Agent Derek Rand looked up from the cold Eqyptian marble he found
beneath his face. Mr. Huge was above him, smiling, martini in hand.

“You see, Mr. Rand, we are not without courtesy.” Rand took the drink before he rose to his feet.

“Where
is Solitaire?” Rand tried to sound steady; his head still felt like a
coal miner’s pension in 1985. Mr. Huge laughed, rich and thick, like a
pimp’s carpet.

“You mean The Targus TLB005US Solitaire
Backpack Notebook Case?” Mr. Huge gestured across the room to where she
stood against the wall. “She works for me, my friend. She always has.”

“You monster!”

“No,
Mr. Rand, quite the contrary. For was I not gentleman enough to let you
sample her front flap with business card holder? Did I not give you a
night to learn her key clip, her pen loops, her pocket for airline
tickets? But her detachable mobile phone case, my good friend, it was
never something you could keep. Now she and I are off to meet Baron
Samedi and close our little… deal. You I leave to my guards and their
fine Russian weapons. Come, Solitai-”

But the swift knife
silenced Mr. Huge before he could finish. Mr. Huge looked with surprise
as the life ran down the front of his tuxedo. The Targus TLB005US Solitaire Backpack Notebook Case watched as he fell, not once letting go of her cold metal blade.

“Why did you do it?” Derek Rand asked as she walked to him, stepping over the body and dropping the knife.

“Before
you, Mr. Rand, I never knew just how far my bonus file folder section
could open. I never knew about my back zip pocket for additional paperwork.”

“Solitaire,” Rand smiled through his fingertips, “I think I’m about to reopen a case.”

Warranty:  Limited lifetime

Specifications:

• Capacity - Padded notebook compartment designed for notebooks with up to 15.4” screens
• Convertible – Features hide-away padded backpack straps to switch between a vertical carrying case and a backpack
• Organization - Front flap includes business card holder, key clip, pen loops, a pocket for airline tickets, detachable mobile phone case, bonus file folder section and a back zip pocket for additional accessories
• Comfort – Removable shoulder strap for carrying convenience
• Quality Materials – Two-tone black nylon and microfiber
• Color - Black, pink highlights
• Device Compatibility -  14.33″ x 11.81″ x 1.69″
• Exterior Dimensions -  13″ x 4″ x 15.75″
• Exterior Material - Nylon/Microfiber
• Warranty -  Limited Lifetime Warranty
• Weight  - 2.93 lbs

Some believe that DVDs are locked permanently into one resolution,
forever condemned to a mere 852×480. Why bother helping these videos with
expensive taxpayer-funded programs, they argue, when lifting them out
of their DVD-resolution ghetto is beyond anyone’s power? Why raise their
hopes of something higher-res in life, when those hopes have already
been cruelly dashed by destiny and genetics?

By contrast, the Toshiba HD Upconverting Progressive Scan DVD Player believes that no movie should be left behind. With an optimistic spirit and an HDMI
output, it’s determined to uplift, upraise, and upconvert your DVDs to
pseudo-HD standards. It’s not enough to simply throw up our hands and complain that “we don’t have enough pixels”; the Toshiba Upconverting DVD Player insists that we can find the pixels - nay, that we must. Can it really bring these benighted DVDs up to 720p/1080i, after
so many years of oppression? The results of this noble experiment
remain to be seen, but there’s one thing all observers can agree on:
the results of this noble experiment remain to be seen.

Whether
or not the upconversion program makes a real difference, this Toshiba
player extends its big-tent, multiformatalist attitude to all God’s
media. It’s Divx-certified and MP3-friendly, ready for your CDs, CD-R/RWs, and DVD-R/RWs. For those without HD TVs,
it also offers all the requisite analog outputs. In short, it strives
for a world where all video files have the potential to be
high-definition, if only they’re given a chance to upconvert. Won’t you
join the Toshiba HD Upconverting Progressive Scan DVD Player in turning this beautiful vision into reality?

Warranty: 90 days

Features:

• HDMI output - High-Definition Multimedia Interface (cable included)
• Digital video upconversion with 720p/1080i output via HDMI
• ColorStream Pro® Component Video Output
• Digital Cinema Progressive scan with 3:2 Pulldown
• Optical and coaxial digital outputs for Dolby Digital, DTS, PCM
• Divx certified for DivX 3.11, 4.12 and 5x as well as DivX PRO
• Audio support for MP3, AC-3 (2ch and 5.1), WMA, LCPM, ADPCM and Ogg Vorbis
• 24-Bit/192kHz Audio D/A Converter
• 3-D Virtual Surround
• Plays DVD-Video discs, and DVD-Rs & DVD-RWs
• Plays CDs, CD-Rs & CD-RWs, and MP3 & WMA CDs
• Plays digital picture CDs (JPEG)
• Includes remote control and 6′ HDMI cable
• 27MHz/10-bit video DAC
• 192MHz/24-bit audio DAC
• Dimensions: 17”W x 1-11/16”H x 9-1/4”D

Outputs

• HDMI™: 1
• Y/Pr/Pb: 1 set
• S-Video: 1
• RCA-Video: 1
• L-R Audio: 1
• Coaxial Out: 1
• Optical Out: 1

Box Contents:

• SD-K860 DVD player
• 6′ HDMI Cable
• Remote control
• Owners manual

It was bound to happen. They kept making iPods littler and littler
and littler, until finally some perceptive Goldilocks piped up to say
“this screen is too small!” There’s no pleasing some folks.

Well, don’t despair, Baby Bear: Here comes jWin’s Z1055 Zeon DVD/video player for iPod—seven inches of sleek, sexy, 16:9 TFT LCD.
With a built-in dock for 30GB and 60GB iPod video, this tablet-style
player sits right in your lap and bathes you in the comforting
radiation of your favorite entertainments.

Lash it to the
seat back in front of you with the included strap. Or pull it into your
lap; it’s as loveable as a widdle baby kitten. Whatever your chosen
viewing angle, one thing’s easy to see: This is the portable movie
screen that’ll win you over to movies on the go.

Warranty: 90 days

Features for Your iPod:

• Play back video from your iPod through the 7 inch widescreen (16:9 aspect ratio) TFT LCD
• Charge your iPod with video (The included power adapters must be connected to the main unit)
• Integrated dock for your iPod with video (30GB, 60GB)

Features for DVD Player:

• Play back DVD through the 7 inch widescreen (16:9 aspect ratio) TFT LCD
• Watch your favorite video on TV through S-Video output
• Enhanced User Interface with detailed controls
• Featured with convenient OSD (On-Screen Display)
• Multi subtitle, angle, and audio functions
• Slow and fast motion playback and zoom operation
• Supports 3-Way power sources for DVD Player:
  10V AC Power Adapter
  12V Cigarette Lighter Adapter
  Built-in Ni-MH Rechargeable Battery
• Playable Media: DVD, VCD, Audio CD, MP3 CD
• 2.1 Channel Speaker System for VCD, DVD and Other Audio Devices
• Battery Playing Time: Approximately 2.5 hours

Inputs & Outputs:

• Video Input & Output Jack
• Audio Input & Output Jack
• S-Video Output Jack
• Two 3.5mm Stereo Headphone Jacks
• Audio Output: 2×0.5W (Total 1 Watt RMS)

Box Contents:

• Main Unit
• Instruction manual
• Strap for car-seat display
• Full-function remote control
• Cigarette lighter adapter
• AV cable
• AC
  adapter
• High quality carrying case
• Stereo Headphones

Words? There are no words to explain the joy that comes from the Tokyo Flash Men’s Star Performer Watch.

We
were very happy with the four columns of numbers. The watch lights them
up to show the time. So 11:53pm would be 1-1-5-3, and you can set it to
military time to get 2-3-5-3 if you want. We’ve opened one up already,
eagerly waiting for how it will look next Tuesday at 99 O’Clock. It’s
very exciting to see it in action and not that hard to read.

But
the gem of this Tokyo Flash Men’s Star Performer Watch are the icons.
There are four icons, Clock, Sun, $ and Martini. This is why you’re
going to buy the watch.

The Clock icon is the “Time”. If
it’s PM, the Martini will light up as well, letting you know it is okay
to drink. Watches aren’t always this courteous.

The Sun is
the “Day And Date”. The number columns take care of this too. This gets
a little tricky, but we think the days of the week are on the left,
like a calendar, and then the actual date right next to them. So Friday
the 7th would appear as 6-0-7. It would take a little getting used to
but it isn’t that hard, when you think about it.

Now it gets good.

The
$ represents “Year”. The $ means you should be making more money each
year. That’s it, that’s why there is a dollar sign on your watch. It
warms the heart.

And then there’s “Pimp Mode”. In “Pimp Mode”, the whole thing goes crazy like ELO crashed into P-Funk. Every light flashes and blinks, and it automatically turns on at 7:00pm and goes until 1:00am. IT CANNOT BE TURNED OFF UNTIL ONE IN THE MORNING.
Even after that, if you press the time display button between 1:00am
and 7:00pm, it will light up, once a minute, for twelve minutes. That’s
“Pimp Mode”. It’s brilliant.

It’s water resistant and obviously has an LCD
display. The Tokyo Flash Men’s Star Performer Watch is absolutely one
of the most ridiculous watches in the world. It’s the perfect gift for
that person who always seems to have everything. Who could forget the
Christmas they got a Tokyo Flash Men’s Star Performer Watch?

Warranty: One Year Manufacturer

Features:

• The watch displays the functions by lighting up the number in the
  column that is needed. The watch lights up one number in each column to
  tell the time. For example: 1-2-5-3 would be 12:53.
• The 4 icons on top light up when the mode is selected, from left to right, the icons read Clock, Sun, $, and a Martini glass.
• The
  clock Icon represents the time and if it is in 12 hour mode and PM, the
  Martini Glass will light up also. Drinking is usually done during this
  time.
• The Sun Icon represents the Day and Date. The digits 1
  to 7 on the left side are for the days. For example 1 equals Sunday and
  7 equals Saturday and the left two columns represent the Days.
• The $ Icon, represents the Year. The $ sign means making more money year after year.
• The
  Pimp mode light up function lights up all the lights in a fireworks
  like manner and automatically turns on at 7:00 PM and turns off at 1:00
  AM (It can not be switched off). Gives the watch a look like it is malfunctioning, very cool.
• Also when you press the time display button between 1:00 AM and 7:00
  PM, the watch will light up once a minute for the next 12 minutes.
• The watch measures 2.9 cm wide,
  5.5 cm long, 1.1 cm thick and is all solid stainless steel, with a
  double spring clasp and a mineral crystal face with mirrored digits.
  This Pimp watch has been completely re-engineered to add great
  stability and long life.
• Series: Star Performer
• Style: Casual
• Size: Men’s
• Case: Stainless steel
• Dial Color: Digital/Multi-Color green LED
• Bracelet: Stainless steel
• Clasp Type: Deployment
• Movement: Japan quartz
• Crystal: Mineral
• Case Diameter: 29 mm
• Case Thickness: 12 mm
• Water Resistant: 30 meters
• Calendar: Day and date
• Bracelet Width: 23 mm
• Bracelet Length: 8.5 inches
• Multi-Function: Time 12 and 24 hour, Year, Light up function
• Material|Stainless steel

In the box:

• Watch
• Warranty Card

Life is full of hard questions. Does a pound of bricks weigh more than a pound
of feathers? Who put the wham in the wham-a-lama-ding-dong? Why do the major
parties seem to be ignoring Ron Paul despite his growing popularity among the
very people they hope to attract? Teach your children how to think with the
University Games Game of Knowledge Board Game. Designed to use the knowledge you
already have, this trivia game lets multiple players compete on multiple levels,
everyone teaching and learning together, Give your children what is perhaps the
greatest gift of all: the skill and knowledge to always win free drinks on
trivia night. The University Games Game of Knowledge Board Game is the key. Help
them unlock the door.
Features:

• The Fun Educational Game for Children and Their Parents
• Which is worth more-a
  bucket full of nickels or the same bucket half full of dimes?
• What letter is not
  used to start the name of a country?
• How many outs are in a 9-inning baseball
  game won by the visiting team?
• More appealing than other trivia games because
  you use the knowledge that you already have to answer questions for your own age
  group.
• Questions for two different age groups: 10-15 and 16 and up.
• Two sets of
  questions so players compete on their own level.
• A perfect fit if you’re
  searching for fun, family entertainment.

Go on, I know you’re wondering. Go ahead and ask. You want to know what happened to my eye, right?

It
was a stormy evening, chilly, a lot like tonight. I went down to my
basement to get a side of venison out of my meat freezer when I noticed
that one of my basement windows was cracked. I supposed I might as well
measure the thing while I was down there, so’s I’d know how big a pane
of glass I’d need to replace it. But darned if I couldn’t find my tape
measure. I looked everywhere for it, and I was just about to give up
when I saw something I’ll never forget.

There it was, on the
shelf above the croquet set, glowing pearly white. It was the biggest,
most beautiful tape measure I’d ever seen. I didn’t wonder where it
came from – I was too drawn to it, too entranced by its magic. I had to
go to it, to take it in my hand, to measure stuff with it. It had a
hold on me.

I lifted it – so light, almost like it climbed
into my hand on its own. I felt like we floated together over to the
broken window, and it seemed to unfurl like a flag in the breeze. In no
time at all, I found the dimensions of the broken pane – 13” by 27”, it
was – and clicked the button to reel it back in.

I know how
this sounds. But it lunged. That’s the only way I can describe it. The
tape lunged at my eye, and cut the eyeball with the sharp tape edge. I
think I mighta caught that little metal tab on the end, too. Of course,
I screamed in pain and grabbed my eye. I heard the tape measure clatter
to the floor. I blacked out. I woke up in the hospital, and they told
me they’d had to remove the eye.

After I got back home, I
crawled around the basement for two days. I looked in every corner,
under every piece of furniture, behind every box. I never found that
lovely, mysterious, deadly tape measure. I don’t know where it came
from or why it attacked me. And frankly, I don’t want to. I’m just glad
to be alive.

Now I play it safe with the Performance Tools W5746 Point-N-Measure
Digital Tape Measure. It measures distances up to 50 feet
electronically. It can freeze measurements in its memory, and it shuts
off automatically after five minutes, so it doesn’t waste the 9-volt
battery. And most importantly, it doesn’t contain any potentially
blinding tape. I’ve still got one good eye, and I intend to keep it.

Warranty: 90 days

Features:

• Laser Targeting clearly and accurately indicates end point of measurement
• Calculates area and volume-it does the math
• Calculates square footage or cubic feet
• Measures accurately up to 50 feet
• Great for contractors or DIYers
• Uses (1) 9V battery (not included)
• Displays: Inch, feet, and centimeters

The clock radio is a pretty great invention, except in one respect:
The radio part. Your frame of mind upon waking helps determine how
you’re going to feel about the whole rest of the day. You want to trust
this critical moment to “Mad Marcus and the Woodchuck?” When the
revolution comes, FM morning crews across the nation will be sentenced
to useful labors. Until then, though, there’s no reason your first
moments of consciousness should be set to the soundtrack of some
inarticulate man-child’s on-air prank phone calls. Seriously, who even
wants to awaken into that kind of world?

Get yourself one of
these here Luna clock radios with iPod dock and set it up so the first
thing you hear is that crowing rooster on the B side of Sgt. Pepper.
Good morning! Good morning! Now that’ll start your day off right, right
there. Or use the gradually-decreasing/gradually-increasing volume
settings to lower and raise yourself into and out of somnus with the Kronos Quartet. That stuff’ll straight-up condition your dreams, man.

Warranty: 90 days

Features:

Outstanding audio
Luna is more than just the most
advanced iPod alarm clock available, it is also an outstanding audio
system. It offers the same kind of performance you’d expect from a
stand-alone iPod speaker system. With two precision speakers and a
two-channel amplifier, Luna delivers stunning clarity and powerful
sound. Plus, the finely-tuned enclosure creates deep bass, clear highs
and realistic vocals. Its enough to fill any room in your home with
high-quality sound, and that’s enough to make you want to listen all
day long.

Intelligent design
Luna’s form is just as
stunning as its functions. The sleek design not only complements your
iPod and dŽcor, but also contributes to user-friendly lifestyle
operation. The control knobs are easily accessible and eliminate the
myriad buttons and switches found on most alarm clocks. The integrated
universal dock well holds your iPod using Apple’s dock well inserts, or
the custom inserts that ship with select XtremeMac cases. Luna also
charges your iPod whenever it’s docked, so it’s ready to go whenever
you are.

Sweet Dreams
Luna lets you create
customized sleeping and waking environments by giving you control over
every aspect of the alarm clock experience. For example, you can drift
off to sleep while listening to your iPod or the AM/FM radio, and set
the display brightness and volume level to your liking. The sleep timer
is adjustable from 1 to 90 minutes and can be readjusted at any time
during sleep mode with a simple turn of a knob or with the remote. That
means you can easily enjoy a few more minutes of audio or shut it off
sooner. If you select Luna’s unique decreasing volume feature, Luna
will gradually lower the volume to zero over the specified sleep time
to let you fall asleep smoothly. How sweet is that?

Smart alarms
With Luna you can wake to your iPod, the AM/FM radio, or one of three
buzzers–at a volume level you choose. You can even set your iPod to a
particular song or playlist before docking for a truly customized wake
up call. If you select iPod as your alarm source, but forget to dock
your iPod, Luna is even smart enough to wake you with the buzzer by
default.

Each of the two alarms can be set to independent
volume levels, regardless of the last listening volume. So whether you
want your alarm loud and rocking or soft and serene, you can set it
just the way you like. If you select the volume ramping feature, Luna
will gradually increase the volume of the iPod, radio or buzzer over a
specified time period–from 0 to 60 seconds–to let you wake up gently.

After selecting your alarm options, you can preview them with
the push of a button to make sure the alarm source, volume and display
brightness are right where you want them. You’ll sleep easy with the
reassurance that your alarm will wake you just as planned.

When the alarm goes off, one touch can reset the alarm for the next
day, turn it off completely, or let you snooze for a time period you
select –from 1 to 60 minutes. While snoozing, you can even adjust the
timer up or down with the turn of a knob or with the remote.

Luna also has a battery backup in case of power failure, with two AA
batteries included. But just in case, even the backup has a backup. A
built-in feature will retain clock and alarm settings for up to five
minutes without power, even if the batteries are dead or not properly
installed. Now that’s smart.

Intuitive menus
Luna
is driven by a patented menu system that allows for an array of
customizable features never before found on an alarm clock. The menus
look and function much like your iPod–and are just as easy to
navigate. Simply scroll and click through various options using the
main control knob or use the other three knobs for shortcuts to
specific functions. Menus are organized with the most commonly used
features at the top for quick access. Remote control

Luna’s
remote control lets you access basic and advanced functions from across
the room. Plus, it shows each command in large lettering on Luna’s
front display whenever a button is pushed, so you’ll always know the
remote message was received. Basic controls include volume, bass,
treble, radio tuning and preset selection. You can also control iPod
functions like play, pause, shuffle, next/previous track, next/previous
playlist and fast forward/fast rewind. Advanced remote functions
include snooze, sleep, alarm on, off and reset. screens

Customizable display
Ever been kept awake by a clock that’s too bright? Luna solves this
problem by letting you adjust the display brightness from completely
off to full intensity. You can even set the brightness for sleep mode
and alarms, so you can sleep easy with the display dimmed or off and
wake up to a brighter setting automatically. If the display is
completely off, touching any of Luna’s controls will automatically
brighten it to a minimum level temporarily so you can see to adjust
volume, sleep time, and more.

What’s in the Box
Luna speaker dock, AC adapter, remote control, AM loop antenna, FM antenna, printed operating instructions

“Baby, please, just let me come in,” DeAndre pleaded from the
sidewalk in front of the apartment building. “We can talk about this,
we can work it out…she didn’t mean anything to me…”

“SHUT
UP!,” Donnika screamed, hurling another armload of DeAndre’s clothes
from the third-floor window. “Get your mess outta here! I’m done! I’m
done!”

Having exhausted his dresser drawers, now Donnika
was flinging his CDs one by one into the air, the jewel cases spiraling
like Frisbees. “See that, you dog?,” she taunted. “I don’t need you or
your damn CDs anymore! I’ve got an iRiver Clix 2GB Media Player now! It
holds 500 songs in MP3 and WMA formats, and plays MPEG-4 video files on its 2.2” color LCD! And its USB 2.0 connection satisfies my data-transfer needs like you never could! Bastard!”

“Come
on, now, baby, it doesn’t have to be like this,” DeAndre begged. But he
was stunned into silence as Donnika staggered up to the window, a bulky
black shape filling her arms. It couldn’t be…but it was!

“Not
my stereo, baby! Please! Not my stereo!” She shoved the receiver and
speakers into open space, wiping her hands theatrically. Panicked,
DeAndre bolted forward as if to catch his beloved sound system, then
ducked away helplessly from the falling stereo components. They cracked
into pieces on the sidewalk.

As he knelt amid the wreckage,
DeAndre knew he was beaten. There was no point in arguing anymore. In a
daze, he tried to piece together the shards of a Young Jeezy disc.
Around him lay the broken remnants of his life, audio components and
black jeans and bright silver CDs scattered like garbage on the street.
Maybe it was time to make some changes.

Warranty: 90 days

Features:

• Plays music, video, photos and more
• Supports subscription music services
• Ultra-bright, 2.2” color display
• Built-in digital FM tuner
• Plays downloaded games
• Integrated voice recorder
• Up to 25 hours of battery life
• Skip-free listening
• Alarm clock
• Fast USB 2.0 transfers

System Requirements:

• Windows XP (Service Pack 1 or higher)
• Windows Media Player 10 or greater
• CD-ROM drive
• USB port

e understand that some mobile phones don’t have built-in
speakerphones, especially older ones. And we certainly realize that
many phones don’t use Bluetooth wireless connectivity. But how many
phones have Bluetooth, but no speakerphone? Any? At all?

That’s what we don’t get about the Kyocera Bluetooth Hands Free Car Kit. Yeah, yeah, we grasp its basic raison d’etre:
to allow you to talk no-handed in your car, leaving you free to put on
your eyeshadow, dump caffeine down your gullet, and occasionally steer
the car. It allows full duplex conversations with the enclosed external
mic and it’s easy to use with its plug-and-play setup.

We
just don’t know who’s going to be plugging and playing. We hope Kyocera
figured this one out. If not, it’s going to be an awfully long day
around here.

 Warranty: 90 days

Features:

• You can move this Plug-n-Play car kit to multiple vehicles without any installation costs.
• Works with any Bluetooth enabled cell phone.
• Full duplex, natural speech, with the enclosed external mic, typically mounted on the sun visor.
• Automatic answering function for incoming calls, which can be deactived if preferred.
• A 90 degree tilt plug in adapter allows for use in more vehicle cigarette lighter jacks.
• One touch button allows you to answer and end calls.

Somewhere there is a guy who still goes to work every day in his
teal jersey, still drinks from his dolphin-shaped mug, and still buys
snacks on Saturday afternoon, just in case someone will drop by to
share the game with him. This sort of devotion is what you’ll get from
the Netgear WPN111 RangeMax Wireless-G MIMO USB 2.0
Adapter. With over 100 antenna positions and compatible with 802.11b or
g, you’ll find your network going further than the Patriots, even if
you’re one of those people who would rather we used a different
metaphor. Move your laptop, use a cordless phone, it doesn’t matter,
your Netgear WPN111 RangeMax Wireless-G MIMO USB 2.0 Adapter will figure it out and change the play, the 40/64/128 bit WEP or WPA encryption moving right along to block that sneak your next-door-neighbor is trying to pull on your pristine network.

Somewhere
there’s a guy who still paints a big “I” on his chest before a game,
even though his four other friends don’t even bother to show up. To him
we dedicate this Netgear WPN111 RangeMax Wireless-G MIMO USB 2.0 Adapter. There’s always next year, pal.

Warranty: 90 days

 
Features:

• 10x more speed and 10x more coverage than Wireless-G
• Extends your network coverage up to 10x more than Wireless-G†
• Easy set up with Smart Wizard® installation software
• Maximum performance requires use with NETGEAR RangeMax Wireless Router
• MIMO internal smart antennas adapt on the fly to interference
• 100% compatible with 802.11b, 802.11g, and SuperG devices
• Easy setup via Smart Wizard install assistant
• Features WEP (Wired Equivalent Privacy) and WPA-PSK (Wi-Fi Protected Access-Pre-Shared Key) Security
• Delivers consistent wireless connections—no more dropped connections or dead spots
• Provides enough bandwidth to support music downloads, file sharing and multimedia applications†
• Backward compatible with Wireless-G standard products
• Designed for your notebook or desktop PC
• Supports Windows® Vista™

Vector Tomorrowspring paced the wall of his anti-gravity room, high
above the Pacific Northwest. “Dunder and Toddle!” he swore his
future-swear. “My atom-toast is late again!” There was a series of
time-knocks at the door, like gentle fist-driven rain. It was the maid.

“Mr. Vector!” she said. “There was a future-crisis among the chrono-ponies! I am so sorry that I am-”

“Late?
Late? Of course you are. The chrono-ponies are breaking everything! But
no worries, for now there is the Oregon Scientific JM888A Como Outdoor Atomic RF Wall Clock to re-align our time-space astro-line!”

“Oh!” the maid gasped, momentarily turning to dust and back again.

“Come, come, young lady! No time for that! Observe the waterproof shell! The sunproof… shell! The gardenproof…”

”…Shell?” the maid replied timidly.

Vector
spun on his future-heel, indignant at the spill of un-past upon his
grand designs. “May Chrom heap dunder and toddle upon these non-local
chrono-ponies! I suppose the break in the atomo-net pulled back the
curtain of yestermorrow and revealed the large easy to read LCD screen to you as well? And the Ultra-violet detecto-scope built in? What say you in answer, woman-beast? Speak if you dare!”

The maid stared at him, confused, tomorrow-scented future-tears beginning to atomic-drip down her retro-covered space-nose.

“All I wanted was a good clock, Mr. Vector! That’s all I ever wanted! That’s all I ever wanted from anyone! Even you!”

Vector
nodded with a quiet, sad intelligence as the maid ran from the room.
“That’s all any of us wanted, darling. That’s what got us into this…
madness!”

 Warranty: One year

Features:

• Large outdoor clock, Waterproof and UV resistant
• Self-setting atomic clock in 12/24 hour format with time zone offset feature
• Large LCD for easy viewing
• Displays outdoor temperature
• User selectable hourly chime
• Optional UV Sensor allows detection of outdoor UV level
• Table stand – Can be pulled out and used to stand the unit on a flat surface
• MODE button – Toggles between the clock display modes and can manually adjust current time and the date
• C/F switch – Slide to select between Celsius and Fahrenheit display format
• Requires 2 “AA” batteries (included)
• Measures 11.75” x 10.25” x 2.75”

Display Includes:

• Time Zone
• Hourly Chime indicator
• Time Display
• UV (Ultraviolet) index level indicator (requires Optional UV Sensor)
• Local temperature
• Atomic Clock reception signal
• Low battery indicator
• Current date display

Alexander The Great took the last step across the great stone doors,
into the heart of the Oracle’s chamber. “Alexander,” her heard her
confident voice say. “I know why you have come without even a word. You
see my blessing, my guidance, my exclusive sports updates, comedy, and
the finest music you remember from your childhood years.”

Alexander knelt low in agreement. He felt the oracle’s hand on his shoulder.

“Arise, Alexander, and receive my gift. The Delphi SkyFi2 XM Satellite
Radio Receiver and Car Kit. This plug-and-play radio will allow you to
forever be in contact with the latest news, music and other events, no
matter if you are in your warship or your chariot. Also I grant you
this stock ticker, a sports ticker, a clock, an FM Modulator and a remote control, to keep you from throwing your spear across the ship deck to change the channel.”

Alexander looked at her with awe on his lips. She made a little motion and he wiped them clean.

“My lady-”

“No, Alexander. Say nothing. Just go with my blessing and my Delphi SkyFi2 XM Satellite
Radio Receiver and Car Kit, and swear an oath that you will never
listen to the all-Whitesnake station, for such things are reserved for
the gods themselves.”

Alexander swore his oath… but there was a curious hesitation in his voice…

Warranty: 90 day Woot

Features:

• Built-in FM transmitter (broadcasts to your vehicle’s FM radio)
• Light blue display with adjustable contrast, brightness, and font size
• 30-minute memory (allows you to pause and review a show)
• Five lines of information, including song title, artist, and channel name and number
• Channel preview — allows you to preview other channels
• Rotary control
• Direct numerical key input
• 20-channel programmable preset memory
• 10-entry artist name and song title memory
• Compatible with Delphi’s Audio System boombox and CD Audio System AM/FM/CD/MP3 boombox

Kit Includes:

• New Mini Micro Antenna
• Car Cradle
• Vent Mount Clip
• Power Supply
• Tape Adaptor (may not be necessary with SKYFi2)
• Mounting Accessories
• Delphi XM SKYFi 2 Receiver
• XM SKYFi 2 Remote

I am recording these events to better understand my own mind, the vast
city underneath ourselves that no man ever truly knows. I just awoke
from a dream I will attempt to narrate to you now. It was on my way
home that a tiny tiny white van pulled up beside my car. “Yeh, Yddub,”
the little voice said. “Dluow uoy ekil ot yub emos srekaeps?” I got out
of my car and looked into his van. It was upholstered in red velvet and
strange crooked lines. Sitting in the back was a beautiful blonde
woman, maybe just eighteen, but worldly. She held in her left hand a
Saitek A100 MySpkr Personal Stereo Speaker.
It was just the right size for a portable player, like an iPod or a
mobile phone. “Yrt ti tuo,” he offered, and so I did. The bass was rich
as a chocolate cake! The built-in stand spread the sound across the
room like cream cheese frosting and the case? The case was as durable
as unfulfilled love, and twice as scratch-resistant. It came with a
cable and a carrying case and I was just about to buy it when suddenly,
I woke up in my bed, in the hotel room you might remember from our
previous discussions. Please see if a SP91010A Saitek A100 MySpkr
Personal Stereo Speaker is available, and ship it to me at this address
as soon as possible. I suspect it may help me with this case.

Warranty: Two Year Manufacturer

Features:

• Designed for iPod® and MP3 players, MP3 mobile phones, handheld game consoles and laptops
• Active stereo speaker with tuned bass port
• Twin neodymium speakers deliver amazing sound quality
• Integrated stand for improved stereo sound projection.

Technical Information

• 3.5mm to 3.5mm audio cable provided (for connecting iPod® or other media player)
• Unique connector/stand for use with iPod® Nano
• 2.5mm to 3.5mm audio cable provided (for connecting a mobile phone)
• Battery level/standby indicator
• Integrated stand positions the speakers at 30 degrees to horizontal
• Requires 4 x AAA alkaline batteries
• Input socket for external 6 volts DC power, tip positive (Adaptor not provided)
• 12 hours battery life (at average volume levels)
• Switches on automatically when music is played, switches off automatically to boost
  battery life
• Durable scratch and dust-resistant casing

In the box:

• Speaker with Integrated Stand
• 2.5mm Audio Cable
• 3.5mm Audio Cable
• iPod Nano Stand
• Case
• User Guide

They’re Wet! They’re Evil! They carved the Grand Canyon! Behold…

THE LIVING WATERFALLS

Screen Dreams presents: The LIVING WATERFALLS

Gallons of terror!

It
was supposed to just be a simple screensaver, peaceful and relaxing.
The box said so. But they had no idea what was coming when they opened:

THE LIVING WATERFALLS

The Screen Dreams Living Waterfalls Screensaver DVD! Get it before it gets you!

THE LIVING WATERFALLS

In the 21st Century, terror obeys fluid dynamics!

THE LIVING WATERFALLS

Warranty: 90 Day Woot

Features:

• Easy-to-Use
• Continuous Play
• NTSC Format Only
• Dolby Digital Audio
• Natural Sound Effects
• Soothing Soundtracks
• Vivid Picture Resolution
• A Great Sleep Aid
• Realistic Animated Video
• 3 Scenes on Every DVD
• 97 Minutes of Content on this DVD
• Play Music, Sound Effects, Both, or Neither
• Designed to Reduce the Possibility of Screen Burn
• A Vibrant Alternative to a Turned off TV
• Play Any Scene Individually or All 3 Together

HOLLA AT YA BOY HOLLA AT YA BOY YEAAAAAH WAZZZUUUUUUUP MY DAWWWGZ

As
a beta tester for the upcoming “Warcraft: House Party”, I simply don’t
have the desire to mix the orc grunts with the night elf moans over a
thumping dwarven tribal drum-n-bass using normal speakers. That’s why
all serious multiclass dj illusionists use the Everglide S-500
Professional Gaming Headphones. They feel nice against your ears, like
a snug helmet. You can almost feel your armor class rising a few
points. And charisma buffs? Just look at Paul Oakenfold! But not too
long, it might hurt your eyes. And use smoked lenses just to be safe.

The
Everglide S-500 Professional Gaming Headphones are ultra-light with
instant response, and a frequency range that makes sure you’ll hear as
clearly as a RIAA lawyer listening to a mashup. The clip on microphone means you can gloat like DJ Tiesto
after someone told him that no one would ever dance to classical music,
and the 3.1 m cable means you can get as far out as DJ Q-Bert. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to take care of this tarrasque.

AWWW
YEAH AWW YEAH THROW THEM HANDS UP THROW THEM HANDS UP I WANNA SEE YA
SWEAT HIT POINTS HERE COMES THE LATEST CHOON I GOT FROM E-BEE-THA WHERE MY BOYZ AT YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Warranty: One year

Features:

• Ultra-Light Membrane for instantaneous audio response
• Designed For Comfort And Extended Wear
• Optimum noise isolation
• Over-sized circumaural leather muffs to reduce ambient noise
• Enhanced audio positioning to accentuate key gaming sound frequencies
• Clip-on microphone and protective carrying bag included
• Great for gaming or music

Technical Specifications:

• Frequency Response: 20Hz – 20,000Hz
• Transducer: Dynamic
• Nominal Impedence: 16 ohm
• Max Sound Pressure (SPL): 102dB
• Max Power Rating: 100mW
• 3.5mm stereo plug for headphones
• 3.5mm plug for separate clip-on microphone (included)
• Headphone cable length: 3.1m
• Weight: 360g

Features:

• Clear and easy to play design.
• Four play modes: Easy, Normal, Selective, Head to Head, to suit beginner to expert
• 3 kinds of opponent: conservative, aggressive and statistical
• Pocket sized (3.7” x 6.4”)
• Snap on cover displays poker hand ranking inside
• Uses 3 AAA batteries (not included)

OK, geeks. The moment of decision has arrived. Every time we run a pre-built PC up in this mug, you come swarming out of the woodwork to insist to one and all that you could build a better PC for less. You snidely sneer that only Grandmas and n00bz would ever let Dell or HP build their PC for them. You disdainfully disparage the very idea of pre-built PCs as a pathetic crutch for the technologically impaired. You talk and talk and talk.

Now it’s time for action. For calling bluffs. For separating the geeks from the wanna-geeks.

Now it’s time for the Alienware MJ-12 700-Watt Workstation Case.

The beings at Alienware brought every point of their extraterrestrial IQ’s to bear on the MJ-12 case, loading it with more bells and whistles than a cathedral full of parakeets. 700 mighty watts of power undergird big rear and front mounted fans (120mm and 92 mm, respectively). Behind the locking front door, you’ll find four hot-swappable drive bays, built for easy access and screwless upgrading. USB, FireWire, headphone, and microphone jacks are right out in front, too. With this kind of power supply and cooling ability, you’d best bring some serious graphics. Take it up to NVIDIA SLI, if you dare. No skin off the MJ-12’s nose.

Of course, this is all assuming that your walk matches your talk. And don’t even try to weasel out of it with some limp whinge about how Alienware is owned by HP and is therefore lame. Are you prepared to stop trolling and start modding? Or did your typing fingers write a check that your skillz can’t cash? The Alienware MJ-12 700-Watt Workstation Case is ready when you are.

Warranty: 90 days

Features:

• Black powder coated side and top panels and a front-mounted perforated metal intake grille make this workstation chassis look at home in any environment
• Locking front and side panels conceal front I/O ports and drive bays to provide multiple levels of system security
• Front door folds neatly to the side for easy access to front ports and drive bays
• Convenient Front-Accessible Ports - The new Alienware chassis was designed to provide as much convenience as possible by featuring numerous front-accessible ports.
• Enhanced Ventilation - promotes optimal ventilation, including a front grill that allows improved airflow throughout the inside of the workstation case enabling lower system temperatures, in turn producing increase power and performance.
• Thermally Advantaged Design – Rear 120mm and Front Mounted 92mm Fans
• Easy Installation and Maintenance – Screw less design for trouble-free upgrading
• Three 5.25″ bays
• Optional hot-swap hard disk drive module supporting up to four hard drives
• Front Panel Ports – 1 Fire wire, 2 USB 2.0, 1 Headphone jack, 1 Microphone jack
• Type – ATA 12V 2.0
• Continuous Power – 700 Watts
• Maximum Power – 760 Watts
• Output – +12V1@13A/18A, +12V2@18A, +12V3@16, +12V4@8, - 12V@0 . 5A, +5VSB@2A
• Protection – Over Voltage Protection, Over Current Protection, Short Circuit Protection, No Load Operation
• Visit Alienware.com for more information

A Whistler 1773 Laser & Radar Detector is like a loyal dog. You get
360-degree protection on wavelengths humans can’t observe ( the X, K,
KA and Superwide bands, as well as laser, SWS
and VG-2). It stays by your side with a mounting bracket and suction
cup. It needs you to feed it now and then with the included cigarette
lighter plug, and maybe you could brush it clean at stoplights. But the
Whistler 1773 Laser & Radar Detector will always be there in your
car, howling when there is danger, wagging its metaphorical tail and
looking up at you with adoration. That’s radar love.

Warranty: One year

Features:

• 360ø Total Perimeter Protection
• Full Feature with POP Detection
• POP Mode Detection
• Easy-to-Understand Real Voice
• Total Band Protection
• Text Display with Real Voice Alerts (Selectable Tones)
• Stay Alert
• Three (3) City Modes
• Tutorial Mode
• Includes Whistler Standard Features
• High Gain Lens
• Quiet/Auto Quiet Modes
• Vehicle Battery Saver (Selectable)
• Safety Warning System
• Setting Saver
• Patented VG-2 Cloaking Technology
• Quiet Mode – Quiet cancels audio during an alert and any new alert within 20 seconds.
• Auto
  Quiet – Auto Quiet reduces the selected audio level to level (1)
  approximately 5 seconds after a radar or safety radar signal is
  detected.
• Auto Quiet does not affect VG-2 or laser alerts.
• Press Quiet/Menu (before a signal is detected) to engage Auto Quiet.
• Once the Auto Quiet mode is engaged, you may cancel the audio alarm by pressing Quiet.
• Press Quiet (when the unit is not alarming) to cancel Auto Quiet mode.
• Alert Priority

From the planet DIET-RY comes the VEG-N DTV Tuner/DVR!
She turns your simple Earth notebook into a powerful entertainment
center! She can hook up your XBoxes, your Playstations, your Gamecubes
and your video projectors! She can work as a DVR so you can record your favorite shows to your hard drive and you can plug in your digital camera!She includes a PIW, picture in window so you can watch and work at the same time! Beloved of Earth children, VEG-N comes on a mission of peace, but watch out! Because close behind is the dread CARNIV-RE and his sometime ally 8ACHEES-BURG-RTHATT-MEWHILEDR-NK! Help the VEG-N DTV Tuner/DVR in her mission to bring you better entertainment… before it is too late!
Warranty: One year manufacturer

Features:

• transform your computer into a 1024×768 enhanced resolution Television
• NTSC video supported
• Auto tuning up to 128 channels
• Picture-in-Window (PIW) function
• Intuitive full-function remote control
• includes Digital Video Recording (DVR) software
• connect your monitor to virtually any gaming platform like Xbox, PS2 or Gamecube for gaming in enhanced resolution
• Graphic-based On-screen Menus

what’s included:

• Multimedia unit
• 12V DC adapter
• VGA cable
• Audio cable
• Remote control with batteries
• User manual

Minimum requirements:

• USB 2.0 port
• 1.2 GHz or higher CPU
• Overlay supported VGA
• 128 MB RAM
• Sound card
• Windows 98SE/ME/2000/XP

“And there I wath… Alone in th darkneth… and out of th night comth… th MEAT GOLEMth!!”

“Whoa.”
“What did you do?”

“Good quethion, young padawanth. thankfully, I hadth my Ethcalibur 5-Piece BBQ thet at the ready.”

“Whoa.”
“the Excalibur 5-Piece BBQ Set! My dungeon master won’t allow those.”

“I
pulled out my pluth two Tongth of the Elvin Lordth and dual-wielded
them with th Fork Of Cunning, granting me eththra Withdom and
Deththerithy. It made thort work of those… heh heh… hamburger
githyankith.”

“Whoa.”
“Did you use the scraper?”

“Don’t
geth ahead of me, little warriorth! With the foeth on th run, I took th
Spathula of Zeuth and th thraper of Chriththanthothangthuthathumth and
cruthed th remainth with my mighthy and righthious angerth.

“Whoa.”
“Man, when I get to junior high I so hope I am as cool as you.”

“Everyone doth, my friendth. Everyone doth.”

Warranty: 90 days

Features:

• All utensils are stainless-steel 
• Fork
• Tongs
• Spatula
• Grill brush
• Attractive aluminum carrying case
• Dishwasher safe
• Crafted with extra long handles with hanging loops for cooking ease.

When I hit the ones and twos I don’t have to worry about accidentally
dropping Scooter over Amon Tobin, cause I got it all worked out on my
Zune. But what happens when I’m peaked but my Zune’s goin’ down the
k-hole? That’s why I got the Belkin F8M027 Zune
TunePower. It throws in an extra six to twelve hours with the battery
pack, which is great for when I gotta hear that 12 inch Philip Glass vs
The Prodigy I picked up on a white label, and it’s got a plug so you
can recharge ‘em both without stopping, just like Afrika Bambaattaa can
recharge a dance floor. I keep movin’ till the breaka breaka dawn, and
my Zune has to keep up. So I never leave my Belkin F8M027 Zune TunePower. You think I’m some loser like Tiesto or something?

Warranty: 3 year Belkin

Features:

• Rechargeable battery pack that keeps your music or videos playing even when your Zune’s internal battery is drained.
• Great solution for long flights, hikes, or for anytime you don’t have access to an AC outlet and want to extend your play time.
• Compact design fits easily in your pocket or carrying case
• Detachable AC power adapter that simultaneously charges your Zune and your TunePower
• Extends the playtime of your Zune digital media player by 6 to 12 hours
• Features a convenient foldout stand for hands-free video viewing
• Saves money and the environment with rechargeable battery
• Protects your Zune with custom-molded sleeves

In the box:

• Belkin F8M027 TunePower
• AC power adapter
• Warranty information.

We’ve no clue who these “Sonic Impact” fellers are. Their company name sounds like a lousy NES game, a crappy superhero team, or a late-night music-video show you’d see on some basic cable channel circa 1986. But nominal shortcomings aside, they’re doing mighty Apple a huge favor with the Sonic Impact V55 Video Player for iPod.

See, everybody between the ages of 5 and 50 has made his or her mind up about the iPod. They either have one already, can’t afford one, or don’t want one. What new territories are left to conquer? What new market could Apple seize to feed the growth beast? The old folks market, that’s what.

Showing iPod video on a relatively spacious widescreen 7″ LCD, the V55 instantly transforms the iPod into a viable possibility for aging eyes. It can also serve to connect your iPod to your TV, building a bridge between the medium of Milton Berle and the medium of Chad Vader. Stop squinting, grandma.

The wrinkled and wizened among us will find that the V55 enhances their non-video iPod experience, too, as it punches through the fog of age with surprisingly loud earbud-free audio. Only the iPod Shuffle is incompatible with the V55, but we don’t imagine a lot of seniors went crazy for that tiny, featureless white trinket anyway.

But Apple’s debt to Sonic Impact may be more personal than that. Doctors recommend thorough eye exams for people over 55, to catch nasty vision impairments like macular degeneration and glaucoma. A certain tech company’s founder and CEO turns 53 next February. But don’t worry, Mr. J. When your eyesight starts to go, your iPod doesn’t have to - as long as you’ve got the Sonic Impact V55.
Warranty: One year

Features:

• 7 in. LCD screen is built into a slim and compact yet durable folding design. Weighing approximately 2 pounds, the Video 55 is small enough to go just about anywhere, while having a big enough screen to enjoy even at home.
• Incredible digital quality sound which is crystal clear at both high and low volumes. Audio can also be played through the standard headphone connection.
• The Video-55 is compatible with all iPods that use the standard iPod plug on the bottom. This includes almost all iPods with the exception of iPod Shuffle.
• The “Video and Audio Output” feature allows you to hook your Video-55 up to any TV and watch your iPod videos in a full size picture with stereo quality sound.
• Included standard AC power connections connect to any power outlet. The Video-55 is capable of being used while charging the battery at the same time.
• The 4 hour video + audio playback rechargeable lithium ion battery is included, as well as the vehicle cigarette lighter attachment for the car.
• The Video-55 Portable iPod Video and Audio system features a 7-inch 16:9 wide screen LCD display with DVD resolution and stereo quality sound. It’s fully rechargeable extended life battery makes it perfect for watching or listening to any iPod .
• The included Video-55 A/V cables can be used to connect your iPod media to any television or stereo system. Control the iPod through the Video-55 menu buttons, or from across the room using the included infrared remote control.

Specifications:

• Inputs: iPod dock connector, 1/8-in./3.5mm mini stereo jack
• Frequency response: 100Hz-20KHz
• Signal-to-noise ratio: >60dB
• Impedance: 16 Ohms 
• Speaker channel: Two-channel stereo output
• Output power: 1.2W per channel
• Speaker drivers: Neodymium magnetic drivers
• Battery: Rechargeable lithium
• Battery capacity: 4000 mAH
• Playing time: Approx. 4 hours
• Charging time: Approx. 5 hours
• Contrast and brightness: 400
• Response time: 10/20ms 
• Weight: 2.375 lb./1.08 kg

All right, everyone, all right, take your places, please. Before we
begin, I’d like to welcome you to Inner Cleansing 101. By cleaning the
in, we change the out, right? Okay, let’s get started. I’ll just put on
a little Yanni so we can focus…

Close your eyes. Visualize. I want you to become a Oreck XL Walnut Professional Air Cleaner. Make your lungs the Pre-filter, drawing in the dirty air. Remove those polutants with HEPA
certified filters. Now send out the positive charges, charging the big
particles to make them easy to catch. There’s one, grab it! Grab it
quickly! Now be the Collector. Feel your collection plates grabbing and
pulling, grabbing and pulling. Hold those ions down, hold tight! Then
cleanse again, a gentle charcoal odor absorber that sometimes needs to
be replaced. But not today, today you can clean the world’s soul of
odors! Now revitalize. Send out negative ions, not bad! just negative,
opposite ions, to counter-balance the changes. Negative is a part of
nature, accept it, make it work for you. And now we are clean, pure
air. Breathe yourself in. Feel yourself filling yourself. Breathe in,
breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. There. Don’t you feel cleansed?
Reborn?

Now who wants a smoke?

Warranty: One year Oreck

Features:

• Traps up to 95% of particles as minute as 0.1 microns.
• Removes air pollutants like dust, lint, pollen, pet dander, smoke, and dust mites.
• Uses the same clean-air technology that U.S. submarines use.
• Silence Technology® for quietest operation
• Captures and destroys bacteria, viruses, molds and fungi
• Permanent filter never needs replacing
• Powerful fan cleans 30’ x 30’ room every hour
• Air Revitalizer helps to freshen stale air
• Compact design: Use on tabletop or mount on wall (wall mount optional)
• Status indicator: Turns red when it’s time to clean the filter
• Optional Charcoal Odor Absorber removes stubborn, troublesome odors
• Optional Fragrance Cartridges for aromatherapy
• Dimensions: 16″ x 10″ x 5″ (approximate)

5-Stage Purification Process:

• Pre-Filter: Fan draws in dirty air and air filter traps large particles such as hair, lint, etc.
• Positive Charging Wires: Electricity is used to positively charge small particles such as dust, smoke and pollen.
• Collector: A series of alternately charged collection plates attract and lock in dirt particles like a powerful magnet.
• Charcoal Odor Absorbers: Activated charcoal absorbs common household odors. (replace periodically).  
• Air Revitalizer: Emits negative ions to freshen stale air.   
• Clean, pure air is then returned back into the room.

A child bounces a ball on a brilliant green lawn. Some grain spills
from a chute into a truck. An old person turns and smiles with a
twinkle in his or her eye. There’s a new spirit in America. A spirit of
hope. A spirit of sharing. A spirit of vague generalities and
sentimental pandering. That’s the Mustek spirit, and it blows as hard
as the winds of freedom buffeting our land.

This spirit comes to life in the Mustek MDC-532Z Digital Camera. You can see it in the 2.5” TFT LCD
display. You can feel it in the 5.2MP optical sensor and the 3X optical
zoom. That moist thumping sound you hear is the heart of America
beating. With an injection of Mustek MDC-532Z, it’s beating stronger than ever. Long may it wave.

Warranty: 90 days:

Features:

• Total Resolution – 5.2 Megapixels
• Optical Zoom – 3x
• Display Screen – 2.5” Active Matrix TFT Color LCD
• Lens Type Focal Length: 5.4 – 16.2mm
• Batteries – 1 x Li-Ion Supported
• Interfaces/Ports – 1 x USB, 1 x Video Output, 1 x DC Power Input
• Effective Resolution – 5.0 Megapixels
• Viewfinder Type – LCD
• Internal Memory – 16MB
• Flash Modes – Auto Flash, Flash OFF, Fill Flash, Red-eye Reduction
• Dimensions – 2.2” Height x 3.56” Width x 0.9” Depth
• Total Resolution – 5.2 Megapixels
• Storage Media – 1 x Secure Digital (SD) Card Supported
• Digital Zoom – 4x
• Weight – 0.28 lb
• Image Formats – TIFF, JPEG
• Video Formats – ASF
• Audio Formats – WAV

It was kismet. They belonged together like the screwdrivers in a Generic 12pc Screwdriver Set. This is their story.

Lucy
had grown up on the West Coast learning about Che and Karl and Jello.
She let her hair grow and didn’t even own underwear. She believed in
the government as a force for good and believed taxes should fund
services for the people, not the corporations. On weekends she lay
beside a stream and whispered to the Naiad that kept her little cabin
safe. She wanted it legal, as long as it wasn’t a gun.

Tyrone
T. grew up in a Dallas mansion. He never wanted for anything, and
believed in the ability of the individual to make more from what they
had. He felt corporations were the ideal medium for this to happen, and
believed that anyone could be a millionaire from nothing. He went
shooting every weekend and his SUV was lined in the skins of his trophy kills. He never missed church, not even if he traveled.

Lefty
Lucy and Righty Ty T. met in the hardware store, over a stack of
Generic 12pc Screwdriver Sets. It was love at first sight.

Warranty: 90 days

Includes:

• 1/4” x 4” Slotted tip
• 3/16” x 3” Slotted tip
• 1/8” x 2 1/2” Slotted tip
• 1/4” x 1 1/2” Slotted tip
• #2×4” Phillips
• #1×3” Phillips
• #0×2 1/2” Phillips
• #2×1 1/2” Phillips
• T10 x 3” Star
• T15 x 3” Star
• #2 X 1/4” offset
• #1 X 3/16” offset

WAIT! Before you write off this Whistler
Radar Detector DE-1770 as yet another boring old semi-legal piece of
junk like so many others we sell, you should know that there’s more to
this radar detector than realistic voice alerts, NOAA weather radio, and all-band, 360-degree protection from radar and laser. Take a look at these Astonishing Tales of the Whistler Radar Detector DE-1770…if you dare.

The Incredible Migrating Whistler:
Donna Bostic of Wilmington, Delaware lost her Whistler Radar Detector
DE-1770, seemingly forever – only to find it while on vacation some
3,000 miles away in Eugene, Oregon, under the front passenger seat of her own car!

Double Your Amazement:
Twin boys born in Dayton, Ohio were adopted and raised by two different
families living hundreds of miles apart. Despite growing up separately,
when the two men met as adults, they discovered some incredible
similarities. Each of their first names started with J; both twins
enjoyed sleeping for several hours each night; each man held a
full-time job; both spoke fluent English; and they both considered
radar detectors like the Whistler DE-1770 to be an immoral, ineffective
waste of money.

Eye-Poke Miracle: When Alan
Yabuki of Cheyenne, Wyoming was involved in a minor motoring accident,
his eye was impaled on the antenna of his Whistler Radar Detector
DE-1770. Remarkably, Yabuki’s eye showed no impairment of visual
function. Shards of the broken glass eye did cut Yabuki up pretty bad,
though.

Two Dead Presidents: Abraham Lincoln
was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to
Congress in 1946. Lincoln was elected president in 1860. Kennedy was
elected president in 1960. “Lincoln” has seven letters. “Kennedy” has
seven letters. Lincoln never owned a Whistler Radar Detector DE-1770.
Kennedy never owned a Whistler Radar Detector DE-1770. Coincidence?

We The (Stupid) People:
While cleaning an old writing table he bought at a flea market, Mark
O’Conner of Schuylkill Township, Pennsylvania discovered a sheaf of
weathered old papers in one of the drawers. By the time O’Conner
learned that the papers included an original copy of the U.S.
Constitution worth some $4.8 million, he had already traded the papers
for a virtually worthless Whistler Radar Detector DE-1770.

Warranty: One year

Features:

• All Band Protection – detects all radar, laser and safety radar systems including the Safety Warning System.
• Selectable All Band – user can delete one or all of the laser/radar bands.
• 360° Total Perimeter Protection – detects signals wherever they come from – no gaps in your protection.
• VG-2 Cloaking Technology – alerts you to the presence of VG-2 police surveillance.
• NOAA Weather Radio (NWR) – receives all seven (7) of the NWR radio channels to warn you of inclement weather conditions
• Easy-to-Understand Real Voice – keeps you informed and allows you to keep your eyes on the road ahead.
• High Visibility Text Display – provides over 60 easy-to-read messages.
• Vehicle Battery Saver – automatically shuts off your detector if you forget.
• Laser wavelength: 905 +/- 10 nanometers
• Radar frequencies: 10.5 - 10.55 GHz (X-band), 24.05 - 24.25 (K Band), 33.4 - 36 GHz (Ka Superwideband)
• NOAA frequencies: 162.4 - 162.55 MHz

Included:

• Whistler DE-1770 Radar/Laser Detector
• Power Cord
• Windshield Bracket
• Hook & Loop Fasteners

Midway through the journey of life, I found myself in a wood so dark,
in which my straightforward pathway had been lost. Thankfully, I had a
Vector VEC155BB Rechargable E-Brite Light.
The Halogen Main Beam let me see the path that led back to my home, and
the 3-LED Area Light lit my surroundings when I drew my dagger to stab
that old guy that only spoke Greek. I was fortunate that I had
remembered to use the Wall-Mounted charging base before I left that
morning, otherwise the four Ni-Cd batteries that came included might
not have been at full charge. The Digital LCD Display
showed me the run time and charge level, letting me ration out the
light for the important parts of my journey. I made it home in no time,
and was thankful for it. Imagine if I had no Vector VEC155BB Rechargable E-Brite Light, where in Heaven could I have ended up?
Warranty: 90 days

Specifications:

• Brushed Aluminum Housing
• Cordless / Cordless
• Wall-Mount Charger – Fully Automatic, Always Ready to Use with * Power Fail Night Light
• Halogen Main Beam – Ultra-Bright Focused Beam Light with Up To * 60 Minutes of Continuous Run Time on a Single Charge
• 3 LED Area Light – Long Life (Up to 15 Hours of Continuous Run Time on a Single Charge)
• Digital LCD Display – Shows Charge Level and Run Time Remaining
• 4 AA Rechargeable Ni-Cd Batteries Included
• Heavy-Duty Cast Aluminum Housing
• Ergonomic Hand-Grip
• Unbreakable Polycarbonate Lens, Rubber Bezel and Sealed O-Ring Gasket
• 3 Function On/Off Pushbutton Control
• What’s Included: Flashlight, 4 AA Rechargeable Ni-Cd Batteries, 120 Volt AC Wall Charger, Dock Mount Charging Station, Owner’s Manual Warranty Card

When you were in Gym Class, you could always do just thirteen more
sit-ups, right? And when it got dark in summer, you’d tell your mom
“Just thirteen more minutes, mom, please!” So why can’t you buy just
thirteen Logitech Access Keyboards?

They’re very nice,
with a ultra-flat Zero Degree Tilt design. The keys respond like a
puppy to a man with a bag of raw steak and you can control audio and
video right from the keyboard. Install the iTouch software and
customize all the features, so the world is at your fingertips.

Plus,
what if the next item is the best thing we’ve ever sold? Sure, it might
just be a wrist radio or a camera, but maybe it’s a life sized robot
dinosaur that plays Guitar Hero or a dinner for three with Billie Piper
and Gillian Anderson!

It’s just thirteen Logitech Access Keyboards. Can’t you take one for the team?

Warranty: 90 days

Features:

• PS/2 interface
• 104-key QWERTY layout
• Responsive keys providing an exceptional touch
• Easy to read black text on white keys
• One-touch Web access, search and e-mail
• Comfortable design
• Detachable palm rest

Key/Button Functions:

• Internet browsing
• Multimedia
• Application launch
• Programmable

Product Requirements:

• Microsoft Windows 98/NT 4.0/2000/ME/XP
• IBM or compatible system
• Available PS/2 port
• CD-ROM drive

“Laws are like sausages,” said Count Otto von Bismarck. “It is
better not to see them being made.” But the Iron Chancellor never said
anything about listening to sausages. If the Saitek iFreedom A-250 Wireless 2.1 Speaker System had been invented in 19th-century Prussia, the Count’s reaction surely would’ve been “Ja, ist gut! Sehr gut!” Then he’d deport some Catholic priests and throw a few union organizers into jail. Barrel of fun, that Otto.

An overstuffed rockwurst of wireless audio power, the iFreedom lets you play music from your PC, iPod or other MP3
player from anywhere within Bluetooth range (30 meters, they say,
although your meterage may vary). Pretty much anything with a 3.2mm
plug, built-in A2DP Bluetooth, or a PC/USB
connection can pump out the oompah through the iFreedom. It doesn’t
boast the bumpinest bass you’ve ever heard, and its unfortunate
maroon-and-orange trim isn’t likely to complement any interior decor
this side of the Joker’s hideout. But if you like your home audio the
way Count Otto liked his legislation – in sausage-like form – then
slather some sonic mustard on the Saitek iFreedom A-250.

Warranty: One year

Features:

• Digital stereo Bluetooth transmitter works with any 3.5mm or USB source
• 10 meter crystal clear, interference free range
• Pure organic design, controls resonance and eliminates distortion
• Instant hassle free set-up with any iPod®/MP3 player
• True digital 2.1 stereo delivered through two neodymium tweeters and dedicated subwoofer
• Reliable high-quality Bluetooth wireless link receives and controls audio within 30m range
• LCD display and volume, play, skip, back, pause and stop buttons
• Easily portable and durable for everyday use all around your home
• Tri-amped speakers with active cross over for rich controlled sound
• Punchy bass from downward firing subwoofer with tuned port
• Bluetooth speaker for any A2DP source (mobiles, laptops)
• Universal wireless transmitter for all iPods®, MP3 players, laptops and PCs & Macs (3.5mm/USB)
• Connect to MP3, CD and portable media players via 3.5mm jack audio cable (provided)
• Speaker technology incorporates aluminum tweeters, front-driven sub and passive port sub enclosure
• Neodymium speaker magnets increase efficiency and reduce magnetic interference
• Tri-amped speakers with a