspace about whether that’s accurate. And it’s basically
impossible to say, because the Smurfs’ height is supposed to be “three
apples,” but no one ever says what kind of an apple, and in any case
they are routinely depicted as much smaller than that.

There
is very little consideration given to continuity as far as the size of
the Smurfs goes, and it can be jarring. Sometimes they’re about as tall
as Azrael; sometimes they’re much shorter. How are we, the audience,
expected to care about what happens in the lives of the Smurfs if even
the overseas animators don’t?

Anyway, these mini hanging
lanterns, besides being convenient indoors and out, are fun for camping
enthusiasts, victims of power failures, or anyone who prefers
illumination to darkness. And they’re about the size the Smurfs are SOMETIMES.

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Features:

• Six mini battery-operated lanterns
• Hook design, making it simple to place them outdoors where there are no electrical outlets
• High/low switch on each lantern allows you to adjust the amount of light emitted
• Each lantern requires 4 AA batteries, not included
• Measures approximately 5”H x 4-1/2”Diam

In the box:

• 6 Pack Blue Hi/Low Mini Hanging Lanterns

Klipsch RCW-3 In-Wall Loudspeaker Pair
Class of 2009
“Я ненавижу эту тупоумную страну”

Accomplishments
- Russian Club
- 200 watts peak, 50 watts continuous

Voted “Most Dour”

The Klipsch RCW-3
In-Wall Loudspeaker twins were quite a surprise! We never knew we’d be
getting an exchange student, and it certainly was a “culture shock”,
but we think we all managed pretty well. We hope they got a good
education even though they were too ungrateful to even learn how to say
“ya’ll”. Good luck back in your godless freedom-hating country, Klipsch
RCW-3 In-Wall Loudspeaker Pair!

Warranty: 5 Year Klipsch

Features:

• Frequency response: 42Hz-20kHz±3dB
• Power handling: 50 watts maximum continuous (200 watts peak)
• Sensitivity: 93dB @ 1watt/1meter
• Nominal impedance: 8 ohms
• Tweeter: 1” (2.54cm) Titanium dome compression driver
• High frequency horn: 6” square 90°x60° Tractrix® Horn
• Woofer: 6.5” (16.51cm) Cerametallic® cone / cast polymer frame
• Enclosure material: ABS
• Enclosure type: Infinite baffle, front flush with wall
• Dimensions: 14.1” (35.8cm) x 9.05” (23cm)
• Mounting depth: 3.75” (9.5cm)
• Cutout dimensions: 13” (33cm) x 8” (20.3cm)
• Weight: 5 lbs. (2.26kg)
• Finishes: White
• Built from: 2000
• Built until: 2004

Let’s hear it for the second-tier Christmas presents, those auxiliary doo-dads that make marquee gifts like ponies, BB guns, and Xboxes look all the more impressive. Whether they’re stuffing a stocking or bulking up the pile under the tree, gaudy, low-price gifts like the Digital Blue PC Animation Station are as much a part of the holiday season as leftovers, depression, and FINAL WARNING credit-card bills. It’s just not Christmas without them.

We’re sure you’re wondering, so here’s the deal with this thing: your tot or totette can record up to four minutes on sound clips with the pacifier-looking microphone. Then the darling tyke can plug the Animation Station into your PC’s microphone jack and use the included software to do all kinds of crazy things to the sounds: edit ‘em, mix ‘em, stretch ‘em, squash ‘em, whatever.

If he or she is so inclined, your offspring can even create little movies using animated clip-art, and sync the sounds up to the animation. The library of clips (including some of the most popular Cartoon Network characters from five or six years ago) and simple interface are perfect for kids with more creative energy than expertise.

But most importantly, it’s just the kind of flashy, mysterious, tech-heavy gadget that inspires 15 seconds of crazed enthusiasm on Christmas morning, temporarily restoring your prestige in the eyes of your brood. While the Digital Blue PC Animation Station can’t bear the entire load of your children’s expectations, it fills out a stocking much more nicely than an orange does.

Warranty: One year

Features:

• Record sounds and voices at or away from your PC (holds 4 minutes of sound and voices away from PC)
• Download your recordings to your PC to create your own sound library
• Use sound effects and over 40 morphs to make your recordings sound like everything from an alien to an echo chamber
• Type in phrases and have Cartoon Network characters say them
• Add, remove and mix words and sounds from one recording to another
• Simple 5-Button Operation: Record, Playback, Volume, Trash, Download
• Animate recordings with Cartoon Network characters
• Share your recordings and animations through e-mail
• Recommended for Ages 6 to Adult
• Requires 4 “AAA” Batteries (Not Included)

Includes:

• PC Animation Station
• Multi-Media Mixing and Morphing Software CD-ROM
• Headphones
• Belt Clip
• Connecting Cable (connects to your computer’s microphone jack)

PC Animation Station System Requirements:

• Windows 98, 98 SE, ME, 2000, and XP
• Intel® Pentium® or CeleronTM processor 233 MHz or faster (166 MHz minimum)
• 32 MB RAM
• Minimum 140 MB free disk space for install, 90 MB free disk space after installation
• SVGA 800 x 600 resolution video support (min. 16-bit color)
• 4x CD-ROM
• 16-bit Windows® compatible sound device

Last week, the Wrightville Whisper was out and about, asking local residents what they think of the Nike+ Sport Kit Carrying Case for MP3 Players. We got an earful – and then some!

“If only I’d had this when my friend spilled red wine on my iPod, I wouldn’t have had to buy a new iPod. And I wouldn’t be in jail for killing my friend.”
Mark Wayne Quinn, inmate, Wrightville State Penitentiary

“Sure,
looks great…but what am I going to carry it in? Do I have to wait until
Nike gets around to making a Nike+ Sport Kit Carrying Case Carrying
Case?”
Neil Underhill, car washer, Neil’s Wipe n Go

“I
refuse to buy this Nike+ Sport Kit Carrying Case after the way its
surrogates in the media have conspired to keep a woman out of the White
House. I’ll just let John McCain carry my iPod, thank you very much.”
Joan Campbell, artistic director, That Splendid Little Theater Company

“I
have three kids. Didn’t I see something on the news about how the Nike+
Sport Kit Carrying Case could give my three kids cancer? I don’t think
I can bring something like that into my home. Did I mention I had three
kids?”
Alena Wolff, mother of three

“I like my iPod carrying cases the way I like my women: water-resistant, polyurethane, cheap, and easily stored.”
Brian “Ookla the Mok” Irvine, IT assistant, Wrightville Community College

“I
like how it has room for all my iPods and stuff, but black? Are you
kidding me? Black is so – wait, is black cool again? I was sick for a
couple of weeks, so I lost track.”
Jenny Dobrowski, sales associate, the Limited Three

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty

Features:

• Water-resistant polyurethane case will keep all of your accessories organized and ready to go.
• Specially designed for the Nike+ iPod Sport Kit and iPod Nano (but fits most brand mp3 players)
• A padded divider holds your iPod Nano, sensor, and receiver, and a spool keeps your headphones tangle free.
• Has a clear plastic card sleeve on back of divider, a cargo net storage pocket, and a zipper pocket for small valuables
• Small enough to fit in your gym bag
• Dimensions: 4 1/8 W x 5.5 H x 2.75 D

In the box:

• 2 Nike AC1380 Sport Case for MP3 Players

Sometimes the products we sell can be confusing. We know it’s been
hard around the office lately. We start out wanting some popcorn and
suddenly we’re crying about “The Day The Music Died”. So here’s a handy
list to tell the Doral Designs Popcorn Maker from Fifties DJ star J.P.
Richardson.

Doral Designs Popcorn Maker: uses a 1400w air popper.
J.P. Richardson: coined the term “music video” in 1959.

Doral Designs Popcorn Maker: has a unit capacity of 18 oz of popped corn.
J.P. Richardson: once stayed on