Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pail of water.
When they got there they met Bo Peep and her lovely baa-ing daughter.
She said they must find Puss-In-Boots at The Little Red Hen’s pub.
And they all called Humpty Dumpty on the Wireless Garden Yada Headset Hub!

Now some might say a hub for conference calls is just no use to them!
And some might say to share their music wouldn’t matter to their friends!
And some might say you could never chain a million folks on just one phone!
But those people have no vision and will die sad and alone.

Recall that nice man on the road to far away St. Ives.
He could give some to that stranger who had kits, cats, sacks and wives!
And they could plug in microphones or perhaps their own headsets (not included)!
And call up some far off LAN party and gloat how they were best!

The Wireless Garden Yada Headset Hub is quite versatile indeed.
It shares the sound of anything that has the right plug, you see.
An iPod or a DVD or hands-free in your car?
The pretty girls (or boys) would flock to you, you’d be a star!

So Jack fell down and Jill tumbled ‘bout and Three Blind Mice did run.
And Little Miss Muffet got sick of her tuffet and she went off to Cancun!
And the owl and the pussycat visited her thanks to those Three Men In A Tub.
And they all phoned Little Boy Blue and his horn on the Wireless Garden Yada Headset Hub.

(And boy, did he give them an earful about the use of proper rhythm in verse!)

 Warranty: 90 days

Features:

• Connect up to 6 headsets or headphones (two 3.5mm jacks and Four 2.5mm jacks)
• Let everyone participate in your mobile or cordless phone conversations.
• Share your iPod®, mp3 player, laptop or portable DVD player audio
• Includes built-in noise cancellation microphone.
• Create a hands-free device in your car.
• Make the world your own conference room.
• Share your private SKYPE conversations while sitting in a busy coffee shop.
• No batteries required
• Great for conference calls
• Dimensions: 2 3/8”dia. x 5/8”H

Darling, when you stand next to me I feel I could pass any test
Without you I am just a Belkin F8E724 Mobility Kit for Roady XT and Xpress.
My TunePower Battery would compliment you, and give to you four or five hours
My headphones include an XM antenna that increases your range with its power,
My car clip will hold you so tight that you’ll sigh, feeling safer than you’ve ever felt,
And there’s another exactly the same that would hold you, only this one clips down at my belt.
But without you I’m empty and pointless and honestly don’t even know where to begin.
And that’s what this Mobility Kit would be like to someone if they didn’t have their own XM.
So darling, thank heaven that I have a subscription to you and I feel so so blessed.
When you call me your Belkin F8E724 Mobility Kit for Roady XT and Xpress.

Warranty: One year Belkin

Features:

• The Mobility Kit contains everything you need to turn the Delphi RoadyXT or the Audiovox Xpress XM Satellite radio receiver into a portable unit.
• Just slide your radio into the Belkin dock, slip on the headphones, and you’re ready to roll.
• Combines the utility of the TunePower
  with the versatility of antenna headphones to give you a breakthrough,
  portable listening 
• Charges using a Home Power Adapter through an AC
  outlet (120V only)
• The
  TunePower battery pack attaches to your Plug-n-Play receiver with a
  custom sleeve 
• The headphones feature a hidden antenna system,
  offering portability and enhanced XM satellite reception.
• Offers easy portability with convenient sleeve and belt clip
• Rechargeable battery provides 4-5 hours of playtime

In the box:

• TunePower rechargeable battery pack for Xpress or RoadyXT
• AC Adapter with attached 80” DC output cord (DC Output: 5V/2A)
• Headphones with built-in XM antenna and an attached 4’ cord (proprietary plug)
• TunePower sleeve for RoadyXT
• TunePower sleeve for Xpress
• Spacer for RoadyXT
• Spacer for Xpress
• Belt clip
• User Manual

If you’ve been on the internet long enough to wish we’d made that i
capital, you know the name of Alan Moore. He’s the author of such
movies as REMOVED AT WRITER’S REQUEST and REMOVED AT WRITER’S REQUEST and the classic REMOVED AT WRITER’S REQUEST.
To the best of our knowledge, Mr. Moore has never been involved with
the Sandisk 512mb Memory Stick Pro 4 Pack, but we certainly would like
to suggest to him that it is the sort of thing that he might enjoy.

First
of all, the Sandisk 512mb Memory Stick Pro 4 Pack is equipped with
MagicGate technology. This fusion of science and the black arts is the
very sort of thing that has always caught his artistic eye. Secondly,
the Sandisk 512mb Memory Stick Pro 4 Pack only works with Memory Stick
Pro enabled devices. Some might say this is a forgotten format, but
let’s be honest, forgotten is what Alan Moore uses best. And if he’s
not interested we think we can get Grant Morrison. If we think hard
enough, it’ll come true!

Thirdly, when added together, the
Sandisk 512mb Memory Stick Pro 4 Pack is slightly over two gigs of
memory. On something like this, Mr. Moore would surely have more than
enough room for all of his self-composed music, with maybe a little
space left over for his “People I Will Never Work With Again” list.
Come to think of it, you might want to pick up a box of these yourself,
Harlan Ellison.

Finally, the Sandisk 512mb Memory Stick Pro 4 Pack has a high-speed data transfer rate that can even handle DVD-Quality
video. There’s not a chance this will ever get used, mind you, unless
maybe by Dave Gibbons, but it can’t hurt to know it is there.

We
can’t go back and un-invent the comic book trade paperback, although we
would if we could, Mr. Moore. All we can do is point out the poor
little Sandisk 512mb Memory Stick Pro 4 Pack that could benefit from
your attention. I mean, if you can make Supreme interesting, you can
save anything!

Warranty: 90 days

Features:

• 512 MB Memory Capacity
• Memory Card Quantity: 4×512MB
• High-Speed Data Transfer
• Built-in MagicGate Technology For Copyright-Protected Content
• Records And Plays High Quality Video
• Capture, Save, And Store Valuable Digital Data
• 15 Mbps data transfer rate enables copying DVD-quality video in real time
• Prevents data loss when power is suddenly cut-off or if the media is removed accidentally
• Application/Usage: Select Sony Digital Cameras, Music Players, Camcorders, PDAs and Cell Phones
• Note: PlayStation Portable (PSP) uses Pro Duo format, not standard Pro size

Memory Stick media capacity:

• 3 megapixel images – 302 per 512MB stick
• 4 megapixel images – 242 per 512MB stick
• 5 megapixel images – 188 per 512MB stick
• 6 megapixel images – 157 per 512MB stick
• 7 megapixel images – 137 per 512MB stick
• 8 megapixel images – 121 per 512MB stick
• Video recording (H.264/AVC) 1000kbps video, 128kbps stereo audio, 480×270, 30fps: 50 minutes per stick
• Music recording time @ 320kbps: 3h 10m per 512MB stick

American Builder
22-piece driver set
American Builder
Look at everything you get

Got a three foot measuring tape
Utility Knife with a Snap-Off blade
It’s 5 and 1/4 inches long
When the tip gets dull snap and it’s gone

American Builder
22-piece driver set
American Builder
Girl, we ain’t even finshed yet

Got some tweezers of 4 1/2” length
A drive bit set take you to the brink
It’s got nine pieces and a holster too
I can spend my time drivin’ screws with you

Yeah, builder
We can also mennn-tion
American Builder
The driver bit ex-tennnntion

I didn’t bring up the screwdrivers
Flat and a Phillps, that’s two there sir
Plus a five piece socket set that’s ace
And a really cool hard shell storage case

American Builder
Get one more thing too-ooh
American Builder
Look at what’s for youu-ooh

We got a Power Driver see
It’s operated by two batteries
They aren’t included but what the hey
You can pick some it takes AAA

Yeah builder
22-piece driver set
American Builder
You’ll be a craftsman yeh-et-eh-et-ehhh-et

Oh yeah
Oh yeah
Oh yeah
Oh yeah

Goodbye American Builder
We sold you and now you will ship

 Warranty: 90 days

Features:

• The American Builder 22-piece driver set is a perfect kit for around the house or office.
• It’s probably worth the $2, but barely
• Battery Operated Power Driver (2 AAA Batteries Not Included)
• 3 Foot Long Metal Measuring Tape
• 4 1/2” Long Tweezers
• 1 Piece Precesion Flat Head Screwdriver
• 1 Piece Precesion Flat Philips Screwdriver
• 5 1/4” Long Utility Knife with Retractable Snap-Off 1/4” Section Blade
• 9 piece Drive Bit Set with Holster (Flat Head 3, 4, 5; Philips Head 0,1; T10, T15, T20, T25 Bits)
• 5 Piece Socket Set (10mm, 9mm, 8mm, 6mm, 5mm)
• Driver Bit Extension
• Hard Shell Storage Case

Dear Marcus-Neiman,

I am writing to you on my new Razer
Pro|Type Keyboard to complain about an issue with your cookies. A few
weeks ago, the very afternoon I programmed my Razer Pro|Type Keyboard
with the ten different profiles that were easy to autoswap on the fly,
I stopped by your cafe for lunch. While I was there I left behind my
grandmother’s cookie recipe that has been handed down for generations,
completely by mistake. When I got home I plugged my iPod into the
attached dock, which allowed it to sync and charge at the same time.
Just as I was hooking the line-out to my stereo, I heard the little
chime that meant I had mail. I used the programmable media buttons to
open my email program of choice, as well as my mp3 player. You see, I
always listen to Marcus-Neiman Presents: A Photek vs Goldie Christmas
when reading my email. But what I saw next made my jingle bells cease
all rock. For in my box was a cyberletter from a woman and her
daughter. A woman and her daughter who had bought my grandmother’s
recipe from Marcus-Neiman for two hundred and fifty dollars. Needless
to say, I jumped to my feet in shock, pulling the cords from my Razer
Pro|Type Keyboard’s two USB ports and gold plated USB
connector, which fell to the floor. I even knocked over the two
included iPod adaptors. Marcus-Neiman, I demand that you immediately
pay me all profits from my grandmother’s cookie recipe, which your
company stole from me and my family. I await your reply.

Sincerely,
John Ade, Esq
Nigerian Internet Attorney

Warranty: One year Razer

Features:

• iPod Dock: Synchronize and charge your iPod easily
• 10 Customizable Profiles: Configure keyboard profiles according to your needs
• 10 Programmable Keys: Switch Profiles and launch applications with a touch of a button
• Ultra Touch-sensitive keys: For enhanced and more precise key response
• On-the-Fly Profile Switching: Auto swap keyboard profiles upon program detection
• Multimedia Hub: Includes line-out and 2 USB ports for convenient connection to your peripherals
• Media Hot Keys: Provide one-touch access to media programs

In the box:

• Razer Pro|Type Keyboard
• User’s manual and Driver disc
• Two (2) iPod adaptors

Tiny, ferocious dino-terror from the past! Whirring, mindless
robo-terror from the future! Together in a time that is not their own,
in a single, scary robo-dino machine-creature!

Dare you
muster the hubris to think you can control it? Dare you turn it loose
in the hallways of your domicile? Secure your children! Lock up your
house cats! Put the eggs somewhere high up where Robo-Reptile can’t
reach (they like eggs a lot for some reason)! And brace yourself for
the epic struggle of all time!

Just as cavemen fought for
their lives against the dinosaurs—just as future humans resist the
Terminators—so too shall you be tested, against a soulless amalgam of
both! But don’t get too freaked out about it; the amalgam is pretty
small.

Warranty: 90 days

Features:

• Mini Roboreptile™ Requires 2 x AAA
  batteries (not included). Install the batteries into the battery
  compartment on its belly and move the black switch on his chest to the
  ON position.
• Walks on four legs.
• Sweeping tail and neck.
• Move his jaw with the lever.
• Rcommended for ages 3 and up.

What are they thinking at Bulova? This classically-styled, elegant
gold-and-silver-tone timekeeper is water-resistant to a hundred feet!
Now who’s going to swim to a depth of a hundred feet in a
fancy-schmancy watch like this, hunh? Jane Bond? On a secret mission
that takes her from cocktail hour to underwater demolitions ops with no
time to change?

Shoot, they might as well print calling cards on Kevlar. Or make specially-treated wine glasses that resist snakebites. Crazy.

Well,
at least when you’re taking brunch on a yacht and this watch slips off
your wrist and into the clear, shallow water of the Caribbean, you can
snorkel down there and fetch it. Bulova, man! Well, what do you expect
from a company that got its start harvesting caviar from cattle?

Oh, they didn’t? Hunh. Then why are they called that?

Warranty: One Year Manufacturer

Features:

• Style: Casual
• Size: Women’s
• Case: Two tone stainless steel
• Dial Color: White dial with goldtone hands and hour markers
• Bracelet: Two tone stainless steel
• Clasp Type: Jewelry
• Movement: Japan quartz
• Crystal: Mineral
• Case Diameter: 24 mm
• Case Thickness: 13 mm
• Water Resistant: 30 meters
• Bracelet Width: 5 mm
• Bracelet Length: 8.0 inches
• Material: Stainless steel

In the box:

• Watch
• Warranty Card

Gregor Sansa Awoke One Morning From Troubled Dreams To Find
Himself Transformed In His Bed Into A Conveniently Compact Media Player

He was lying on his durable alloy casing, sleek and
scratch-resistant. “This is awesome!” Gregor thought, and immediately
set about fiddling with his own easy-to-use, backlit controls.

“Gregor!” his mother called from the hall. “It’s quarter to eight! Get up!”

IM_UP_ALREADY_JEEZE.mp3, Gregor played in reply. Alerted now that Gregor was still at home, the rest of his family chimed in.

“You alright in there, Greg?” his father called.

“Whoa,
you sound great,” his sister said from the next room. “Much nicer EQ
than usual.” Gregor did not reply, though he could have, with an mp3, WMA file, WMA-DRM10 (PlaysForSure) file or wav from his 64-hour library.

“Are
you ready for work?” his mother yelled. “Your carpool’s here already.
What are you doing in there, playing with yourself?” It reminded Gregor
that he’d seen something on YouTube where people had figured out how to
play Doom and Super Mario Brothers on media players like himself. He’d
have to figure that out, though it seemed to him that the controls
would be unwieldy to an almost idiotic degree.

“C’mon, Greg,
we’re gonna be late,” came a new voice. It was Freddy, Gregor’s ride to
work. “Let’s get a move on,” he said, rapping on the door to Gregor’s
room as he let himself in. “If I miss another morning meeting…” just
then he caught sight of Gregor’s proportionately large TFT color screen. “Hey, sweet!” he said. “You got a digital voice recorder on you there, Greg?”

“You got a digital voice recorder on you there, Greg?” Gregor answered in Freddy’s own voice, clear and loud.

“Awesome. Hey, for once maybe you’ll be useful at the office now,” Freddy said.

HAHAHA.wma, Gregor played sarcastically.

“What’s
going on in there, Greggy?” asked Mrs. Sansa as she crowded past Freddy
and into Gregor’s room. When she saw the slim, stylish e260 where her
son should have been, she gasped. “Oh, my!”

“Isn’t it cool?” Freddy asked.

“It’s TOTALLY cool,” said Gregor’s sister, who had appeared in the doorway. “I want to put my Spring Break slideshow on him.”

“There’ll
be time for that later,” Mr. Sansa said, pushing his way into the room.
Right now, let’s just take a moment to be thankful for this wonderful
occurrence—this marvelous… Verwandlung!”

“Ugh, cut it with the German, dad,” Gregor’s sister said, rolling her eyes.

“But
it is!” Mr. Sansa said, almost crying now. “Marvelous!” Gregor played a
video of a butterfly emerging from its chrysalis, and his family
gathered round to embrace him, chittering at him with their mandibles
and stroking him with their antennal flagellae.

Warranty: 90 days Woot

Ships: Via Fedex Home Delivery

Features:

• Sleek, thin design with large 1.8” TFT color screen for easy viewing
• Simple to use, back-lit controls for fast device interface navigation
• User replaceable and rechargeable Lithium Ion battery for up to 20 hours of battery life
• Features microSD expansion slot for additional memory capacity
• Supports SanDisk TrustedFlash and Gruvi content cards
• Digital FM tuner, on-the-fly FM recording, and voice recording
• Supports Subscription Music Stores

Specifications:

• Memory capacity: 4GB
• Memory type: Flash memory
• External memory: MicroSD card slot
• Audio file format: MP3, WMA, WMA-DRM10 (PlaysForSure), WAV
• Hours of music content: 64 hours
• Still image file format: JPEG, TIFF, PNG, BMP, GIF
• Video format: AVI, MPEG, MPE/VOB (unprotected), DAT, ASF, QuickTime MOV (6.5 or higher), WMV (Media Player 10 required) all must be converted by Sansa Media Converter
• Tuner type: Digital FM tuner
• Tuner memory: 20
• Display: 1.8-inch TFT color LCD display
• Power supply: Rechargeable lithium ion battery, user replaceable (included), USB charging
• Battery life: Up to 20 hours
• Connectors: Headdphone jack, USB 2.0 port
• Microphone: Built-in microphone
• FM recording
• Voice recording
• Microsoft PlaysFor Sure
• Dimension: 3.5×1.74×0.56 inches (WxHxD)
• Weight: 2.7 ounces

System Requirements

• Windows XP
• Windows Media Player 10+
• Intel Pentium class PC or higher
• USB 2.0 port required for hi-speed transfer

Includes:

• Sandisk Sansa e260 4GB Media Player
• USB cable
• Earbuds

A monsignor crosses a square in Torino. Amid the sounds of pigeons
on the cobblestones, he thinks he hears a whisper: “160GB 7200rpm
Serial ATA hard drive.” He looks around, sees no one, shudders.

In a darkened bedroom in the Missouri countryside, a boy jerks upright and screams: “Dual-layer DVD burner.” His parents awaken and rush to his room, only to find their son sleeping peacefully.

In the middle of a segment on novelty wines, a Glasgow morning-TV host blurts, “One gig DDR
memory.” She cannot explain why. All recordings of the program show
only a half-second of static at the precise point when the incident
occurred.

Two archaeologists in a cavern in Chile uncover
what appear to be words hewn in the rock: “Decent Athlon 64 processor.”
As one turns to ask the other what it means, tremors wrench the cavern.
The archaeologists barely escape the cave-in with their lives, and
never speak of the incident again.

A woman is pulled,
unconscious, from turbulent waters off of Hokkaido. In bed at a nearby
hospital, she suddenly opens her eyes, murmurs, “Open PCI-E slot, for upgrading to a better video card,” and expires.

Shadows
are falling. Forces are shifting. Something dark and wet and affordable
crawls onto the stage, groaning an unholy dirge of corruption. In a
million nightmares at once, a single profane phrase echoes like the
wild eep of the damned…”Acer Aspire T180-UA380B Desktop Computer.”

Warranty: 90 days Acer

Features:

• Processor: AMD Athlon 64 3800+ 2.4GHz
• Memory: 1GB DDR2
• Hard Drive: 160GB 7200rpm SATA
• Optical drive: DL DVD±RW
• Ethernet: Gigabit LAN
• Memory card Flash Reader
• Operating system: Windows Vista Home Basic

Supported Memory Cards:

• SmartMedia
• xD
• CompacFlash I/II
• SD
• MultiMedia Card
• Memory Stick/PRO

Case Features:

• Two (2) 5.25-inch external drive bays
• Two (2) 3.5-inch external drive bays
• Four (4) 3.5-inch internal drive bays

Front Panel I/O ports:

• Two (2) USB ports
• Mic in
• Headphone in

Rear I/O ports:

• Three (3) USB ports
• Two (2) PS/2 ports
• One (1) 9-pin Serial port
• One (1) 15-pin VGA port
• One (1) Parallel port
• Four (4) USB ports
• One (1) IEEE 1394 FireWire port
• RJ-45 Ethernet port
• Six (6) Audio channels

Inlcuded:

• Acer Aspire Athlon 64 3800+ System
• Microsoft Windows Vista Home pre-installed
• Mouse
• Keyboard
• Speakers
• Power cord

A sunny summer day. Timestamp: 06 JUL 1997 2:37
PM. A little girl in one of those kiddie swimming pools with flexible
sides, a couple of feet deep. “Daddy, come in the water.” Daddy hoists
a leg, mugs for the camera, side-flops in. The side of the pool
collapses. Daddy and daughter are borne out into the yard on the
resulting wave. Oh, the looks on their faces, the confusion and terror.
You watch it again and again. And again.

You don’t care
anymore what America thinks the funniest home video is. You found it
one Sunday evening. And with your Direct TV/Tivo Remote DTV36, you can replay it over and over. And over.

Don’t
let the name fool you. It works with series 1, 2, and 3 TiVos, whether they’re Direct TV models or not. At this price, put one in every
room. Or use them on pranking missions, crouching outside the homes of
your friends and neighbors and controlling their TiVos as if by magic.
If you get caught and your DTV36 remote gets confiscated or destroyed, big deal. You’re only out 99 cents.

You
weren’t there on that magical July afternoon in 1997, wherever “there” was.
But you’ve got the next best thing: the right episode on your TiVo, and
the right remote in your hand. So relive it, in slo-mo and reverse and
sped-up, with the push of a button, again and again.

And again.

Warranty: 90 Day Woot

Specifications:

• Model: DTV36
• Number of Buttons/Switches: 36
• Programmable and Learning: Programmable
• Color: Black
• Top Button: Direct TV
• Live TV Button: Yes
• TV Power Button: Yes
• Four-Directional Round Pad: Yes
• Thumbs Down and Thumbs Up Buttons: Yes
• Mute Button: Yes
• Record Button: Yes
• Volume UP / Down Toggle: Yes
• Channel UP / Down Toggle: Yes
• Play Button: Yes
• Rewind Button: Yes
• Fast Forward Button: Yes
• Pause Button: Yes
• Slow Button: Yes
• Instant Play Button: Yes
• Skip to Tick / 30-Second Skip Button: Yes
• 0-9 Number Buttons: Yes
• Clear Button: Yes
• Enter / Last Button: Yes
• Info Button: Yes
• Guide Button: Yes
• Window Button: Yes
• SAT / TV Switch Button: Yes
• Exit Button: Yes
• List Button: Yes
• Ratio Button: No
• TV Input Button: Yes

Hey, you might need this: instructions for setting up this remote.

Man, the thing about artists, man, it’s that you can’t always count
on ‘em to do the things you wanna do. Like, Dylan at that folk
festival, jumped up and went electric and blew everyone’s mind, man. It
was quality, but not for everybody. And Pete Seeger wasn’t never the
same after that. Man, that’s what it’s like with a Linksys WMCE54AG Wireless Digital Multimedia Center.

This Linksys WMCE54AG Wireless
Digital Multimedia Center streams all the video on music on your
Windows Media Center PC through a G or A wireless network, or Ethernet
cable. You can record like a TiVo ‘cause there’s a hard drive, and a
program guide too. And there’s a remote, man, cause it ain’t forgot
where the roots grow from.

The Linksys WMCE54AG Wireless
Digital Multimedia Center is talented, too. It can handle Composite,
S-Video, Component, Analog Audio-Out, Optical Audio-Out, and it even
knows USB like the kids use. People say genius, man, I say right on.

But the thing is, the Linksys WMCE54AG Wireless Digital Multimedia Center ain’t gonna work with just anything. It wants Windows XP Media Center Edition 2005. That’s just where the Linksys WMCE54AG Wireless Digital Multimedia Center has its head right now. man. What you gonna do?

Warranty: 90 days

Features

• Connects your Home Entertainment Center to a Windows Media Center PC through a Wireless-A, Wireless-G, or wired network
• Watch
  home or downloaded digital movies and browse your digital pictures on
  your television. Also watch, pause, and record live TV shows
• Listen to your digital music collection and Internet radio through your stereo system
• Select entertainment from on-screen menus with the easy-to-use remote control

Specifications

• Standards – 802.11a/g and 802.3u
• Ports/Buttons
  o Ethernet, USB, Video Out (Composite, S-Video, Component), Audio Out (Analog R/L, SPDIF Optical), IR Out
  o Power, Standby, NDI/MDI-X, Video Select, Enter, Back, Up, Down, Left, Right
• Cable Type – CAT 5 Ethernet, RCA Audio, RCA Video, S-Video, Toslink Optical, Component Video, USB
• Dimemsions – 17”(w) x 2”(h) x 12.25”(d)
• Weight – 5.71 lbs

System Requirements

• Windows Media Center PC with Windows XP Media Center Edition 2005
• Wireless-A, Wireless-G or a wired Network
• Television Set with RCA Audio and Video Inputs
• CD-ROM Drive

Package Contents

• Dual-Band Wireless A/G Media Center Extender
• Setup Wizard CD-ROM
• Remote Control
• RCA Audio/Video Cables
• S-Video Cable
• Ethernet Cable
• User Guide
• Quick Install

It ain’t enough to just look tough. The Razer Protone m250 Street-Style Earphones knows what they all know, from Al Capone to Mad Frankie Fraser to Chen Chi-li to Sun Tzu. The street don’t care unless you can back it up.

The Razer Protone m250 Street-Style Earphones got those rubber-coated clip arms, sure. But that’s why they fit so good, even when you gotta run. Those high-quality metal casings ain’t just some thrift store bling, they got a purpose. It ain’t easy to get in the way of a purpose. Plus that ProBass technology was made by scientists, by people who know. Experts. You think you can own the street on your own, you’re done, right outta the gate. You gotta be a leader if you want to get the best. Maybe smile a little, maybe flash the money. That’s why these Razer Protone m250 Street-Style Earphones have protone™ m250’s. That means deep enhanced bass designed for digital players. Noise isolation, maximized through ergonomic design.

You can pick your color, black or white. Black or white, mister, your choice! That’s a lesson right there. Always give people a choice, it doesn’t matter what it is, as long as it’s there. You say “black or white, mister, they both have a 3.77 ft cable!” and they feel like they’re working with you. Like they got influence. Like you’re partners. And why not, you know? It never hurts to have somebody who likes you out on the street. A leader can never have too many connections. Just remember who’s in charge.

You also get a custom designed carrying case, and a jet-set adaptor for air travel, so you don’t gotta to rely on some stewardess bringing you headphones. Cause you gotta be ready, as well, you gotta know you can do it alone. You gotta be ready for the day you get tested, because it’s coming and there’s nothing you can do except wait. Watch “Black Caesar”. But watch it with the Razer Protone m250 Street-Style Earphones plugged in.

You’ll understand.

Warranty: One year

Features:

• Street-Style Clip Earphones
• Rubber-coated clip arms combine with high quality metal casings for an aerodynamic secure fit
• Ultimate in style, comfort & portability. Solid clips ensure a firm grip during active usage
• With light & compact construction, the sleek metal discs cling effortlessly to the curvature of the ears
• Powered by Razer’s own ProBass™ Technology
• protone™ m250 send out deeply enhanced bass specifically engineered for digital players
• Providing greater sound output and a more accurate music reproduction
• Noise isolation is further maximized through ergonomic design
• Custom-designed carrying case
• Includes a jet-set adaptor for air travel providing total convenience in storage and portability

Specifications:

• Frequency Response: 50-20,000Hz
• Dynamic Transducer
• Impedance: 32 ohms
• Max Sound Pressure Level (SPL): 105dB
• Cable Length: 1.15/ 3.77ft
• 3.5mm connector plug
• Max Power Rating 50mW
• Weight 38g (with cable)

Ah, Mustek. What is it about that awful name? And don’t say it’s the… well… sub-elite
reputation. Sure, there’s that, but in our line of work, you can’t
afford to get too grossed out every time you put your hands on a
product without a luxury brand name.

It’s just the name
itself, Mustek. Mustek. Mustek. Awful. Makes us think of musk, or
mollusks, or moist mustaches. It could be an exotic species of
semi-aquatic rodent, or the name of a mildew-resistant textile.

But
after we’re all done wrinkling our collective noses at this unpleasant
bit of nomenclature, let’s not forget to notice this camera’s one
totally redeeming virtue: It’s fifty bucks. Can’t you think of a few
places you might want to stash a fifty-dollar camera? Particularly one
with a six-megapixel resolution and big ol’ 2.4-inch LCD?

Keep
it in the glove box of your car, ready to document a fender-bender. Or
in your work bag, so the next time someone flips out at your subway
stop, you can sell the pictures to the POST. Or leave it on the front windowsill, all set to catch those rotten neighbor kids knocking over your garbage cans.

Shoot,
fifty dollars isn’t even date money in a lot of towns anymore. Weigh it
against the feeling of satisfaction or disappointment you’re going to
have the next time you need an extra camera at the ready. We think,
like Elizabeth Hurley after the Divine Brown incident, you’re gonna be
glad you dropped a Grant.

Warranty: 90 days

Features:

• 6MP CCD Sensor
• 3x Optical Zoom
• 2.4” TFT LCD Display
• 320×240 Video Resolution
• Built-In Flash
• Built-In 16MB Internal Flash Memory
• SD Card Slot
• Support SD Card Memory (up to 1GB) 
• F = 2.8(W) – 4.8 (T)
• f = 6.5mm – 16.5mm
• Web Cam Capablility
• 2X AA (alkaline or Ni-MH rechargeable) batteries
• AC-DC Adapter Power Supply Capable

In the box:

• Digital Camera
• USB Cable
• User’s Manual
• Getting Started
• Software CD
• Camera Pouch
• Camera Strap
• AV Cable
• 2 AA Batteries

You’re smooth as an Usher album. You never run out of candles or
wine. You got a rug made out of every deadly animal known to man. And
you know how ladies dig the light from an equalizer. All the R&B
videos have one. From Usher to R. Kelly to George Michael, it’s the one
constant steady image. So you know you want the Tokyo Flash Men’s
Equalizer H-Frequency Watch.

Shhh, don’t rush it, baby. You
gotta savor the love. They took over a year of development to get this
watch right. It ain’t some crazy pimp watch that don’t ever shut up.
This is a man’s watch, baby. For a man.

The Tokyo Flash Men’s Equalizer H-Frequency Watch cascades the light in a real equalizer effect. But this ain’t no LCD, no sir. It’s an Advanced LCD. There’s only one LED in the whole thing. That means less of a power drain, and that means more energy. For love.

See,
you can’t just look at this watch and know everything. You gotta learn
it, you gotta take the time to study it, figure out what the watch
wants to tell you and what it needs. You gotta know this watch better
than anyone else. And then? You reap the rewards.

This Tokyo
Flash Men’s Equalizer H-Frequency Watch is a beautiful thing. You can
show it off to your friends and make ‘em jealous. Don’t ever let it
forget how special it is.

Warranty: One Year Manufacturer

Features:

• The display pushes up the top row of lights and they float back down in
  a real equalizer effect, all the lights fall down off the face
  of the watch to leave only two lights to indicate the time for 5
  seconds, then the two lights also trail off.
• The
  Cutting Edge Technology used in this timepiece has never been seen
  before in the watch industry and may revolutionize how some watches are
  made. It took over a full year of research and development as well as
  re-engineered 9 times to perfect this watch.
• Every angle,
  every material and every component was picked apart by the designers
  and engineers to create the best possible timepiece.
• Series: Equalizer – High Frequency
• Style: Casual
• Size: Men’s
• Case: Stainless steel
• Dial Color: Digital, display time and date
• Bracelet: Stainless steel
• Clasp Type: Deployment
• Movement: Japan quartz
• Crystal: Mineral
• Case Diameter: 49 mm
• Case Thickness: 12 mm
• Water Resistant: 30 meters
• Bracelet Width: 29 mm
• Bracelet Length: 8.5 inches
• Other: Blue LED lights
• Material: Stainless steel

In the box:

• Watch
• Warranty Card

Seven Alternatives To The Early Warning EW-5015:

01.
Build your own for a fraction of the cost (if you know anything about
Dual Conversion Superheterodyne receivers and happen to have the
necessary components around the house)

02. As soon as you encounter a speed trap, switch into Cloak Mode. Take first available exit for the Batcave.

03. Maybe a fake moustache would help?

04.
“I’m sorry, officer, it’s just that I’m only a few minutes from home
and I really, really, really badly have to—uh-oh.” Urinate in driver’s
seat.

05. Keep on forkin’ over huge sums of your hard-earned scratch to the MAN, man.

06.
Straighten curves, flatten hills, escape by jumping the washed-out
bridge over Whiskey Crick. Any attempt to follow you will leave the
deputy’s car harmlessly but comically suspended in a tree.

07. Slow down (so crazy it just might work).

Warranty: One year

Features:

• Detection of All Current Radar and Laser Guns
• 360 degree Laser Protection
• Instant On or Pulsed Radar Detection
• Undetectable by VG-2 and Spectre/VG-2 Alert
• Safety Alert System - alerts you to road hazards, emergency vehicles, railroad crossings and mor
• Rotary Volume Control
• High resolution color LED display with 11 indicators
• Digital Voice Alert system
• Anti-Falsing Circuitry
• City/Highway Mode Selection
• Auto Mute Mode
• 3 Step Display Brightness Selection
• Tutorial Mode Selection
• VG-2 On/Off

Radar Specifications:

• Receiver Type: Dual Conversion Super-heterodyne
• Antenna Type: Linear Polarized, Self Contained Antenna
• Detector Type: Scanning Frequency Discriminator
• Frequency of Operation: 10.525GHz plus/minus 50MHz(X-Band)
• Frequency of Operation: 24.150GHz plus/minus 100MHz(K-Band)
• Frequency of Operation: 34.700GHz plus/minus 1,300MHz (Ka Super wide-band)

Laser Specifications:

• Receiver Type: Pulsed Laser Signal Receiver
• Detector Type: Digital Signal Processor; Pulse Width Discriminator
• Opto Sensor: Dual Convex Condenser Lens
• Spectral Response: 800-1,100nm

General:

• Temperature Range: -4 to 158 degrees F (-20 to 70 degrees C)
• Power requirements: 12-16VDC, 310mA (Negative Ground)
• Weight: 4.7 Ounces
• Dimensions: 1.3” (H) X 2.7” (W) X 4.4” (D)

In the box:

• Radar Detector
• DC Coil Power Cable
• Windshield Mount with Dual Suction Cup
• 1” X 1 1/2” Strip of Velcro for Dash Mount
• Extra 2 Amp Fuse
• Owner’s Manual

I met her at a web page that I frequent
Where I sometimes buy things that I like to get
Like a headset
A Steelsound 3H Professional Gaming Headset

The copy said “lightweight and folded” yet
I was worried about the plug that I’d find on the end of my
Headset
And what sort that I’d get
A Steelsound 3H Professional Gaming Headset

Well, I’m not the world’s strongest Warcraft vet
But they say the sound is optimal as it can get
For a headset
Steelsound 3H Professional Gaming Headset

It has an omni-directional microphone
So you can talk to other gamers and not feel alone
on your headset
Steelsound 3H Professional Gaming Headset
I bet you want this headset

Well, it folds up nice and hides away
The bass is just perfect most people say
And the cable anyone can see
Isn’t even a bit like USB
It’s 6 and a half feet end to end
And the 3.5mm plug my friend
Is on the headset
The Steelsound 3H Professional Gaming Headset
Head head head head headset

We looked on the form
We asked all our reps
We got down on our knees
We sliced up a wheel of farmstead cheese

And that’s the way that you’re buyin’ it, jack
These over-the-head Binaural ear cup black
Steelsound 3H Professional Gaming Headset
That’s what you will all get

It’s not USB and we’re sure this time
So don’t think there’s a chance that you’ll be surprised
About these headsets
Steelsound 3H Professional Gaming Headset
Wish I did the podcaaaaaast

Headset
Steelsound 3H Professional Gaming Headset
Head head head head headsets

Headset
Steelsound 3H Professional Gaming Headset
Don’t you know it’s name yet

Warranty: One year

Features:

• Foldable/collapsible lightweight gaming headset
• Retractable uni-directional microphone system
• Comfortable to use, easy to transport
• Developed in cooperation with professional gamers
• Strong bass for optimal in-game sound projection
• Optimized for RTS and MMO games
• 40mm SteelSound SunDancer(LCP) Units

Technical Information:

• Connectivity Technology: 6 1/2 foot cable with 3.5mm Plug
• Sound Mode: Stereo Output
• Frequency Response Earpiece: 10Hz to 27kHz
• Earpiece: Over-the-head Binaural Ear-cup
• Driver Type: 40 mm

Microphone:

• Microphone Type: Retractable Boom
• Frequency Response Microphone: 50Hz to 18kHz
• Microphone Sensitivity: -40 dB
• Pickup Pattern: Non-directional microphone system

In the box:

• Headphones

Ever have a problem time seeing your balls in the dark? Put away
that night vision camera, Paris, the solution to your problem is here.
We’ve got the Twilight Tracer 2pack Lighted Golf Balls w/2 Sacks &
4 Tees.

These Twilight Tracer balls contain proprietary circuitry and two red LED
lights so you can make it easy for everyone to see your balls on the
fairway. Each of these balls conform to official weight, size,
symmetry, velocity and distance standards.

Are you the
organized type? Then you’re in luck! Each of the two balls comes neatly
packed in its own sack. No more worry that one of your balls will be
damaged from slamming together! Plus these lithium battery powered
balls are designed to flash for five to six minutes after a strong hit
from a golf club. If you prefer a more gentle stroke, that’s no
problem, because Twilight Tracer designed these balls to be turned on
with a drop from an average height of 12cm. That’s about 5 inches, so
it shouldn’t be too intimidating.

You can whack these balls
over four hundred and fifty times before they run out of juice. The set
also comes with four tees to ensure proper ball placement. No more
constant readjustments! We promise you, even before you hit the
showers, the guys you play with will be very impressed by your Twilight
Tracer 2ack Lighted Golf Balls w/2 Sacks & 4 Tees.

Features:

• Number of layers: 3
• Cover thickness: 0.08 inches
• Compression ratio: 80
• Weight: 1.53 oz.
• Circumference of ball: 5.28135″
• 3 volt lithium battery
• Approximately 40 hours of battery life
• 7.2 flashes per second
• 5 Minute duration

I’m a robot
Little robot
I’m a mini
Robosapien too
I’m on Woot here
Proud to be here
Sell real cheap here
Robosapien too
Like a golem
Fearin’ no one
My arms please pose ‘em
Robosapien too
Mini Robosapien ooo
And you want to buy me you do
Get a Robosapien or twooo

And I take AAA I need two but they don’t come along
And they fit in my back then you flip the black switch down to on
I have cool walking action and my eyes light up and I have hands
And they work with some buttons I hope you will help me my friends

I’m a robot
Little robot
Just a mini
Robosapien too
Mini-Robosapien ooo
And you all want to buy me you do
Even though you all don’t know this tune
Like we Robosapiens dooooo

Warranty: 90 days

Features:

• Mini Robosapien™ Requires 2 x AAA
  batteries (not included). Install the batteries into the battery
  compartment on his back and move the black switch on his back to the ON
  position.
• Cool walking action.
• Eyes light up.
• Levered posable arms.
• Working hands activated by buttons
• Recommended for ages 3 and up

Listen, young man; I want to tell you a story. When I was your age—a
free and single man, roaming the world, responsible for myself and
answerable to no one—I was happy. Then, one afternoon in Milwaukee, I
met a woman who changed all that. I got a bad feeling off of her right
from the get-go. She was rude, loud, mean, and she smelled
overpoweringly bad. Plus, at the time of that first meeting, she was
being arrested by four cops—one of whom she’d punched out cold—for
serial acts of animal cruelty.

Still, there was something
about her that intrigued me. I’ll tell you what it was: Her watch. It
was this really sharp-lookin’ Seiko Rivoli with a gray leather band.
Really sharp. I thought to myself: Shoot, anybody with a timepiece that
handsome has got to be in possession of unseen reserves of taste, style
and good judgment. So I bailed her out and we began a romance.

Well,
actually, romance is the wrong word. What’s a word for something
generally shaped like a romance, but where the object is for one party
to grind the other into a jelly of blood, bone fragments and
submission? Anyway, she gambled my salary away, she was prone to
unpredictable mood swings, she hated my family—actually urinated in my
father’s Cream-of-Wheat once, that was a story right there—and ran a
Saturday-night toad-fighting league in our garage for years.

After
she finally died (in an unimaginably violent toad-gladiator rebellion),
I found out the only reason she had that watch was that she found a
super-good deal on it at some deal-a-day website. ‘Tweren’t a question
of her taste or elegance or refinement or anything. That watch just
happened to have been a good deal, was all.

What I’m
saying is: A wristwatch doesn’t tell you anything about a person. Not
even that she has wrists, necessarily. I lost many happy years at the
expense of that lesson.

Warranty: Three Year Manufacturer

Features:

• Series: Rivoli
• Style: Casual
• Size: Women’s
• Case: Stainless steel
• Dial Color: Silver dial with silver hands and arabic numerals
• Strap: Gray leather
• Clasp Type: Deployment buckle
• Movement: Japan quartz
• Crystal: Hardlex
• Case Diameter: 19 mm
• Case Thickness: 10 mm
• Water Resistant: 30 meters|Strap Width|18 mm|Strap Length|7.5 inches|Material|Leather

In the box:

• Watch
• Warranty Card

The recent death of one of our heroes sent everyone here into a deep
depression. We speak of course of the legendary Evel Knievel. It is in
his honor we offer the Invacare Zoom 220 Blue HMV Scooter.
The weight capacity of 220 pounds means it will hold a normal sized
human being as they speed across the lawn at up to 4.5 MPH.
The foam-filled flat-free 2” wide 8” diameter tires keep the 95 pound
scooter gripping the pavement as you prepare to jump a box of
rattlesnakes* or bowl of cougars**. The Direct Connect battery pack is
simple to remove and easy to charge, and the off-board battery charger
means you can even charge that battery away from the scooter itself.
Tonight Evel is jumping a line of saints in Heaven, but his memory is
still with us here on Earth. Honor him with the Invacare Zoom 220 Blue HMV Scooter.

*What, are you insane? Don’t use this thing to jump a box of freaking rattlesnakes! Your mother and I are very disappointed in your lack of judgement. Go to your room and think about what you’ve done.

**Do not put cougars in a bowl. Bowls are for bears and lions and patriots, not cougars.

Warranty: 36 months on frame, 18 months on transaxle and electronics

Features:

• Color: Blue
• Great for indoor and outdoor use.
• HMV technology providers the tightest turning radius available – similar to a power wheelchair.
• Turning radius: 27”
• Tiller is fully adjustable for proper positioning.
• Simply
  portable in four easy-to-transport pieces, front section with fold-down
  tiller, rear base section, direct connect batteries, and seat.
• Padded vinyl seat for complete comfort.
• Seat swivels 360º with stops every 90º.
• Weight Capacity: 220 lbs.
• 4.0 mph speed range
• Back Height: 13”
• Base Length: 39”
• Base Width: 20”
• Battery: Direct Connect battery pack for simple removal and installation
• Charger: Off-board battery charger lets you charge the battery pack without the HMV
• Flat-free tires provide comfortable and safe ride.
• Tire Size: 2” x 8”
• Ground Clearance: 2”
• Incline Capability: 8 degrees
• Overall Length: 39”
• Overall Width: 20”
• Product Weight: 95 lbs
• Product Weight Capacity: 220 lbs.
• Range: 8 to 10 mile per charge
• Seat Depth: 15”
• Seat Height: 13”
• Seat Style: Padded Seat
• Seat To Floor Height: 17”,18” & 19”
• Seat Width: 15”
• Speed: 4.5 m.p.h.
• Code Approval: E1230 Personal Operating Vehicle code

In the box:

• Scooter
• Tiller
• Battery and Charger
• Padded Seat
• Owner’s Manual

Woot.com
Attn: Complaints Department

Dear Sirs:

A
few weeks ago I got one of your electronic musical products, and soon
as I got it home and plugged it in to my computer, it said “Driver
Update Required”. So I bought a American Builder HW4137
22pc Power Driver Set. I tried using the measuring tape, since it was
easiest, but that didn’t do anything. Undaunted, I tried the Utility
Knife with Snap-Off blade. That blade snapped off. I tried to use the
tweezers with the flat-head screwdriver but this only slipped and
ripped my Faye Valentine costume. Now I was mad. I took the nine piece
drive bit set and the Power Driver and positively attacked the thing. I
was madder than a Star Wars fan after Episode One. The driver shorted
out and caught my Naruto headband on fire. I tried to save the five
piece socket set and driver bit extention, but it was too late, and
everything was lost in the fire. Woot, my question to you is: why did
Gatzby censor all mention of this known issue on the forums? Your
credibility is hanging by a thread, Woot, this is a true freedom of
speech issue and your customers won’t take it for much longer. I
suggest you fire Gatzby before he ruins what little reputation you have
left among the real fans.

Sincerely,
LukeSolo69
6 BoC!!!!
4 Shirts!!!
Survived 10 woot-offs!!!
“Seems to me you lived your life like a candle in the wind” We Miss You, 2Pac!!

 Warranty: 90 days

Features:

• The American Builder 22-piece driver set is a perfect kit for around the house or office.
• It’s probably worth the $2, but barely
• Battery Operated Power Driver (2 AAA Batteries Not Included)
• 3 Foot Long Metal Measuring Tape
• 4 1/2” Long Tweezers
• 1 Piece Precision Flat Head Screwdriver
• 1 Piece Precision Flat Philips Screwdriver
• 5 1/4” Long Utility Knife with Retractable Snap-Off 1/4” Section Blade
• 9 piece Drive Bit Set with Holster (Flat Head 3, 4, 5; Philips Head 0,1; T10, T15, T20, T25 Bits)
• 5 Piece Socket Set (10mm, 9mm, 8mm, 6mm, 5mm)
• Driver Bit Extension
• Hard Shell Storage Case

Anyone who read Alfred Slote’s book My Robot Buddy as a kid
has probably dreamt ever since of having his or her very own
man-machine pal. Who ever had a better friend than the robot Jack gets
for his 10th birthday, Danny One?

As you might remember,
Danny One looks and sounds just like a human kid. Except for his
stiff-legged robot walk, people can’t tell the ‘bot from the boy—and
Jack exploits this confusion when he walks without bending his knees.

It
never bothered us at the time, but thinking about it now, it’s
ridiculous that we accepted this proposition: The robot manufacturers
of the future had supposedly mastered such subtleties as the
replication of human skin, with its fine textures. They duplicated the
unmistakable look of the natural human eye, with its delicate, precise
movements. But somehow they just weren’t quite able to figure out how
to make their automations’ knees bend?

Seriously, the
animatronic Presidents at Disney World have bending knees, and no one’s
going to confuse them with living specimens of homo sapiens.
How complicated can a knee be? Isn’t it just a hinge? Danny One
interacts with people, solves problems, has a winning personality… he’s
a thousand times more advanced than the Honda Human, a thousand times
more realistic-looking than the RealDoll, and a thousand times better
company than Teddy Ruxpin. But even all those lesser inventions have
knee joints.

Actually, it seems like a stiff-legged walk would be harder to engineer. How does Danny One not fall over? How does he get up steps?

Ah, it’s a waste of time to wonder. It’s easy to forget, in these days of The O’Reilly Factor for Kids
and the gay wizards’ rights movement that 1975 was a simpler time for
children’s literature. We didn’t enjoy the book any less for its
implausibility. And it’s easy to poke fun at someone for mis-predicting
the future of technology.

After all, who, back then, would have imagined a robo-companion as strange-looking as Roboquad?

This
creepy little bug suffers no deficiency of articulation points in his
legs. Even so, no one’s going to mistake him for human—or even for a
member of any other native Earth species. But who cares? With its
advanced artificial intelligence and state-of-the-art sensors, Roboquad
can explore and interact with his environment and the people in it. And
personality? You can adjust Roboquad’s behavior with his 68-function
remote control, even setting him on “High Aggression mode” to make him
act angrier, which sounds like kind of a nightmare to us, but whatever
you’re into.

Roboquad is your real robot buddy—play with him
for just a few minutes and you’ll realize what we should have
understood instantly about My Robot Buddy when we read it way
back when: When it comes to robots, the more humanlike they are, the
better suited they are to science fiction for young readers. In the
real world, we want our robot buddies as robot-y as they can get.
That’s Roboquad.

Warranty: 90 days

Features:

• Fully functional artificial intelligent robot interacts with everything in his environment
• Realistic Actions and Interactive Personality
• Volume Control
• Autonomous Behavior Mode and Remote Control
• Light sensor prompts Roboquad to act differently in the dark than in the light
• Sound sensor keeps Roboquad aware of intruders
• Personality settings can be controlled to affect Roboquad’s behaviors
• Autonomous mode allows Roboquad to swarm around his environment
• 4X Leg Motors
• 4X Leg Motor Position Sensors
• 2X Head Motors
• 2X VR Head Position Sensors
• Lens-Focused, Face-Mounted Deep IR Radar Vision
• 1X Microphone
• 1X Light Sensor
• Includes a battery-saving sleep function
• Ages: 8 years and up
• Batteries: 4 C, 3 AAA (not included)

In the box:

• Robot
• Remote Control
• User’s Manual

Oh, The Netgear WPN311 RangeMax Wireless MIMO Network PCI Adapter.
It has a product name that is so long it is hard to make rhymes without laughter.
It supports all the modern Windows and is designed for your PC,
And makes your network powerful and works with Wireless G,
And has seven smart antennas that use advanced smart MIMO tech.
That’s “Multi-In, Multi-Out” and the signal it will constantly check,
And then refine, and all you need is a free PCI slot.
There are even drivers for Vista if that is the OS you got.
It is in fact a refurb but they made sure it works well.
It has WEP encryption, seriously, it’s swell.
Plus you can have enough bandwidth to download songs from your favorite dead rapper,
With your Netgear WPN311 RangeMax Wireless MIMO Network PCI Adapter.

Warranty: 90 days

Features:

• Delivers consistent wireless connections – no more dropped connections or dead spots
• Provides enough bandwidth to support music downloads, file sharing and multimedia applicationsâ€
• Backward compatible with Wireless-G standard products
• Designed for your desktop PC
• Supports Windows Vista
• NETGEARs RangeMax extends your wireless network coverage up to 10 times that of standard 802.11g due to an advanced Smart MIMO (Multi-In,
  Multi-Out) technology that incorporates seven intelligent internal
  antennas in a wireless router.
• The antennas continuously scan your home
  or office, automatically sensing obstacles and electronic interference,
  then dynamically adjust the wireless signal to compensate and maintain
  a clear connection.
• Dimensions: (without antenna):132.8×21.8×121 mm (5.23 x .86×4.76 in)
• Weight: (including antenna): 125 g (4.41 oz)
• Network Speeds 1, 2, 5.5, 6, 9, 11, 12, 18, 24, 36, 48, 54, & 108 Mbps (auto rate capable)
• Interface 32-bit PCI bus
• Hardware-based 40/64-bit & 128-bit WEP encryption, WPA-PSK
• Frequency 2.412 ~ 2.462 GHz (US)

System Requirements

• Desktop PC with Pentium 300MHz 
• Available PCI slot
• Microsoft Windows Vista, XP, 2000, 98SE, Me
• Microsoft Vista Beta Drivers Available

In the box:

• RangeMax Wireless PCI Adapter (WPN311)
• Installation Instruction Sheets
• Warranty/Support Information Card

Whenever a new technology comes along, old-school manufacturers are
never quite sure how to handle it. In their befuddlement, they’ll
sometimes try to graft it wholesale onto an existing technology that
they understand. Some of these hybrids are good ideas, like cell phones
with integrated GPS capability. Others are
not, like the Bluetooth toasters of a few years ago, or the
telegraph-equipped butter churns of yesteryear.

So what shall we make of the RCA 160-Watt Rip & Go 5-Disc Microsystem With 256MB MP3? It seems RCA took a 5-disc, 160w CD boombox and thought, “Hey, I know: let’s give it a tiny little MP3 player, and let the boombox rip CDs directly to it!” Maybe that makes sense: even 256MB of memory (puny by MP3-player
standards) can hold, oh, a hundred songs or so – a bit more than you
could play on the 5-disc changer. And it’s cool that the USB-host function lets you rip those discs to your portable MP3 player, or play said player through the boombox. Useful, we suppose.

But
still – somebody somewhere thought letting your refrigerator share data
with your waffle iron was a can’t-miss idea, so who knows? Perhaps this
RCA Rip & Go will revolutionize the way
we hear music. Perhaps it’ll end up a bizarre curio in the Museum of
Technological Folly. Let history judge!

Warranty: One year

Features:

• 160 watts total power
• Ported speaker enclosure with 4” woofer and 1” tweeter
• Five-CD changer with simultaneous play and load
• Plays MP3, WMA, CD-R/-RW discs
• Portable 256MB MP3 player docks in system for computerless “Rip & Go” use
• 2.4GHz wireless streaming from PC
• Digital AM/FM tuner with 32 station presets
• USB host for MP3 player direct play and CD record/rip to MP3 player
• Two-way LCD remote control

In the box:

• RCA RS2100 main unit
• 2 ported speakers
• Music Navigator remote control
• AM loop antenna
• Portable 256MB MP3 Player
• Earphones
• USB cable
• Wireless Musiclink transceiver
• Users Manual
• PC software and driver CD
• Registration card

My work-day and your work-day are
Spent watchin’ the woot-off
Pressin’ F5 and hopin’ for
The random crap we’re in pursuit of

Talk-in’ ‘bout hey, now! Hey, now! Seiko, Seiko, brand watch
Why’n’cha go ahead and buy it, eh? Move the woot-off on a notch!

Look at yourself, all dressed for work
Almost like a real big wheel
‘Cept that cheapo timepiece makes you look like a jerk
Getcha one that’s stainless steel

Talk-in’ ‘bout hey, now! Hey, now! Seiko, Seiko, brand watch
Why’n’cha go ahead and buy it, eh? Move the woot-off on a notch!

Warranty: Three Year Manufacturer

Features:

• Style: Chronograph
• Size:Men’s
• Case:Stainless steel
• Dial Color: Black dial with white arabic numerals
• Bracelet: Stainless steel
• Clasp Type: Push button deployment
• Movement: Japan chronograph quartz
• Crystal: Hardlex
• Case Diameter: 44 mm
• Case Thickness: 12 mm
• Water Resistant: 100 meters
• Calendar: Date display at 3:00
• Bracelet Width: 20 mm
• Bracelet Length: 9.0 inches
• Subdials: 60 second, 60 minute and 12 hour
• Sweep Second Hand|Yellow
• Other: Alarm
• Bezel Function: Unidirectional elapsed time
• Material: Stainless steel

In the box:

• Watch
• Warranty Card

“Rock, don’t ya find me pretty no more? Don’t I make you happy?”

“Happy? Only thing makes a man happy in this place is a Leakfrog 2 Pack.”

“Oh, Rock, come to bed. Look, I bought this pretty thing just for you. Don’t you wanna see me in it?”

“All I wanna see is a new bottle on this heah table. Them Leakfrogs is
scratch resistant. You scratch resistant, Margie? You got a plastic
housing?”

“Lord knows I tried, Rock. I tried so many times for you.”

“But you didn’t, did ya? You ain’t a success. Not like the Leakfrog 2
Pack. You know how many units we sell in a year? And each one runs on
three AAA
batteries. Sets off an alarm, too. Any water comes up, any water from
any source at all, even just 1/32 of an inch, and it lets a man know.
You can trust a Leakfrog 2 Pack, Margie. It keeps promises.”

“1/32 of an inch is pretty shallow, Rock. Almost as shallow as those
ragamuffins you used to play football with. You know, I bet half of
them didn’t do nothin’ with their lives.”

“You shut yuh mouth, Margie! You don’t know a blessed thing about
football! We were gladiators, Margie! You could trust a man like you
can trust an activated Leakfrog to emit an alarm for up to 48 hours or
until turned off by the user!”

“Rock… I didn’t mean no harm, I was just…”

“You was just runnin’ yuh mouth, Margie! You want some statistics? How
about this, how about 40% of all property damage is done by water!”

“No, Rock!”

“How about… how about 70% of toxic mold is caused by leaks or plumbing failures?”

“No, Rock! I’ll scream, I swear it, I’ll scream!”

“How about this, Margie, how about this one? One in every three
insurance claims are for water damage, something the Leakfrog 2 Pack
can warn a homeowner about!”

“Rock, oh Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock. What’s become of us, Rock?”

“What’s become of you, Margie? I’m the same person I always was. Maybe I just figured out what’s important.”

“What’s that, Rock? Just a bottle? I’m second best to a bottle? Rock… can’t you love me like you used to love me?”

“Just get out, Margie. Just get out and leave the Leakfrog 2 Pack. That’s all that matters now.”

Warranty: One year

Features:

• Scratch resistant plastic housing - lasts for years
• For wood, carpet, tile, metal, concrete surfaces
• Test button
• Floats on deep puddles
• Runs on 3 AAA batteries (included)
• Water as shallow as 1/32″ will trigger the LeakFrog’s alarm
• Emits a loud alarm when water is detected
• Alarm duration: 48 hours (or until turned off by user)

Did you know:

• 40% of all property damage is caused by water
• 70% of toxic mold is caused by water leaks and plumbing failures
• 1 of 3 insurance claims is for water damage
• 63% of all statistics are made up on the spot (not these, of course)

LeakFrog can detect water leaks from any water source:

• Toilets
• Tubs
• Sinks
• Dishwashers
• Refrigerators
• A/C Drip Pans
• Wet Bars
• Hot Tubs
• Washing Machines
• Your drunk college buddy, Flounder

The publishing industry is reaching an all time low. Help kick it in the face
with the TeleStory Interactive Dora the Explorer Storybook System. TeleStory
plugs into your television and lets your child, or creepy thirty-something Dora
fan, follow along as the stories read themselves, letting them interact with
what they see on the screen. This particular Storybook System comes with “Dora
Goes To School” and “At The Carnival”. Don’t wait for the slow decline of the
complex subtleties of the written word. Grab this bull by the horns and get the
TeleStory Interactive Dora the Explorer Storybook System.
Features:

• Plugs directly into any standard television set and initiate a video based reading experience with interactivity through the use of various action buttons.
• By sliding in individual mini-book cartridges into a TeleStory console, kids will be able to read books with the characters they love all while interacting with on-screen images inspired by the literature.
• With an option for kids to read at their own pace or with assistance, TeleStory will also help build core competencies such as vocabulary, comprehension and confidence, all while serving as a fun activity.
• Follow along as stories read themselves, or switch modes and let your child do the reading.
• Your child can even interact with the characters and images on the TV screen.
• Includes two full books on the cartridge – “Dora Goes to School” and “At the Carnival.”
• Fun and educational, Suitable for ages 3+.

The ThinkOptics WavIt 3D Media-PC Remote Control is amazing. This
could be why it got the 2008 Design & Engineering Showcase Honors
from Innovations International CES. It works
in three dimensions. It works on the web, or the tv, or anything you
can figure out how to program into it. It might even teach your momma. OH SNAP WE WENT THERE OH SNAP

The
ThinkOptics WavIt 3D Media-PC Remote Control lets you use the whole
area for commands. Maybe go left to change to channel six. Or down to
turn down the volume. Or throw it in the air for a 720 to turn off the
dvd player. Or drop it like I dropped your momma. OH NO OH NO WE DID IT AGAIN WE DID IT AGAIN OHHH NO

Each
ThinkOptics WavIt 3D Media-PC Remote Control can handle nearly
everything you ask it to do. It is sturdy, and fun, and works on
Windows XP, MCE of Vista, as well as almost every TV and interactive presentations. It’ll work hard… harder than YOUR MOMMA WOOOO THREE IN A ROW BABY WOOO NEW GRAND CHAMPION OF THE WORLD WOOO

This ThinkOptics WavIt 3D Media-PC Remote Control is really impressive. Usher a new paradigm into your home.

ps your momma so stupid she thinks that means twenty cents hahahahahahaha

Warranty: One Year Manufacturer

Remote Uses

• PC
• Home Theater PC
• Web Surfing
• Interactive Presentation
• PC and On-line Game Controller
• Universal Remote Control
• Works on any TV screen (LCD, plasma, projection, DLP, CRT)
• Works under most lighting conditions
• Pointing Range: 3 ft. to 25 ft.
• Remote Control Range: Approximately 150 Feet (depending on environment)
• Installs on Windows XP, MCE, or Vista
• Supports up to 4 simultaneous Wavit handsets
• Universal IR Learning: Can learn nearly all typical IR remote codes (in range 60-60 kHz)
• IR Blasting Range: Typical living room (approx. 15 ft. X 15 ft.)
• Built-in vibration motor
• Long Battery Life: (Approximately 100 hours continuous use.) (More than 3 years standby)

In the box:

• A Wavit 3D Media-PC Controller
• A Wavit POD with reactive USB cable
• Installation mini-CD
• 6 foot USB extension
• Two AA batteries
• Wavit User Manual

Hey, wallflower! Stop cursing your two left feet, cowering from
strangers who ask you for a dance, and fleeing back to your filthy
apartment to weep the night away in lonely squalor! You, too, can dance
the Roomba! Bring the erotic Cuban rhythms, three-stage cleaning
system, and bagless debris bin of the Roomba to your living room,
dining room, or ballroom by following these simple instructions:

1. Crouch opposite your partner.

2. Place your right or left index finger on your partner’s “Power” button. Press.

3.
Place your right or left index finger on your partner’s “Clean” button.
(Advanced students may wish to choose the “Spot” or “Max” button,
depending on the dancer’s skill level and how dirty the floors are.)
Press.

4. Have a seat. Your partner will take it from here,
ranging far and wide over your home with over 67 behavior adjustments
per second. Now that’s dancing!

Don’t worry too much about
what music to play. The Roomba goes well with just about any kind of
beat, since you won’t be able to hear the music over its mechanical
drone.

Once you’ve mastered those steps, how about spicing
things up by mixing in some scheduling moves? You can program your
Roomba to clean at up to 7 differe