“Two wizards. Li-Ion,” babbled Mr. Humphrey. “Polarity monitor. Shines if it’s the right way. Cellphone. MP3. Silver!”

Doris
sighed and scraped a clump of applesauce from Mr. Humphrey’s chin. The
radio rasped out a report about the fighting at Guadalcanal, and she
thought of Ralph, off fighting for democracy, freedom, and FDR.
She wondered if Mr. Humphrey had ever fought in a war – he’d be about
the right age for the Spanish-American, she supposed. But looking at
the shriveled old man, listening to his mysterious babbling about
wizards and lions, it was hard to imagine him charging up San Juan Hill
with the Rough Riders.

“Gotta take ‘em out to charge ‘em
up,” he said, almost as if he had read her mind. “PDA. Digital camera
batteries. Batteries. Universal!” He was sitting almost upright now,
eyes glaring at some phantasm in his mind.

“There, there,”
she soothed, lifting another spoonful of applesauce. They had some real
oddball cases here in the rest home, but nobody else like this. “Have
another bite. You need to eat something, Mr. Humphrey.” What was behind
the old man’s fascination with batteries?

“Two-for-Tuesday! Fifteen to your front door. Two wizards! Universal! Take ‘em out, plug it in, charge ‘em up!”

Ah
well, Doris sighed, no use trying to make sense of the ravings of a
senile old man. Suddenly, for no reason at all, an image popped into
her mind: an orange oval, with the words “I WANT ONE”
printed on it. What did it mean? Was she going the way of Mr. Humphrey,
captive to inscrutable visions of a world that could never be? But she
was so young – it couldn’t be, could it? Doris shuddered and scooped
out another spoonful of applesauce.

Warranty: 90 days

Features:

• Polarity monitor lets you know that you have the battery on the charger correctly
• Easy 3-Step Process to Charge Batteries
• No Adapters
• No Wires
• Swivel Plug

Charges Most Lithium-Ion Batteries (up to 4.5V) for most devices including:

• Cell Phones
• Smart Phones/PDA
• MP3 Players
• Digital Cameras
• Land Line Cordless Phones

Hey, music fan: what’s your dream gig? If you could put together one night of your musical acts playing live, at any point in their careers, which ones would you choose? We put the question to some important rock critics (well, as important as rock critics ever get). Here are their replies:

Dave Swamp, Tumbling Rock magazine: Bob Dylan, the Beatles, and Bruce Springsteen. The answer to any question about rock music is always Bob Dylan, the Beatles, and Bruce Springsteen.

Vilus Infector, Corpse-Devourer’s Digest: Headlining would be Necropsis circa 1987, when they still had Hunz the Defiler on vocals. The opening bands would be Necropsis UK, Psychonecropsis, and Flowr Trybe, Hunz the Defiler’s techno-rave project. You remember, they had that song on that Pottery Barn commercial.

Bront LeCroissant, Haybaler Media: Your reductionist and faux-naive question is an obvious stalking horse for the CD-industrial complex and their publicity stooges, standing in their Atari jackets in rank Williasmburg array, poised to deliver a cut-out-bin stab to the larynx of music qua music, a steel-toed boot stamping on a human face forever in the service of pseudo-underground bubble-disco fascism nee rockism – wait, what was the question?

Matt Blandon, meaning to start a blog sometime: Why would I want to go out to some crowded, loud, smelly club when I can stay home with my Philips 1GB MP3 Player? It’s compact, holds a few hundred songs, and plays the songs I want to hear when I want to hear them. The USB 2.0 connection makes it easy to load, and I can use it as a portable drive for other types of files, too. And I never have to deal with a single bouncer, or go to work with an X on my hand the next day.

Warranty: 90 Days

Features:

• Wearable personal MP3 player with 2-line LCD display
• 1GB built-in flash memory stores up to 450 songs
• USB mass storage compliant
• built-in digital voice recorder
• 4 preset equalizer settings
• high-speed USB 2.0 interface
• Measures 1.12×3.27×0.87 inches (W x H x D)
• Enjoy up to 8-hour music playback
• Easy, intuitive music experience
• Backlit LCD display
• Folder Browsing to find your music fast
• Enjoy MP3 and WMA playback
• Make voice recordings

Specifications:

• Backlight color: Green
• Resolution: 32×128
• Channel separation: 45 dB
• Frequency response: 30 – 18 000 Hz Hz
• Equalizer settings: Classic, Jazz, Pop, Rock
• Output power (RMS): 2×4 mW
• Signal to noise ratio: > 85 dB
• Compression format: MP3, WAV, Windows Media™ Audio
• MP3 bit rates: 8-320 kbps and VBR
• ID3 Tag support: Track title and artist name
• MP3 sample rates: 8, 11.025, 16, 22.050, 24, 32, 44.1, 48 kHz
• Audio capture file format: WAV
• Built-in microphone: mono
• Voice recording: ADPCM
• Built-in Memory Capacity: 1 GB NAND Flash
• Music memory capacity, WMA: Up to 450 tracks
• Mass storage class compliant

Connectivity

• Headphone: 3.5 mm
• USB: Full speed USB 2.0

Accessories

• Batteries: AAA Alkaline
• Headphones: AY3809
• Printed User Guide: English, French, German, Spanish, Dutch, Italian
• USB cable: USB extension cable
• User Guide on CD-ROM

Owning a pair of fine wireless headphones like the Sennheiser RS-130
is a big responsibility, and it can feel overwhelming sometimes. Which
of the three RF channels is right for me? Am I really ready to take my
relationship with audio technology to this level? Why is the larger of
the two Kansas Cities in Missouri, not Kansas? Feelings of anxiety,
guilt, and euphoria are common when the average consumer confronts such
high-quality sound. Here are a few tips to help keep your feet on the
ground, even when your head is in a pair of Sennheiser RS-130 Wireless
Headphones.

Do call the RS-130s an open, circumaural RF wireless headphone system with switchable surround sound.
Don’t call them “cans”.

Do use them to wirelessly enjoy a wide variety of music and video.
Don’t use them to dampen the noise on your visits to the shooting range.

Do take special notice of the RS-130’s outstanding bass response.
Don’t swim for an hour after eating. This goes double if you’re still wearing your Sennheiser RS-130s.

Do return them to the charging cradle when not in use.
Don’t wear them around your neck to parties so the chicks’ll think you just came from some kind of “rave”.

Do respect the Sennheiser tradition of audio excellence.
Don’t pay more than 60 bucks for these. Including shipping.

Warranty: 90 days

Specifications:

• Open, circumaural RF wireless headphone system
• Excellent sound for hi-fi systems and TVs
• Switchable surround sound mode (SRS)
• Automatic search tuning with memory function
• Three selectable RF channels
• Optimum audio levels due to self-learning automatic level control
• Very lightweight headphones, extremely comfortable to wear
• Range of up to 150 m (864 MHz variant), or up to 100 m (926 MHz variant)
• Convenient storing and recharging function
• Easy recharging: simply put the headphones onto the charging cradle
• Rechargeable batteries included
• Acoustic and visual signals confirm the adjustment of new settings
• Operating time: approx. 22 hours

What’s Included:

• HDR130 130 Headphones
• TR130 Transmitter/Charger Unit with RCA Male Right/Left Plug
• 2 AAA Rechargeable Batteries
• RCA Female to 3.5 mm Stereo Headphone Adapter
• 3.5mm to 1/4” headhone Jack Adapter
• User Manual Can Be Downloaded from Sennheiser’s here

Technical Data

• Max. Sound pressure level: 104 dB
• Powering: 9V DC (transmitter); AAA batteries (receiver)
• Weight (Transmitter): 430 g (incl. audio cable)
• Weight (Receiver): 280 g (incl. batteries)
• Range: up to 150 m (for 926 MHz up to 100 m)
• Modulation: FM Stereo
• Signal-to-noise ratio: > 68 dBA
• RF frequency range: 863 … 865 MHz or 926 … 928MHz
• Dimensions (Transmitter): 85×225 x 133 mm
• Frequency response (headphones): 18…..21000 Hz
• Transducer principle: dynamic, open
• Operating time (Accupack): 20-25 h
• THD, total harmonic distortion: < 0,5 %
• Jack plug: 3,5mm / 6,3 mm stereo (863-865 MHz), cinch (926-928 MHz)

Remember those warm summer nights, when our hearts were young, our
collars were wide, and our chests were hairy? Sometimes it seemed like
the Ford administration would never end. Now you can relive those magic
times with the Mellow Soft Lite Gold Hits of the ‘70s, performed by the
Evesham Nav-Cam 7000 3.5” Touchscreen GPS Singers!

All the hits are here, including:

• “You’re Nav-Camming My Baby”
• “I Really Want To Nav-Cam You Tonight”
• “Love Grows (Where My Nav-Cam Goes)”
• “A Horse With No Nav-Cam”
• “Nav-Cam It To The Limit”

That’s right! Celebrate the Nav-Cam’s pre-loaded 3D maps, 1.5 million points of interest, MP3 playback and photo slide shows with the mellow sounds of the golden ‘70s! Like:

• “Seasons in the Nav-Cam”
• “Nav-Cam Will Keep Us Together”
• “(They Long To Be) Close to Nav-Cam”
• “What A Fool Nav-Cams”
• “Baby I’m-A Nav-Cam You”

Roll easy with the Mellow Soft Lite Gold Hits of the ‘70s, performed by the Evesham Nav-Cam 7000 3.5” Touchscreen GPS Singers! Available now for one easy payment of $149.99, plus $5 shipping and handling! Operators are standing by! Sorry – no COD!

Warranty: One year

Features:

• In car navigation
• No activation of maps required
• Full screen 2D and 3D maps with precise voice guidance including road numbers
• 3D Navigation display offers a fantastic overview of the roads including road names
• Optimal routing for any distance
• Fast re-routing to handle any driver mistakes and wrong turns
• Built in GPS receiver
• 1.5 Million POI (points of interest)
• 1GB SD card contains full USA + Canada maps Pre loaded
• Intuitive menus and touch screen buttons for easy ?nger input
• Instant address retrieval from Recently used, Favorites or POIs (Points of Interest)
• Uses latest Navteq Maps (USA + Canada)
• Navigate anywhere in North America without needing to load new maps
• Landscape display format gives a clear view for navigation
• Interface allows for user customization
• Easy installation
• MP3 Playback & Photo Slide Shows

Specifications:

• Display: 3.5” LCD TFT, 320×240 Resolution, 64,000 colors, Touch Screen
• CPU: Samsung S3C2410A 266MHz
• Memory: 64MB SDRAM / 32MB Flash ROM
• SD Card: 1GB Supplied (Supports up to 2GB)
• GPS: Integrated 12 channel GPS-receiver Based on SirfII
• Audio: Integrated speaker / Headphone socket
• Battery: Lithium Ion 1000 mAh / Max 4 hours charge time / up to 2 hours usage in full Navigation Mode
• Dimensions: 130×74 x 21.8mm
• Weight: 191g

Box Contents:

• Quick Start Guide
• Main Charger
• Warranty Card
• USB Sync Cable
• Nav-Cam TripMaster Backup CD
• Pre-Loaded SD Card
• Car Mount
• SD / GPS info sheet
• 12 – 24V Car Charger
• Nav-Cam 7000 PNA

Well, look at you. I see time’s been good to you. Not everybody your age can
get away with wearing that little black strapless number. It’s a daring move,
showing that much skin. But you, you look great. I’ve said it before and I’ll
say it again: nothing’s sexier on you than the Reebok Strapless Heart
Monitor and Sports Watch.

I love the way you let it all hang out, so free, so unencumbered. I love the
way that strapless thing recalls heart rate readings for up to 42 laps. I can’t
get enough of that pacer/chronograph mode and those accurate ECG readings. And the way that voluptuous LCD display sways when you’re jogging…it’s irresistible. Makes
me just wanna run my hands over those touch sensors until the double alarm
bleeps for mercy. Why don’t you come on up to my place later? Make sure you put
on your Reebok Strapless Heart Monitor first. And leave it on.

Warranty: 90 days

Watch functions:

• Time of day showing hours, minutes, seconds. (12 and 24 hour.)
• Heart rate functions.
• EKG accurate. Max, average, & minimum heart
  rate.
• Quick start. Enter age and heart rate, zone is automatically set.
• 4 training zone sessions each with optional visual and double alarm.
• 100 hour chronograph with 50 memories for lap with average heart rate &
  split time with heart rate 

Memory:

• Session recording of max, average, & minimum heart rate.
• 50 lap memory with average heart rate for lap.
• 50 split time recording with heart rate for split.
• Time in zone (TIZ) showing time spent in, above and below target zone with
  average heart rate & % of time in each.

Monitor features:

• Scrolling dot matrix display
• Scan feature
• Reflec-trix day vision display for excellent visibility
• Quick start automatic target zone setting
• Blue night vision

Other features:

• Reflective monitor with strap
• Softex transmitter belt with user changeable battery
• Monitor and transmitter water resistant to 30 meters
• Left Top Button: Light
• Left Bottom Button: Mode
• Right Top Button:
  Start
• Right Bottom Button: Reset
• Contacts on Front of Watch: Press and
  Hold for Heartrate

The yellow busses are clogging up the roads, the backpack industry is enjoying its equivalent of Fashion Week, and teenagers are committing mayhem in the late afternoon instead of distributing it throughout the day. The school year is in full grind, and before the polish comes off the apple, we thought we should try to wring a theme out of it somehow. Your challenge:

Adapt a past or present woot for use in school (or for doing schoolwork, getting to school, etc).

A simple tweak or two could turn any of our nerd supplies into school supplies, so try to think back through the haze of trauma and shame. Remember what if felt like to be stuck in school. If you were sitting in class bored, and somebody handed you a woot product, what would you do with it? The more inventive, the better: using a laptop to take notes scores far lower than, say, dissecting a Screaming Monkey for your science fair project.

Post your entry here by 11:59 PM CDT on Sunday, September 9, 2007.
Prizes are $20/$50/$100 for 3rd/2nd/1st. The rules and criteria for
winning: our panel of geniuses can and will make stuff up as it goes
along. Use Photoshop, linoleum blocks, pastels, MSPaint, cave painting,
tattoos, tribal scarification, whatever, but it’ll only be judged if it’s
visible in our forums as a jpg, gif, or png. As we are fond of saying, try to keep your maximum
width to 450px. If you need a place to host your pictures, try www.imageshack.ws or www.photobucket.com.
We have no connection to either, but they seem free and easy to use.
And if you want us to be sure your entry was indeed your work, post
links to your source images. The more sure we are that you did your own
work, the more likely we are to consider it for a prize.

Past money winners:
If you’d like to nominate any entries from this week’s contest, email
your selections (with links to each individual post) to Jason Toon at jtoon@woot.com by noon CDT on Monday, September 10.

How does a cool $100 rebate sound? Get the form here. Price after rebate: $199.99.

It could happen at any moment. You’re walking down the street, or
parking your car, or even teaching elderly shut-ins to read the Bible,
when BAM! An improperly installed
window-unit air conditioner topples onto you from above! In an instant,
your life is over, another collateral casualty in the battle for
convenient, affordable indoor climate control. At least it’ll be cool
inside your coffin.

Choose life. Choose the Amcor PLM14000E Portable Air Conditioner. Packing enough BTU’s
to chill out a typical 400-square-foot room (that’d be 14,000 British
Thermal Units, to be exact), it simply wheels into and out of said
room, at your pleasure. Sure, you have to run the included exhaust hose
to the window to vent it. But there’s no hoisting it into the window,
no driving screws into your woodwork, no heavy appliance teetering
perilously above innocent passersby. Just wheel it in, vent it, and
keep an eye on the water tank, and you’ll enjoy temperate temperatures
the way they’re meant to be enjoyed: with minimal risk of injury or
death.

Warranty: one-year limited warranty on unit as a whole, five-year warranty on compressor

Features:

• 14,000 BTU
• Self evaporating system
• Digital temperature display, Designed to provide quiet and efficient cooling to any room, with no permanent installation
• 3 fan speeds for fast or normal cooling
• Washable air filter collects large dust particles and prevent bacteria build-up
• Easy-grip handle and casters for easy mobility
• Full thermostat control
• Preset timer available
• Extendable exhaust hose (up to 5 ft.)
• Built-in water tray or extended water tube for continuous drainage

Specifications:

• Power Consumption Cooling: 1100W/9.8A
• Moisture Removal: 60 pints per day
• Thermostat: 62F ~ 90F
• Working Temperature Cooling: 62F ~ 110F
• Controls: Electronic
• Power Supply: 120V / 60Hz / 1 Phase
• Max Room Size: 400 square feet
• Fan Speed: 3
• Compressor: Rotary
• Refrigerant: R22
• Flexible Exhaust Hose: 5 ft in length, 5 inch diameter
• Dimension: 20”W x 16”D x 33”H
• Weight: 75lbs.
• Warranty: limited 1 year and 5 years on the compressor
• Note: The window kit is not designed to work with casement windows (windows that crank out).
• EER: 12.7

Sure, it’s great being the
face of Channel 83 Action AccuWeather. I haven’t had to pay for a
Slurpee at the Clanton Road 7-11 in years, and I can judge the wet
t-shirt contest at Bulldawg’s pretty much any time I want. It’s a sweet
life, I won’t lie to you. But I’ve got bigger plans. Spence Penton is
too huge a talent to stick around this no-horse town forever. I’m gonna
break into major-market newscasts, and the Honestech My-IPTV Anywhere
Deluxe is gonna make it happen.

See, the way My-IPTV
Anywhere works is, I run a line from my cable box to the My-IPTV tuner.
Then I go from there into my home PC via a USB
connection, and make sure that PC is connected to my broadband
Internet. See, the My-IPTV Anywhere server software broadcasts the TV
signal over the net in MPEG-4 format. Then I
install the My-IPTV Anywhere player on my laptop, and I can watch and
control my home TV from my laptop – change channels, schedule
recordings, pause and rewind, whatever. And I can do it from any
broadband connection in the world.

That’s right: Spence Penton is going global.

Skeptical,
huh? Check it out. I’ve been figuring out where the local-TV bigwigs in
New York, Chicago, L.A. and Frisco drink when they get off work. I’m
gonna go there and offer the bartender a few bucks to keep my laptop on
the bar – tuned to my nightly Action AccuWeathercast, natch. As soon as
the key decision-makers get a load of ol’ Spence doing my thing, I
figure I’ll have my pick of offers from the big boys. I’ll even tailor
my segment each night for the sensibilities of my target market – you
know, subway jokes for NYC, traffic jokes
for LA, my hilarious “Da Bears” routine for Chicago, some kind of gay
hippie thing for Frisco, whatever. I can do it all.

Then, by
God, you’ll never see Spence Penton lounging around the pool at the Red
Roof Inn ever again. I’ll be off to see those big city bright lights
that Michael J. Fox wrote so movingly about, although I’ll take a pass
on the cocaine. I almost feel sorry for the hotshot weather jockey
whose job I’ll be taking. Sure, he’s got a big head start, a big
paycheck, a big audience, and his face on some big billboards. But I’ve
got the Penton face, the Penton humor, the Penton charisma – and the
Honestech My-IPTV Anywhere Deluxe.

Oh, yeah, it also comes with some software called VHS to DVD. Evidently it can convert just about any analog video – from your VCR, camcorder, whatever – to DVD. Sounds useful, I guess. But it won’t help make you a major-market weatherman, so Spence Penton can’t use it.

Warranty: One Year End User

MY IP BOX - USB 2.0 TV/Video Capture Box

• Designed for analog signals/channels only
• Supports USB 2.0 Interface, the maximum processing speed 480M
• Supports Plug and Play
• Does not require additional power supply
• Supports Windows 2000 SP4 and Windows XP SP2
• Multi-Input: Standard RF(Cable TV), S-Video, AV
• Includes USB Cable and AV/S-Video combo line

Features

• Channel Changing & Surfing – Switch and search TV channels from outside your home or anywhere else in the world.
• PVR and Scheduled Recording – Pause and rewind live TV.
  Schedule and record TV programs with an intuitive Internet based TV programming tool.
• DVD Burning – Burn recorded TV programs onto a DVD with ease (DVD burner required).
• TV Quality Picture – MY-IPTV Anywhere utilizes the latest MPEG-4 H.264 giving a television quality broadcast.

System Requirements

• USB 2.0 Connection
• Operating system : Windows XP SP2
• Processor : Pentium IV 1.4 GHz or higher (Pentium IV 2.0GHz or higher recommended)
• Memory : RAM 128MB or higher (256MB or higher recommended)
• HDD : 2GB or more
• DirectX 9.0 or later
• Windows Media Player 6.4 or higher
• Internet Connection Required

Optional Requirements

• DVD Burner
• TV signal Splitter

Bonus in the Box: Full Copy of VHS to DVD Plus (Version 3.0)

Features

• Adjustable Recording Time
  Recording will be made for the duration of time you set. With one
  click, you can capture and burn it onto a media of your choice.
• Various Effects and Menu Creation
  Offers many different screen effects and filters, and lets you create your own menus.
• Convenient File Management
  Movie clips are managed in a File Pool for ease of viewing, editing, and deleting.
• Supports Most Burning Devices
  Supports CD-R/RW, DVD+/-R, DVD+/-RW, DVD+RW DL.
• PSP and iPod Formats
  Convert captured video into MPEG-4 format that you can watch on your PSP and iPod.
• PDA or Mobile Device Format
  Convert captured video into WMV format that you can watch on your Windows-based PDA or mobile device.
• Audio Recording
  Record audio from cassettes, LP records, and video tapes and create MP3 files or audio CDs.
• Dual-layer DVD Supported
  Burn DVD movie on dual-layer DVD discs (Your DVD Writer must support dual-layer disc)

Watch video on new gadgets

• You can watch the captured video on Sony PSP, iPod, and other devices.

Music conversion

• Revive old music to new digital formats.
• Record audio from cassettes, LP records, or video tapes.
• Create MP3 files that you can play on MP3 players, PSP, iPod, or PDA devices.
• Convert cassette tapes and LP records into audio CDs.

System requirements

• Operating System: Windows XP Service Pack 2 / Windows Vista Ready (http://www.honestech.com/vista)
• USB 2.0 Host Controller/Port
• Processor: Pentium IV 2.0 GHz or equivalent
• Memory: 256MB of RAM
• Video Output: DVD,VCD, SVCD,AVI,WMV,MPEG-4
• Other:
  Composite (RCA) cable
  1. Audio cable (3.5mm to composite)
  2. Audio cable (3.5mm to 3.5mm)
  DirectX 9.0 or higher
  Windows Media Player 6.4 (or higher)
  CD Writer for VCD, SVCD
  DVD Writer for DVD

Last week, we asked you to Show us a famous person’s alarm clock. Troopers that you are, you didn’t kvetch about how boring and limiting our idea was - you just got in there and started slinging pixels. Our favorite slingers:

First Prize - $100

taipan - Alarm-a-moblarm-a-bam-boozler

Clang the jang-tanglers! Yo the yo-yo! Or don’t!

I will not wake up now! I will not! I won’t!

Second Prize - $50

intaglio - Mötley Snüze

Nice drummer alarm clock, although we’d give it to somebody other than Tommy
Lee.

Third Prize - $20

tgentry - Paradoxiclock

Schrödinger’s cat can sleep through two alarms at once.

Honorable Mention

guiseppi - 3D O’ Clock

If we could see the M. C. Escher connection a little better, this one might’ve grabbed some cash.

mschris89 - And Such As Miss Teen South Carolina Such As

If we could see why place names are on a clock, this one might’ve grabbed some cash.

rivulet - There Once Was A Lady Who Heard A Fly

If we thought the Emily Dickinson reference was more widely-known, this one might’ve grabbed some cash.

danceresa - Waylon Alarm

Hey, on the scoreboard, an easy goal counts the same as a hard one.

Champions’ Championship Champion

wantabewooter - King of Voltage

Apropos of nothing, this entry made us realize the similarity
between Hollywood Donnie K’s famous hair and a “king”’s crown, and
wonder if that’s the idea behind it, if there’s any idea behind it.

On the face of it, we like the idea of a Diebold alarm clock that
always gives the President the numbers he wants. But not when the face
is as ugly as this Monkey Prize-winning entry from Jckatz.

Money winners, please email your Paypal info to jtoon@woot.com. Monkey Prize winner, please email your shipping address to jtoon@woot.com. Honorable Mentioneers may use coupon code HONMEN-FS
for free shipping on a future order. Until next time, remember: whether
you’re a theoretical cat or a woefully undereducated beauty pageant
contestant, peace is just a snooze button away.

Think of anything, no matter how mundane and trivial, and there’s at
least one person out there who’s obsessed with it. Airline schedules.
Shoelaces. Artichokes. The Chicago Cubs. Right now, some weirdo
somewhere is diligently updating a website or organizing a convention
or printing up t-shirts dealing with some subject that most of the
world barely even notices.

Somebody at Belkin feels this way about USB,
and frankly, we’re concerned. A search of the Belkin online catalog
yields no less than 168 results for “USB”. Now, we dig universal
standards for device interface as much as the next online retailer, but
we’d feel better if that USBophilic Belkin exec found another hobby.
You know, for his own sake.

In the meantime, though, we’ll just keep enjoying products like the Belkin TuneSync Dock and 5-Port USB Hub.
Not only is it a chromatically-correct iPod charging dock, complete
with a stereo-out jack for speakers (not included) or headphones (not
included), it also functions perfectly well as a compact, 5-port
AC-powered USB hub. In half a jiffy, you can add five extra USB ports to your mac or PC without having to hack open your computer case. We don’t support Belkin’s unhealthy fixation on USB,
but we’ll sure as hell take advantage of it when it suits us. We just
wonder how many of these that Belkin exec has in his office.

Warranty: Lifetime – Belkin

Features

• Charges and syncs your iPod or iPod mini
• Charges and syncs your iPod shuffle through the USB port
• Includes a stereo-out jack ideal for connecting your stereo, powered speakers or headset
• Integrates iPod charging dock with a 5-port USB 2.0 hub
• Saves desk space with slim-line design
• Guarantees 12Mbps per port for connected USB 1.1 devices
• Supports iPod 5G, 4G, 3G, mini, photo, nano, and shuffle
• Belkin will provide a 2nd-generation nano adapter to anyone who requests it - details on box
• 1 iPod docking connector
• 5 horizontally mounted 480Mbps ports
• Compatible with USB 1.1 and USB 2.0 devices

System Requirements

• For PC Users: Pentium processor-based computer with available USB 2.0 or USB 1.1 port, Windows® 98SE, Me, 2000, and XP
• For Mac Users: Supports high-speed (480Mbps) mode on Apple® computers that are equipped with USB 2.0 ports.
• Note: Mac OS® versions prior to X v10.2.7 support only low- and full-speed modes. Mac OS X v10.2.7 (and above) also supports high-speed mode

Package Includes

• TuneSync for iPod
• 7 Dock Adapters
• Power Adapter
• USB Device Cable
• User Manual

The Last Man On Earth Without An iPod woke up. His island was clean and there was a gentle rain, the mist hiding the horizon. He turned on his computer. There it was. The Apple 20 GB iPod from Hewlett-Packard. The Last Man On Earth Without An iPod thought carefully about the innovative Click-Wheel and how easy it would be to browse through his estimated 5,000 songs. He imagined listening to music non-stop during the entire twelve hours it took to circumnavigate his quiet remote paradise. He debated himself regarding the tiny fit-in-a-pocket size and the shiny polished backside. He stroked his long solitary beard about the enclosed USB and Firewire cords. And finally, The Last Man On Earth Without An iPod made a decision that shook him to his very concept of what it meant to be human and who he himself was: he clicked I Want One!

The Last Man On Earth Currently Waiting For His iPod To Arrive stood on his lonely beach and looked out toward civilization. Maybe, he mused, the deliveryperson would be cute.
Warranty: 90 days Woot

Features:

• Store up to 5, 000 of your favorite songs on the high-capacity 20GB hard drive
• Pop it in your pocket for easy transport
• Compact – weighs just 5.6 oz., is only .57” thick, 2.4” wide, and 4.1” high
• Ensure easy viewing of the display with the backlighting and illuminated Click Wheel
• Transfer tunes to your Apple iPod at lightning-fast speeds with USB 2.0
• organize your music collection, then transfer back to your iPod
• Easily select songs with the touch-sensitive Click Wheel
• Charge the battery while transferring music between your PC and iPod
• Enjoy up to 12 hours of playback with the rechargeable Lithium-Ion battery
• Browse songs available for purchase in the Apple iTunes Music Store

Specifications:

• 4th Generation iPod
• Storage: 20GB
• Battery life: up to 12 hours
• Skip protection: 25 minutes
• Display: 2-inch (diagonal) grayscale LCD with LED backlight
• Charge time: 4 hours (2-hour fast charge to 80% capacity)
• Size: 4.1” x 2.4” x 0.57”
• Weight: 5.6 ounces
• Color: White
• Touch sensitive scroll wheel and Buttons
• Macintosh and Windows compatible
• O/S Support: Mac OS X; Windows 2000 with Service Pack 4 or Windows XP Home or Professional
• Supplied Accessories: USB 2.0 Cable; Earbud headphones

Audio formats supported:

• AAC (128 to 320 Kbps)
• MP3 (32 to 320 Kbps)
• MP3 VBR
• Audible
• AIFF
• Apple Lossless
• WAV

Wait, wait – you’re not still walking around with a Bluetooth headset on just one
ear, are you? Wow. Man. Really? Because all the cool kids these days
are two-earing it. I mean, if you only wear your headset on one ear,
people standing on the other side of you don’t know you’re a ‘toother.
You’re only reaching half of your audience.

Not only does the
Kyocera Bluetooth Stereo Headset bring your mobile calls and wireless
music to both of your ears, it lets everybody in a 360-degree radius
know that you’re caught up in the Bluetooth zeitgeist. It features
touch controls for answering calls, listening to MP3s, and switching
between the two – just give ‘em a poke or two to make yourself even
more conspicuous. There’s no point to wearing a Bluetooth headset if
you can’t show it off to as many people as possible. With the Kyocera TXCKT10161 Bluetooth Stereo Headset, now there are two sides to every ‘tooth.

Warranty: One Year Manufacturer

Specifications:

• Seamlessly switch from listening to music to answering a call at the touch of a button
• Works with all music A2DP handsets and MP3 compatible devices (3.5mm adapter sold separately)
• Built-in controls to move forward or back on the play list
• Voice Recognition dialing and one-touch redial
• Music Control at the touch of a button
• Bluetooth Spec: 1.2
• Weight: 51 grams
• Talk time: Up to 15 hours
• Standby time: Up to 300 hours
• Profile: A2DP, Handsfree, headset
• Convenient adjustable neckband to position the device for greater comfort
• Up to 15 hours talk time and 300 hours standby
• Compliant with Bluetooth® v1.2 devices
• Includes USB charger

Some gifts just keep on taking. You know what we mean: the kind of
well-intentioned present that burdens the recipient with the obligation
to pay for its upkeep, or put a lot of work into maintaining it. The
kind of gift that makes you wish the giver had forgotten your birthday
– like, say, a koala bear, or a build-your-own-particle-accelerator
kit, or an abandoned factory site polluted with benzene hexachloride.
Uh, thanks for finding a new way to squander my precious time and
resources, but no thanks.

That’s why we don’t recommend giving the Timex XM Satellite
Series Alarm Clock Radio to anyone you care about, unless you throw in
a pile of cash to pay for the XM subscription (not included, we’re
saying). See, it’s a perfectly good alarm clock. Big display. Dual
alarm. Audio-wise, it’s got a handy line-in for an iPod or another MP3
player, and a line-out jack for external speakers, if you need a few
extra decibels to rouse you from your slumbers. Even though it does
include an external XM antenna (normally about fifty bucks), it can
live a long, productive life without ever receiving XM signal one.

But
chances are your recipient will feel obligated to activate the XM
radio, especially if that recipient is, like, your grandma: “Oh, that
was so nice, to give me this satellite radio. It’d be rude to not use
it.” So she’ll sign up, and at first it’ll be fine, but she’ll grow to
resent the constant expense, and one day she’ll tune into “Ethel”
because she thinks it has something to do with Ethel Merman but she’ll
hear the Yeah Yeah Yeahs instead, poor dear, and your grandma will hate
you, and then where will you be?

Buy the Timex XM Satellite Series Alarm Clock Radio for yourself. Leave your poor grandma alone.

Warranty: One year

Features & Benefits:

• Clock Stereo –
  Full-function large display dual alarm clock can get you going in the
  mornings. Wake to XM radio, FM/AM or your favorite play lists on your MP3 player.
• XM-Ready – features over 150 digital channels with XM Satellite Radio that gives you the power to choose what you want to hear, wherever and whenever you want it.
• Digital Audio Input – Connect and play your MP3 player or iPod.
• Satellite Sync Time – Automatically sets the time to provide accurate time.
• Sound Quality – Reson8 chambered speaker technology delivers astounding clarity, depth and power.
• 20-Song Memory – Keep track of artist and song titles so you can hear all of your favorite tunes.
• Connect-and-Play
  Antenna – Fully integrated receiver and antenna combination is the only
  component needed to provide the full XM experience through any XM-ready
  home or portable audio system.

Additional Features:

• Sleek, low-profile design looks great on any nightstand
• Dual alarm for individual wake times
• Perfect for desktop or office speaker system
• Sleep to XM/FM/AM or Aux/MP3 line-in
• Wake to buzzer or your XM/FM/AM station of choice
• Sure alarm battery back up
• Includes remote and XM antenna ($ 50 value)
• Aux/MP3 line-in/line-out
• Stereo headphone jack
• Dimensions: 13.0”W x 8”H x 7”D
• 25’ cable length: Includes 25 feet of cable and an integrated stand for easy placement
• Note: Requires XM satellite radio subscription. Not for use with XM-ready automotive systems
• Easy installation: No power cords, audio cables or additional accessories required

The super-rich, the ultra-famous, they’re different from you and me. You think they’d settle for some off-the-rack alarm clock like today’s Timex XM Satellite Series Alarm Clock Radio? You think they wake up to the same Morning Zoos and buzz-buzzes as the rest of us. Not on your life. They’d hire a color consultant, interior designer, osteopath, musical director, robotics engineer, and Kabbalah advisor to devise the perfect wake-up tool for their exalted selves, and then do it all over again two months later when they convert to Zoroastrianism. Since these alarm clocks remain hidden behind a veil of utmost secrecy, it’s up to you to make stuff up. Your challenge:

Show us a famous person’s alarm clock.

They can be living or dead, real or fictional, attractive or homely. And “alarm clock” can be interpreted loosely. If Gerry Cooney needs a couple of left hooks to the jaw to wake up, or Whitney Houston will only rouse to the aroma of burning crack, we’d say that counts. Just do it well, lads ‘n’ lassies.

Post your entry here by 11:59 PM CDT on Monday, September 3, 2007 (on accounta the holiday ‘n’ all).
Prizes are $20/$50/$100 for 3rd/2nd/1st. The rules and criteria for
winning: our panel of geniuses can and will make stuff up as it goes
along. Use Photoshop, pen and ink, collage, MSPaint, scrimshaw carving,
tattoos, ice sculpture, whatever, but it’ll only be judged if it’s
visible in our forums as a jpg, gif, or png. As we are fond of saying, try to keep your maximum
width to 450px. If you need a place to host your pictures, try www.imageshack.ws or www.photobucket.com.
We have no connection to either, but they seem free and easy to use.
And if you want us to be sure your entry was indeed your work, post
links to your source images. The more sure we are that you did your own
work, the more likely we are to consider it for a prize.

Past money winners:
If you’d like to nominate any entries from this week’s contest, email
your selections (with links to each individual post) to Jason Toon at jtoon@woot.com by noon CDT on Tuesday, September 4.

x

Warranty: One year

Features:

• Hyundai Heavy Duty Series 19.2v Cordless Drill with 2 Batteries
• Heavy Duty 19.2 Volt, Two speed Drill (Bright Red)
• Jacobs Chuck
• 24 Torque Positions
• 1.2 Amps
• 6 Drill bits and 6 screwdriver bits

Technical Details

• Metal Shaft
• Hard Case
• RPM (0-350, 0-1100)

Rejected concepts for the Seiko SUJ055 Ladies Bracelet Style Stainless Steel and Goldtone Watch product description:

• song lyrics parodying Peter Gabriel’s “Biko” as “Seiko”
• in honor of the stainless steel band: short fiction about how Terry Bradshaw and Franco Harris like to wear pretty watches, too
• a
  fake encyclopedia article about “blueface”, an archaic genre of
  vaudeville featuring white performers portraying exaggerated
  caricatures of smurfs
• a phony manifesto of the Quartz
  Movement calling for “precision for the people” and “liberation from
  the system’s sloppy timekeeping”
• some kind of rap or poem or something, that’s always easy
• a
  story about a guy getting mugged while scuba diving, and this watch
  breaking when the mugger flees to depths greater than 30 meters
• song lyrics parodying Burl Ives’s “Silver and Gold” as “Steel and Goldtone”
• a list of rejected concepts for the Seiko SUJ055 Ladies
  Bracelet Style Stainless Steel and Goldtone Watch product description –
  oh, wait, this belongs on the list of concepts that should’ve been rejected

Warranty: 90 day Woot

Specifications:

• Polished Two tone stainless steel case and bracelet
• Blue dial with gold tone hands
• Scratch resistant Hardlex crystal
• Precise Quartz movement
• Jewelry clasp
• Water resistant to 30m
• Case measures 19mm wide by 5mm thick.

Wait, wait, why are you clicking that button? Don’t click! You don’t want this junk. Seriously, clicking that I WANT ONE button is a one-way ticket to disappointment and shame. You’ll cram a few useless clumps of consumer flotsam into your life, be out like eight bucks, and for what? For what? What is the sound of one hand crapping?

If you must proceed, CHECK THIS OUT. Somebody misunderstands this concept every time, so please READ THE BIG PRINT:

1. WHEN YOU ORDER THIS ITEM, YOU’RE ORDERING ONE (1) BAG WITH up to THREE (3) PIECES OF CRAP IN IT.

2. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR SELECTING THE QUANTITY: THREE WHEN YOU ORDER.

3. YOU WILL WASTE FREIGHT IF YOU ORDER FEWER THAN THREE. And you’ll get less crap. Wait, why is that bad again? Do you people really need more crap?

You’re only getting one bag, no matter what. The order quantity you
select is the number of crappy items we’ll put in your bag. Select THREE.
Later, you’ll enjoy the satisfaction of taunting the surprisingly large
number of less observant Wooters who ordered less than THREE.

As usual, we promise nothing about the quality or the desirability
of these bags or their contents, except to promise that their quality
will be low and their desirability will be non-existent. The best quantity you could possibly order would be ZERO.

THE HOLY CRAP COMMANDMENTS v2.0:

I. Thou shalt expect nothing beyond one bag of some kind and your chosen quantity of crappy items (which should be THREE).

II. Thou shalt not whine and complain when some people’s crap turns out to be nicer than yours.

III. Thou shalt take a moment to consider whether you might be better off just not buying this crap.

IV. Thou shalt not order just one crap and blame it on anything but your own inattention.

V. To paraphrase Stephen Stills, shalt thou not get the crap you want, want the crap you get.

• The crap will be shipped via SmartPost, the crappiest shipping method available to us.

You can tell by the song in your heart and the pungent aroma in your
nostrils: National Catfish Month is here! Every August, a nation drops
to its knees before the altar of the slimy fish-god. Children stay up
late hoping to catch a glimpse of the Phantom Catfish making his
rounds, and thousands of the whiskered, scaleless bottom-feeders are
ritually slain and eaten in a bloody orgy of bilge and batter. Here’s
how the Pinnacle PCTV To Go can make your National Catfish Month celebrations even fishier:

• PCTV To
  Go lets you watch your fishing shows in HD on any PC anywhere in the
  world. You haven’t seen noodling until you’ve seen noodling in
  high-definition. Bring your laptop out to the lake with you for total
  hi-def catfish overload!
• Even better, PCTV To Go’s PVR-style
  functions let you pause and rewind to savor the “money shots” – those
  moments of supreme catfish ecstasy when the gasping, thrashing beast is
  hauled into the boat.
• Not compatible with Macs – which is great, because Mac people hate catfish people. So screw them!
• Easy wireless setup gives you more time for eating, catching, thinking about, and drawing pictures of catfish.
• When somebody scoffs because the PCTV To Go has no HDMI, bet them ten catfish that component cables carry an HD signal just fine. You’ll win – then, hey, free catfish!
• Take your PCTV To
  Go unit, turn the Wi-Fi antennae so they jut out to the side, and glue
  on a couple of googly eyes. Presto! You’ve got yourself a whimsical
  replica catfish head.
• Got a Jewish friend who can’t eat catfish because catfish aren’t kosher (Leviticus 11:10)? Give him or her a Pinnacle PCTV To Go so he or she doesn’t feel left out of all the fun.
• Record the 2007 Miss Catfish Pageant for your personal archives. Our money’s on Miss Tennessee again this year.
• If you’re pretty handy with technology stuff, you can offer to help other people with the PCTV To Go’s tricky Windows Media Center setup, in exchange for – you guessed it – sweet, sweet catfish.
• Use the Pinnacle PCTV To Go as bait on your next fishing trip. Catfish cannot resist the convenience of wireless, HD TV on their PCs.
• We dunno, trade it for catfish or something? Sell it and use the money to buy catfish? We’re running out of creative steam here.

You
get the idea. National Catfish Month is the time to cook catfish every
which way but loose: fry it, broil it, bake it in bread, put it on
pizza, whip it into a smoothie. But as delicious as those ideas are,
we’ll take our catfish with a side of Pinnacle PCTV To Go.

Warranty: One year

Features:

• Connect PCTV to go HD to your Cable Box, Satellite dish, Tivo, DVR then you can take your TV with you.
• Enjoy your home HDTV or SDTV
  programming wherever you are, at the office, a hotel room, other rooms
  of your home or anywhere there is an Internet connection
• Works with existing A/V components and PC technologies
• Allows you to pause, rewind and record your favorite TV shows
• No set-up or monthly service fees
• Watch and control TV in full screen MPEG-2 DVD like quality in and around your home on your PC
• Watch and control high-quality MPEG-4 TV content remotely anywhere in the world on an Internet connected PC
• Wireless set-up makes installation of PCTV To Go a breeze
• Control all your TV features from your PC – remotely change channels, Video sources, and even control your home Digital Video Recorder
• Wirelessly communicates to your existing network or directly to your wireless PC
• Pause and rewind live TV or record your favorite TV shows with the included PCTV To Go Player
• Works as a TV source within a wirelessly connected Microsoft Media Center Edition equipped PC (also compatible with Windows Vista Home Premium)

Minimum System Requirements:

• Microsoft Windows Vista, XP Home or Pro, or XP Media Center Edition w/ SP2 or higher
• Computer with minimum Pentium or Athlon 1GHz or higher (1.5GHz or higher recommended)
• 512MB RAM (1GB RAM for Windows Vista Home Premium and Ultimate)
• Disk space: 75MB to install PCTV To Go software; at least 500MB for time-shifting ; 10 GB recommended for recording
• Wireless LAN 802.11g adapter (for wireless configuration and operations)
• Available RJ-45 Ethernet port on PC or LAN (for wired configuration and operation)
• Wireless LAN 802.11g adapter (for wireless configuration and operations)
• DirectX® 9 or higher compatible sound card (M-Audio® or Creative® Audigy® recommended)
• DVD burner for creating DVDs
• CD or DVD burner for creating CDs

Hardware Inputs/Outputs:

• Component Video
• Composite Video
• S-Video
• Stereo Audio

Video and TV Sources Inputs & Outputs:

• Digital Cable Set Top Box
• Digital Video Recorder
• Satellite Receiver
• DVD Player/VCR/Camcorder

Package Contents:

• Pinnacle PCTV To Go HD Wireless hardware
• WiFi 802.11g Antennas (2)
• Composite Video and Stereo Audio Cable
• IR Blaster Cable for remote control
• AC Adapter (100-240V 50-60Hz)
• Pinnacle PCTV To Go Quick Start Guide
• Pinnacle PCTV To Go CD-ROM

Good afternoon. I come before you today to assure the American
people that this administration understands and shares their concerns
about privacy. We realize that this product’s name may set off alarm
bells with certain terrori- er, civil-liberties advocates, but let us
state clearly and unequivocally: the law-abiding public has nothing to
fear from the Aerielle AudioBUG.

Specifically, the AudioBUG
FM-4100 is merely a wireless headphone that includes an FM receiver,
which receives high-fidelity stereo signals from the AudioBUG AB-250
transmitter, from up to 15 feet away. Neither device records every word
you say and transmits it back to an FBI
listening post. Nor do they allow federal agents to track your
whereabouts, movements, activities, finances, or biorhythms. And they
emphatically do not contain a “doomsday node” that causes the user’s
head to explode when an agent pushes a button in a secure facility at
an undisclosed location. The name “AudioBUG” is merely an unfortunate
happenstance, not an indicator of its true purpose. Of course, if it
was a bugging and tracking device, that information would be
classified, and we would be unable to reveal it. Just take our word for
it. Would your government lie to you?

Warranty: 90 Days

Specifications:

• Size: Headphone – 7 3/8×6 3/16 in 
• Ear: cushion outside – 2 7/8×2 3/8 in
• Weight: 5.1 ounces (2 AAA batteries included)
• Battery: 2 AAA
• Battery Life: Approx. 20 hrs.
• Compatibility: FM stereo receiver
• Frequency Response (Measured, -9dB): <10 Hz. to >15 kHz.
• Signal to Noise Ratio (measured): >55 dB
• Total Harmonic Distortion: 0.3% Typical
• Frequencies (4): 88.1, 88.3, 88.5, 88.7 MHz.

Wen, in te course of uman events, it becomes necessary for one person
to dissolve te bond between traditional keyboard and owner, and get
imself or erself a new keyboard, it is ten tat Woot must step in and
offer te Logitec Deluxe Desktop SeaGrey. Te Logitec
Deluxe Desktop SeaGrey package includes a spillproof,
sock-resistant keyboard with extra strong keycaps, someting tat can be
very important to proper-tinking Americans, determined to trow off te
tyranny of te breaking of te key between te g and te j. In addition, te
Logitec Deluxe Desktop SeaGrey also comes with a weel
mouse, tat can be a valued addition to your computing experience.
Follow me, my friends, into te new dawn were all our letters are equal
and functional wit te Logitec Deluxe Desktop SeaGrey. Tank
you from te bottom of my eart.
Warranty: 90 day Woot

Features:

• Deluxe Keyboard and 3-button Optical mouse.
• Soft Touch Keys
• Spill Proof Design
• Logitech Black logo on keyboard and mouse, PC Industry Standard Color.
• Palm Rest

Connectors

• Mouse : PS/2
• Keyboard: PS/2
• IBM or compatible system
• Windows 98, ME, NT, 2000, XP
• Available PS/2 port for the keyboard and PS/2 adaptor for the mouse

You’re in luck, you’ll fall in love
Got a PhotoSmart camera of
6 megapixels, never too much
Hi-res photos with only one touch
Now digital photography
Isn’t just for the bourgeoisie
Such clarity, priced so lowly
A cheapskate shutterbug’s fantasy

Oh, look at this 3x optical zoom
Oh, look at this zoom
You gotta have one

PhotoSmart – Yes you want one
PhotoSmart – Yes you need one
PhotoSmart – All you need is a hundred bucks
Yeah that’s enough

It’ll be your camera, if you can pay
Put in your batteries of double-A
Such a camera, the M-five-two-five
Makes a photographer of man or child, whoa
See your pics on the LCD
One-point-seven inches from HP
Sixteen megs of memory
Need more? Just put in your own SD

Oh, look at this 7x digital zoom
Oh, look at this zoom
You gotta have one

PhotoSmart – Yes you want one
PhotoSmart – Yes you need one
PhotoSmart – All you need is a hundred bucks
To put one straight in your hand

PhotoSmart – You’ll fall in love
PhotoSmart – You’ll fall in love
PhotoSmart – Hi-res pics, yeah
PhotoSmart – Only one touch

Warranty: One year

Features:

• 6-megapixels for impressive resolution for beautiful prints and enlargements up to poster-size
• HP Precision 3x optical lens and 7x digital zoom for 21x total zoom
• 1.7-inch image display, intuitive button layout and overall compact stylish design allow for easy one-handed shots
• 16 MB internal memory allows users to store photos in the camera
• On-camera button to easily order and share photos on Snapfish using HP Photosmart Express
• Extra storage capacity available with optional SD card
• HP Photosmart Software is a complete, easy-to-use software solution for editing, organizing, printing and sharing digital photos
• Shooting Programs: Landscape, portrait mode, action, macro, beach snow, night portrait, sunset
• Flash Modes: Fill-in mode, auto mode, flash OFF mode, red-eye reduction
• Lens Type: 6mm-18mm Zoom lens – f 2.8-4.8 Automatic
• Light Sensitivity: ISO 100, ISO 400, ISO 200, ISO auto
• Max Shutter Speed: 1/1000 sec
• Min Shutter Speed: 2 sec
• Exposure Metering: Center-weighted
• Exposure Modes: Program, automatic
• Still Image Format: JPEG
• Continuous Shooting Speed: 2 frames per second
• Self Timer: Yes
• Connector Type: 1 x USB
• Supported Battery: 2 x AA alkaline battery (included)
• Dimensions: 3.7 x 1.2 x 2.4

Well, you can tell by the way I charge my gear
I’m a travelin’ man – nothing to fear
AC power and DC, too
My Vector gizmo provides the juice
Now it’s all right, it’s OK
You can charge your batter-ay
If you can keep close at hand
This Traveler’s Power Station

Whether you need AC, DC, or USB
You’re stayin’ charged, stayin’ charged
Feel the power flowing, your gadgets keep going
‘Cause they’re stayin’ charged, stayin’ charged
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ charged, stayin’ charged
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ charged

Well, the power’s low when your use is high
Your phone or MP3 player dies
Put this Power Station in your suitcase
Kick out the voltage anyplace
You know it’s all right, it won’t hurt
If you got the power to invert
If you can keep close at hand
This Traveler’s Power Station

Whether you need AC, DC, or USB
You’re stayin’ charged, stayin’ charged
Feel the power flowing, your gadgets keep going
‘Cause they’re stayin’ charged, stayin’ charged
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ charged, stayin’ charged
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ charged

Somebody help me, my battery’s dying
Somebody help me, yeah
I’m going somewhere, I need some voltage
Somebody help me, yeah

Warranty: One-Year Manufacturer

Specifications:

• 2 sealed rechargeable batteries(included)
• Battery charge level indicator
• Power switch
• 110 volt AC outlet
• Power LED indicator
• USB port
• AC recharging port
• 12 volt DC power output
• Carry case with shoulder strap
• 12 volt DC car cord and an AC household charger for recharging this portable power unit.

Features include:

• Made by Vector, a Black and Decker Company
• 100 watt AC power inverter
• 12v 6Ah battery
• Automatic low battery shutdown-below 10.6 volts- to prevent damage to your equipment, auto reset when voltage is over 10.6v
• Automatic shut down when shirt circuit occurs, auto-resets when short circuit removed
• USB port delivers 5v DC, 0.5 amp max

The way a Cro-Magnon man sees it, the $20 ATI Radeon X600SE 128mb PCI Express Video Card does everything a fancy $200 card does. Our protohuman pal wouldn’t trouble himself with arcane minutiae like vertex shaders and contour fluency – or computers, for that matter. He’d look over the Radeon X600SE, either clutch the shiny bauble to his chest or fling it away in superstitious terror, and go on about his nasty, brutish, short life.

There’s much to envy in the relaxed Cro-Magnon approach to video cards. For one thing, it’s cheaper. A pampered modern homo like you might simper about how the ATI Radeon X600SE 128mb PCI Express Video Card probably isn’t that much of an upgrade over your onboard video, and how it can’t play the latest games at the highest levels of graphics quality, and so you simply must spend a few days’ wages on a more expensive option.

Hey, whatever tweaks your pixels. But consider this: while you’re oohing and aahing over marginally more convincing on-screen blood-splatters, that Cro-Magnon is having a hot time in the old town with all the money he saved, supping upon the finest raw meat, bludgeoning his enemies with the latest and l33t35t club, and slipping dollar bills into the loincloths of prehistoric exotic dancers. Who’s the advanced one here?

Warranty: 90 days

Features:

• Native x16 lane PCI Express
• Double the bandwidth of AGP 8X
• Increased memory bandwidth to 12 Gigabytes/sec.
• Four extreme parallel 3D rendering pixel pipelines
• Two programmable vertex shader pipelines
• 128-bit memory interface supporting 128MB DDR1 memory
• Full DirectX® 9 support
• Includes DVI-to-VGA adapter

We find mice
We find mice
Sell them to you
Sell them to you
The PilotMouse Optical Pro, just for one
With DiamondEye tech, it’s made by Kensington
It’s got five programmable quick-click buttons
We find mice

We find mice
We find mice
Like this one here
Like this one here
Its USB cable retracts, which is neat
The perfect addition to your desktop suite
But don’t try to feed it to your snake as meat
And the fact that you would even consider that makes us wonder whether
you should have pets at all, let alone reptiles, which require
specialized care

Warranty: 90 day Woot

Specifications:

• DiamondEye optical technology
  responds to your fastest movements with accurate tracking and precise
  guidance on virtually any surface
• Adjustable-length USB cable is retractable; eliminates all tangled cords
• Works right out of the box on both PCs and Macs
• Comfort and performance of an optical desktop mouse with compact size and carrying convenience

Technical Details:

• Model number: 72218
• Compatibility: PC, Mac
• System requirements (PC): Windows 98 or later; available USB 2.0/1.1 port
• System requirements (Mac): Mac OS x or later; available USB 2.0/1.1 port
• Interface: USB 2.0/1.1
• Movement detection: Optical

   

  

Sign up for a year of TiVo service and receive a $170 rebate – the equivalent of getting this TiVo free, plus $35 towards your service contract.

Look,
it’s time we had a talk. We’re worried about you, and we can’t just sit
here while you destroy yourself, while you waste your life trapped in a
squalid cycle of degradation. Please, for the sake of those who love
you: stop watching TV commercials.

The average American
watches about 2.5 hours of television every day. About 40 of those
minutes are taken up by TV commercials. Multiply that by 50 years, and
commercials will have destroyed over 500 days of your adult life.
Remember that when you’re on your deathbed wishing you could spend one
more day with your grandkids.

There is a way out. You’re not alone. To fight
this epidemic of slow TV death, Woot and TiVo have teamed up to make a
limited number of TiVo R54080 Series2 80
Hour Digital Video Recorders available to victims of TV commercial syndrome, for a special
sufferer’s price. And if you buy one and sign up for a year of TiVo
service, you’re eligible for a $170 rebate, which will pay for the TiVo itself plus two month’s worth of service. We just wish we could do more.

And we haven’t even mentioned
the time you waste sitting through one show because you’re waiting for
the next one, or watching some random garbage on TV because nothing
good is on. Perhaps it’s best that no statistics are available about
this more insidious form of time-drain – the full horror would be too
overwhelming.

We dream of a world where anyone can dial up the latest episode of Age of Love or UFC Unleashed any time, day or night…where a handicapped child can watch an entire episode of The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
in 22 minutes…where agonized Chicago Cubs fans can process their pain
by repeated slo-mo viewings of whatever bizarre misplay keeps them out
of the World Series next time. We say to that lonely adolescent boy in
the heartland, struggling with new, unfamiliar feelings: “Never again
will you miss a Cinemax After Hours feature presentation.” We say, to
those still scarred by the “smunchy” disaster: “Never again.”

You
will watch what you want to watch, when you want to watch it, and
nothing more. But we can’t do it alone. You have to want help. The road
back will be long and rough and littered with those who didn’t make it.
But with TiVo and Woot by your side, hope is more than just a currently
unfashionable girl’s name. Together, we can beat this thing.

Warranty: One year Tivo

Features:

• Award-winning features that automatically record your favorite shows-whenever they’re on
• A
  search engine to find and automatically record the shows that match
  your interests (by title, actor, director, category, even keyword)
• Easy
  home networking features that enable online services like Podcasts,
  Yahoo! Weather & Traffic, and local movie listings & tickets
  from Fandango
• Easy-to-use to-go features that let you transfer shows to your laptop or portable device, or easily burn them to DVD
• Scheduling last-minute shows from the Web
• Find
  everything you want in the world of broadcast and broadband television
  from TiVo with a single, powerful search. Have fun swiveling through
  the world of entertainment by clicking your way through an interrelated
  web of shows and content.
• Rather than burning a DVD
  the conventional way, and mailing it to family and friends, it’s now
  possible to share home movies by having a private TiVo channel of your
  own. Simply upload your video footage to One True Media, get a channel
  code, share it with friends and bingo – It’s on TV.
• Gets
  you every episode of all your favorite shows (minus the repeats). Just
  tell the TiVo service you like the Sopranos, and – bada-bing – every
  episode is there for you to see, whenever you want to see it.
• Into home improvement projects? Enter words like “KITCHEN REMODEL”
  and it works like a search engine to find programs, features, or
  anything at all to do with creating your dream kitchen. How great is
  that?
• Never miss a favorite movie or one-time-only program. Schedule last-minute recordings from the Web!
• Enjoy
  more than just TV with your broadband connection. Easily access
  Internet radio, podcasts, movie times & tickets, Yahoo! Weather
  & Traffic, and share digital photos. Plus, schedule last-minute
  recordings from the web… and much more
• With two or more
  TiVo® boxes you can enjoy Multi-Room Viewing-record a show in the
  living room and play it back in the bedroom – or vice versa.
• Leaving
  town? Take your shows with you! TiVoToGo™ offers unprecedented
  portability enabling you to transfer recorded shows from your TiVo box
  to your laptop or favorite portable devices.
• In the market
  for a new car? Planning your dream vacation? In search of the perfect
  dish? Product Watch, the newest TiVo service feature, can help. Just
  choose the products, services, or even brands that interest you and
  Product Watch will automatically find and deliver relevant video clips
  straight to your Now Playing List.

Specifications:

• Tivo service activation and minimum 1-year service plan required for rebate
• Early termination fee and other restrictions apply – see pdf
• Broadband internet connectio