Magazine editors and bloggers alike know that nothing drives traffic around this time of year like a good year-end list. What if I were to combine the powers of a whole bunch of year-end lists into one big list of the year’s best year-end lists of the year? It might look a little something like this…

• Guess which highly-touted iTem made both PC World’s 25 Most Innovative Products of the Year and its 15 Biggest Tech Disappointments of the Year?
• For the benefit of those 13-year-olds who still have some Christmas money to spend, here’s another one from PC World: The Year’s Most Offensive Video Games.
• There’s something poetic in the fact that these charts of Most Pirated Movies and TV Shows of 2007 are both topped by tales about do-gooders fighting evil.
• Out there, somewhere, like stranded Japanese soldiers marching across desert islands long after the bombs hit Hiroshima, nerds and venture capitalists are still partying like it’s 1999. Read all about it in this roll call of The Dumbest Startups of 2007.
• OK, last total-nerd link on this list, promise: Wired’s 10 Best Galleries of the Year makes me think I should pay a little more attention to the old gray cybermare. (There’s some NSFW content in one gallery.)
• I never miss the Buffalo Beast’s annual 50 Most Loathsome People in America list.
• Bill Maher, on the other hand, only came up with 13 entrants for his Dickheads of the Year list (some NSFW language, surprise surprise).
• Unsurprisingly, some of the same people from the previous two lists show up on About.com’s 25 Dumbest Political Quotes of 2007.
• Clear some of that political bilge off of your skin with the awe-inspiring, thought-provoking eye candy of NASA’s Astronomy Photos of the Year.
• If you click only one link in this list, it should be Kottke’s Best Links 2007.
• And while they’re not lists, we’d be remiss if we didn’t note that Pantone’s color of the year is 18-3943 Blue Iris; that Seth Godin named an unexpected duo in a tie for his Marketer of the Year, 2007 award; and that E*Trade exec Mitch Caplan is Silicon Alley Insider’s Goat of the Year for fumbling away $9 billion of the shareholders’ money on a harebrained mortgage-trading scheme.

Seen any interesting eulogies for ‘07 in convenient list form? Post ‘em below.

Four O’Clock Flash: I personally am way too uncoordinated to do very well on Movement Mayhem, but I’m as fascinated by its two-handed gameplay as I am frustrated by it.

Ever notice how we call this a “blog” but most of the posts are just our daily product descriptions? Maybe you remember back when we used to do a little something called the WWWoundup, a daily link blast, in hopes that someday we could stop making air quotes when we tell people about our “blog”? Well, get a good look at those qualifying quotation marks, because the Woot blog is about to get real, and then keep it that way, yo.

Starting today, we’ll be featuring weekdaily content in this Blog space, created by me and our team of blogcrafters using artisanal techniques we learned from the ancient masters of the Orient. The WWWoundup returns later today, along with a short humor piece by new contributor Scott Lydon. All hell will commence breaking loose on subsequent days, and very little of it will have to do with Woot per se (Rao be praised, as Kal-El might say). We’re fair-gaming anything from photo essays to funny little lists to insightful interviews to hot dog-racing tips. So keep us in your minds, your hearts, and your bookmarks. And let us know what would take the quotation marks off of the Woot “blog” in your mind, too.

Hey, products are people, too. They like to have a good time. What’s wrong with a RoboQuad and a Moving Lips Speakerphone having some of their fellow products over for a couple of drinks on New Year’s Eve? Is that a crime? Your challenge:

Show us the morning after the Woot products have their big New Year’s Eve bash.

And like we said Friday, you’ve got the rest of the week to do this one. Post your entry here by 11:59 PM CST on Sunday, January 6, 2007 - consider the extra days our very cheap Christmas present to you.
Prizes are $20/$50/$100 for 3rd/2nd/1st. The rules and criteria for
winning: our panel of volunteer judges can and will make stuff up as it
goes along. Use Photoshop, linoleum blocks, pastels, MSPaint, cave
painting, tattoos, tribal scarification, whatever, but it’ll only be
judged if it’s visible in our forums as a jpg, gif, or png. As we are
fond of saying, try to keep your maximum width to 450px. If you need a
place to host your pictures, try www.imageshack.ws or www.photobucket.com.
We have no connection to either, but they seem free and easy to use.
And if you want us to be sure your entry was indeed your work, post
links to your source images. The more sure we are that you did your own
work, the more likely we are to consider it for a prize.

Need a mouse with more trademarks than a Disney video? You’re gonna want the Razer Copperhead Tempest Blue Gaming Mouse. The world’s most advanced laser sensor picks up 2000dpi and delivers it back to the 32K of onboard memory. With up to five unique gaming profiles, there’s no more need to buy a different mouse for each game. Don’t worry about how it will effect the mouse-based economy of Tuvalu. Just make your hand happy and your headshots more snappy with a Razer Copperhead Tempest Blue Gaming Mouse.

This mouse was designed by: Razer, the first name in streetwise mice. Seriously, if these things ever come to life it will make Skynet look like Microsoft Bob. They’ve got seven independently programmable Hyperesponse™ buttons and On-The-Fly Sensitivity™ adjustment!

Wear this mouse: I guess maybe you could paint it white and put a bunch on your head to look like those twins from Matrix Reloaded. It does have a seven foot cord and zero-acoustic Ultraslick™ Teflon feet.

Don’t wear this mouse: to the airport. The gold-plated USB connector might activate the metal detector and then they’d confiscate it and you’d lose your Portal tournament because you’d have to use a Nintendo Power Glove instead.

This mouse tells the world: “I can handle 7080 frames per second and I’ve got 20g of acceleration! And GlowPipe™ non-slip side rails too!”

We call this color: Icymagic Blue. If only we had listened to the one lone voice of dissent in the shirt.woot forums perhaps we would not now be watching our entire business model crumble around our ears!

Warranty: 90 Day Razer

Features:

• 2000dpi Razer Precision™ laser sensor - the world’s most advanced laser sensor, found in the Razer Copperhead
• 32KB Razer Synapse™ onboard memory - Powered by Razer Synapse™ – you can store up to five unique gaming profiles
• 1000Hz Ultrapolling™ / 1ms response time - compared to that of 125Hz / 8ms found in
  conventional gaming mice, gives you the competitive edge over your
  opponents.
• Seven independently programmable Hyperesponse™ buttons
• On-The-Fly Sensitivity™ adjustment
• Always-On™ mode
• Zero-acoustic Ultraslick™ Teflon feet
• 16-bit ultra-wide data path
• Up to 45 inches per second and 20g of acceleration
• 7080 frames per second
• GlowPipe™ non-slip side rails
• Ergonomic ambidextrous design
• Ultra-large non-slip buttons
• Gold-plated USB connector
• Seven-foot, lightweight, non-tangle cord
• Approximate size: 130mm (length) x 66mm (width) x 41mm (height)

System Requirements

• Windows® 2000 / XP / X64 / MCE 2005 / Vista / Vista64
• Available USB port
• CD-ROM Drive (for drivers)
• At least 35MB of hard disk space (for drivers)

In the box:

• Razer Copperhead Mouse

By now, you know all about the high-quality metal casings and
ProBass technology that make the Razer Protone m250 Street-Style
Clip-On Earphones such a Woot favorite. But did you also know that they
possess potent, if elusive, powers to tell the future? We put them on
at exactly midnight, facing magnetic north and wearing nothing but a
pure platinum g-string. Here’s what the m250 told us about the year to
come…

February 7: The Chinese government announces
that year 4705, which starts today, will not be the Year of the Rat, as
expected. Instead, a multimillion-dollar naming-rights deal makes it
the Year of the Razer Protone m250 Street-Style Clip Earphones. “Rats
are shameful and filthy, but Razer Protone m250 Earphones are
glorious,” a state spokesman explains.

March 27: As the TV and movie writers’ strike comes to an end with new episodes of Two and a Half Men and According to Jim, a nation breathes a sigh of relief. Then a sigh of irritation.

May 17: Jamie-Lynn Spears gives birth to a healthy, four-ounce Razer Protone m250 Street-Style Clip Earphone.

May 18: Jamie-Lynn Spears announces she is pregnant with her second child.

August 22:
Controversy erupts when a half-human, half-cyborg athlete wins gold
medals in the Decathlon, Heavyweight Boxing, Fencing, Modern
Pentathlon, and All-Around Men’s Gymnastics, along with an individual
silver in Baseball, usually considered a team sport. After some
deliberation, the International Olympic Committee decides to let
Vladimir Putin keep his medals.

September 4: With
no candidate holding a clear majority of delegates, the Razer Protone
m250 Street-Style Clip Earphones become the surprise dark-horse
Republican nominee for president. “With its rubber-coated clip arms,
it’s the only candidate who, we all agree, can ensure the security of
the country against international terrorism and earphone slippage,”
says some guy named Fred who was on Roseanne once. Since the
Razer Protone m250 was previously named the Democratic nominee for
president, the outcome of the November election is a foregone
conclusion.

December 24: A unidentified humanoid
creature will green fur and yellow eyes is shot in Hoover, New
Hampshire, while attempting to steal Christmas presents from a local
home. “I’da let it have the jing-tinglers and the zu-zitter-carzay
set,” said homeowner Earl Stritch, “but when that thing went for my
Razer Protone m250 Street-Style Clip Earphones, I had to shoot it. I
don’t have that much Christmas spirit.”

Warranty: One year

Features:

• Street-Style Clip Earphones
• Rubber-coated clip arms combine with high quality metal casings for an aerodynamic secure fit
• Ultimate in style, comfort & portability. Solid clips ensure a firm grip during active usage
• With light & compact construction, the sleek metal discs cling effortlessly to the curvature of the ears
• Powered by Razer’s own ProBass™ Technology
• protone™ m250 send out deeply enhanced bass specifically engineered for digital players
• Providing greater sound output and a more accurate music reproduction
• Noise isolation is further maximized through ergonomic design
• Custom-designed carrying case
• Includes a jet-set adaptor for air travel providing total convenience in storage and portability

Specifications:

• Frequency Response: 50-20,000Hz
• Dynamic Transducer
• Impedance: 32 ohms
• Max Sound Pressure Level (SPL): 105dB
• Cable Length: 1.15/ 3.77ft
• 3.5mm connector plug
• Max Power Rating 50mW
• Weight 38g (with cable)

His blood ran cold at the sound – the raw, unearthly yowl that
seemed to issue forth from the leathery lungs of hell itself. Like a
profane chorus of demons screeching a symphony of damnation -

Nah,
nah, that’ll never do, it’s crap. I can’t let the quality of my
copywriting slip just because that new baby isn’t letting us get any
sleep at night. Gotta give the rubes what they expect, right? Something
funny? OK…

It’s funny. Until you’ve actually felt it,
you always think it’d really hurt to have a hole drilled in your skull.
Well, it does. A lot. But the thing that gets you isn’t so much the
pain – they have drugs for that – but the noise: the crunch of metal
grinding away bone, the whine of the motor, harmonizing into a
discordant buzz that keeps you awake long after the operation -

Where
am I going with this? What does any of this have to do with a camera?
Maybe a fake news story’ll do the trick. That’s always easy.

GRAND FORKS,
ND – Constitutional experts are closely watching the courts here today,
as a local man petitions to be allowed to marry his beloved Kodak V803 8MP Digital
Camera. The marriage, if permitted, would be the first legal union
between a man and a camera in the United States in over 150 years.

Leon Vogel, 48, of Grand Forks says he just wants the same rights that non-camera-loving Americans enjoy. “When I met my Kodak V803 and saw its crisp, vibrant 8MP pictures,” Vogel says, “I knew this was the camera I wanted to spend my life with. VGA video, a 3x optical zoom, a big 2.5” LCD - I just can’t imagine living without it.

“If I say it’s love, and my Kodak V803 says it’s love, who is anybody else to say different?”

But
cultural conservatives say the marriage would set a dangerous
precedent. “What’s next: people marrying scanners?” says Rev. Ward Dow
of the Church of Jesus Christ the Republican. “If tomorrow I decide to
go down to the courthouse with my toaster and my blender for some hot
three-way matrimonial appliance action, the court hassnml fjl.
fjkipoioooooooooooooo

Wha? Hmn? Oh, I musta fallen
asleep on my keyboard. Damn, sometimes I wish I had a nice, easy
vanilla copywriting job. It’d be boring, but at least I could do it in
my sleep. Ah, well, back to the writeboard…

Warranty: One year Kodak

Features:

• 8.0 megapixel resolution (3273 × 2457)
• 1/1.8” CCD (8.32 MP, 3350 × 2483)
• 3X optical zoom, 4X digital zoom
• Kodak Retinar 3X Optical Aspheric Glass Lens (35mm equivalent: 36–108mm)
• 4X digital zoom
• 2.5” diagonal LCD display
• Switch to 32MB in-camera
  memory quickly with the internal memory plus feature
• Kodak Perfect Touch technology
• Digital image stabilization using anti-blur mode
• TTL auto focus
• Normal/macro/infinity auto focus modes
• AF assist light
• AE lock
• ISO sensitivity up to 1600
• Multiple metering modes
• Five white balance modes
• 22 scene modes
• Five color modes
• Three sharpness modes
• Multiple still/video review modes
• In-camera still/video editing
• 14 custom settings
• Burst mode
• Four flash modes
• Red-eye reduction
• Histogram display
• Multiple self-timers
• QuickTime MPEG-4 movie mode with audio
• On-camera favorites button
• ImageLink, PictBridge compatible
• SD/MMC memory card slot
• NTSC/PAL A/V output
• USB 2.0 port
• Measures approximately 4-1/8”W x 2-1/8”H x 1”D

In the box:

• KODAK EASYSHARE V803 Zoom Digital Camera
• KODAK Li-Ion Rechargeable Digital Camera Battery KLIC-7003
• Carry strap
• USB cable
• 5V AC adapter with power cord(s) for in-camera battery charging
• Getting Started Guide with KODAK EASYSHARE Software
• Custom camera insert for optional KODAK EASYSHARE Camera and Printer Docks

Sometimes reality can overtake you, run you down, smack you in the face, and unlay your best-laid plans. And then smack you again in the face, a little harder, just to remind you who’s boss.

See, a
couple of weeks back we wrote a real humdinger of a writeup for today,
where Benazir Bhutto and Dan Fogelberg teamed up to fight a rampaging
tiger who was trying to take Paris Hilton’s inheritance away and spend
it all on steroids for its evil master, Roger Clemens. Believe you us,
it was even more hilarious than it sounds.

In light of
recent events, however, we feel that a more sober explanation of the
Sling Media Slingbox AV is appropriate. Watch, like this: you hook it
up to your TV, log in to the web-based player anywhere in the world,
and watch and control your TV, TiVo, satellite, cable, or DVD
player right there on your PC. Your office, your hotel room, your
prison cell – if you’ve got a broadband connection, your TV back home
is at your command. Take your living room with you wherever you go,
without the strain on your back and damage to your home that would
result from moving your actual living room. You can even watch on your
cell phone, if it’s fancy enough.

There. Was that so hard?
Sometimes we forget that you don’t need to make crass, offensive jokes
to move merchandise. Sometimes, all it takes is a worthwhile product
and a little plain speaking. Maybe if Robin Wright Penn had kept that
in mind, Sean Penn wouldn’t be leaving her.

Warranty: 90 days Woot

Features:
Single Input
Connects one standard definition device such as your DVR, digital cable set top box or satellite receiver.

SlingPlayer
SlingPlayer is the software that works hand-in-hand with the hardware
inside the Slingbox to bring your entire living room TV viewing
experience to your laptop, desktop or mobile device.

No Monthly Fees
Watch and control your TV and its programming on your compatible cell phone, PDA, laptop or desktop with no monthly subscription fee.

What Devices Can you Connect?

• Basic Cable TV Set-top Box
• Digital Cable Set-top Box
• Digital Video Recorder (DVR) such as TiVo®, Comcast®, ReplayTV®, DISH® or one provided by your cable/satellite provider
• DVD Player/Recorder
• Satellite Receiver such as DIRECTV® or DISH®
• Video/Security Camera
• Windows Media Center

Computer Requirements
Minimum PC Requirements:

• Microsoft Windows® Vista™ or Windows® XP with Service Pack 2
• Intel® Pentium IV 1.3 GHz processor
• 1 GB RAM for Windows® Vista™ and 512 MB for Windows® XP
• 150 MB available disk space for installation
• Graphics card (24-bit color)
• Sound card (16-bit)
• Network connectivity

Minimum Mac Requirements:

• PowerPC® G4/G5 800 MHz or Intel® processor
• Mac® OS X v.10.3.9 (or higher recommended)
• 512 MB RAM (1 GB recommended)
• 150 MB available disk space for installation
• Network connectivity

Minimum Network Requirements

• Cable or DSL Modem (for out-of-home viewing)
• 256 Kbps Upstream Network Speed Recommended (higher upstream network speeds yield higher quality video)
• Home Network Router – wired or wireless (UPnP compatibility highly recommended)

Supported Audio and Video Sources
Connects to one standard definition S-video or composite video source such as:

• Basic Cable TV Set-top Box
• Digital Cable Set-top Box
• Digital Video Recorder (DVR) such as TiVo®, Comcast®, ReplayTV®, DISH® or one provided by your cable/satellite provider
• DVD Player/Recorder
• Satellite Receiver such as DIRECTV® or DISH®
• Video/Security Camera
• Windows Media Center

In the box:

• SB240-100 Sling Media AV Unit
• AC Adapter
• RJ45 Cat5 Cable
• S-Video Cable
• RCA Audio Video Cable
• Get started with your slingbox instruction slip
• 1 Remote Control IR Cable

We’ve never personally met a marketing department hack who ever
dubbed a product “extreme” (or “Xtreme,” or any other variation). Which
is kind of weird, really, considering how many there must be. For a
while, there, you couldn’t gleek without moistening an “extreme”
lifestyle accessory, clothing item, or packaged food.

Did
the hypemasters figure that calling something as ordinary as a tepid
fast food quesadilla “extreme” was enough to get us all keyed up? Did
it work? Not on anyone we hang out with, as far as we know—but then, we
don’t really run with the snowboarding, BMX-riding, skateboarding, base-jumping, crappy-vermin-infested-taco-joint-going crowd.

But
here we are all the same, years after “extreme” marketing has (thank
goodness) mostly much run its course, pushing XtremeMac’s portable
battery pack for iPods. At least this gizmo actually boasts a few
features to which you could fairly apply the moniker. It’s extremely
portable, thanks to its low profile and lightweight rechargeable
Lithium-Ion batteries. It has extremely good endurance, providing up to
80 hours of audio or eight hours of video playback. And it’s extremely
snobby about the company it keeps, as this power-pack will only work
with iPods—no off-brand media players need apply.

Not to
worry, though—even the ‘podless might derive some entertainment from
this MicroPack if they’ve got friends with iPods of their own: There
are dual headphone jacks, volume controls and digital amplifiers on
this dock, so y’all can share.

Oh, and another thing. Today,
the XtremeMac Portable iPod Battery Pack is also extremely inexpensive.
Extremely. We’re talking so totally in-your-face inexpensive, it will
melt your tongue, bra. Uh, gnarly?

Warranty: one year

Features:

• Rechargeable lithium battery pack with up to 80 hrs audio/8 hrs video play time
• Dual headphone jacks, volume controls and digital amplifiers
• Ideal viewing angle for watching video; Audio/Video line out
• Syncs and charges iPod with Apple USB or FireWire cable
• Compatibility: iPod nano (1G and 2G), iPod mini, 4G iPod with click wheel, iPod Color, iPod Video

In the box:

• Battery Pack
• User Manual

Woot competitors, take note: Maybe your site’s name could have been Merriam-Webster’s “Word of the Year” if only you’d put in an order for a truckload or two of these electronic dictionaries-cum-mp3-players!

We
kid, we kid. Merriam-Webster’s selection of “w00t” as the word of 2007
had nothing to do with our purchase of today’s item, as far as we know.
Whatever selection process those word-nerds use, it’s probably
perfectly fair and transparent. (We doubt, though, that it’s as purely
democratic as the one we used to determine today’s Derby-winning shirt
over at shirt.woot. It was voted into production by you!)

That’s
not to say that we’re above greasing a palm now and then. But let’s be
clear: We’re talking about “the somewhat concave part of the human hand
between the bases of the fingers and the wrist or the corresponding
part of the forefoot of a lower mammal.” Not “any of a family (Palmae
syn. Arecaceae) of mostly tropical or subtropical monocotyledonous
trees, shrubs, or vines with usually a simple stem and a terminal crown
of large pinnate or fan-shaped leaves.”

That important
distinction can be found in this itty-bitty lexiconitron, along with
the spellings and definitions of over 274,000 other words, and the
state-of-the-art search technology to help you find ‘em.

Like,
remember when you asked Miss Seeger how to spell “armistice” (or
whatever), and she told you to look it up? And you sat there in front
of the giant, musty-smelling old classroom dictionary—the one that
generations of foul-minded schoolkids had conditioned to open directly
to the dirty words—and you wondered how in the world you were supposed
to look up a words you couldn’t spell in the first place?

The
M-W crew has solved that little paradox just as neat as you please with
their patented phonetic spell-correction, making you’re spelling airers
a thing of the passed. Handy, eh?

And hey, it’s got an mp3
player in it! That’s kind of weird. But if you like that, you’re going
to love the combination electric corkscrew and complete works of
Charles Dickens no doubt in development somewhere. Good thing, too,
because it’ll almost certainly be us who ends up selling it.

Warranty: One Year Manufacturer

Specifications:

• Over 274,000 word dictionary with complete definitions
• Phonetic spell correction allows you to enter a word the way it sounds and provides alternatives for misspelled words
• Confusables function alerts you when one word might be confused with another by providing spellings and meanings
• Built-in audio player compatible with MP3/WMA
  files
• Allows songs, audio books and podcasts to be downloaded to the
  internal memory (119MB) or to a SD/MMC card (card not included) that
  you can place in the memory expansion slot
• Interactive word learning exercises and games
• 5 Games
• Crossword Puzzle Solver to determine missing puzzle letters
• Local/world clock
• Adjustable contrast display
• Auto Shut-Off
• Includes Earbud Headphones and USB Cable
• Requires 2 “AAA” Batteries (not included)

You don’t have to be a genius to appreciate the Sony VAIO VGN-AR550U Digital Studio Notebook PC. Check out the bright 17” widescreen LCD, two hard drives with a total of 240GB of storage space, and superfast 802.11n wireless connectivity. Throw in its HDTV receiving and recording features, complete with the TiVo-style PVR functions, and this fully-loaded notebook’s bountiful gifts are clear to even the simplest of simpletons.

But just in case somebody out there is even simpler than that, we present this insightful guide explaining how to tell the Sony VAIO VGN-AR550U from a hole in the ground.

Operating System
Sony VAIO VGN-AR550U: Windows Vista Ultimate
A hole in the ground: the nitrogen cycle

Storage Space
Sony VAIO VGN-AR550U: 240GB on two hard drives
A hole in the ground: as much as you’re willing to dig out

Multimedia Options:
Sony VAIO VGN-AR550U: watch, record, and timeshift HDTV with the included outboard ATI tuner box with HDMI out
A hole in the ground: watch bugs, roots, and the occasional worm

Connectivity
Sony VAIO VGN-AR550U: next-generation 802.11n wireless for greater speed and range than 802.11a/b/g standards
A hole in the ground: part of the great circle of life

Eye Candy
Sony VAIO VGN-AR550U: oversized 17” widescreen, powered by XBRITE-HiColor™ LCD technology
A hole in the ground: everything’s brown, pretty much

Warranty: One Year Sony

Specifications:

• Includes an ATI TV Wonder Digital Cable Tuner.
• Processor: Intel Core 2 Duo Processor T7100 1.8 GHz
• Front Side Bus: 800MHz
• Mobile Technology: Centrino
• L2 Cache Size: 2MB
• Memory: 2GB PC2-5300 (667MHz) DDR2-SDRAM
• Maximum Memory: 4GB
• Memory Slots Total/Available: 2/0
• Hard Drives Installed: 2
• Total Hard Drive Capacity: 240GB
• Drive Controllers: SATA-150
• Rotational Speed: 5400 RPM
• Optical Drives: Double Layer DVD+/–RW SuperMulti Drive
• Sound Support: 3D Audio
• Video: NVIDIA GeForce 8400M GT
• Total Available Graphics Memory (Vista): 895 MB
• Resolution: 1440×900
• Screen: 17.0 in Active Matrix LCD 16:10 (Widescreen)
• Network Support: Ethernet (10/100 Mbps)
• Wireless Protocol: 802.11a/b/g/n draft; Bluetooth
• Modem Speed: 56 Kbps
• Input Devices: Keyboard
• Remote Control
• Touchpad
• Battery Life (average): 1.5 – 3.0 Hours

Port Connectors:

• 1 x HDMI Output
• 1 x VGA out with Smart Display Sensor
• 1 x i.LINK® connector (IEEE 1394) (4 pin)
• 3 x USB 2.0
• 1 x RJ-45 Ethernet LAN
• 1 x RJ-11 Modem
• 1 x Audio – Headphone jack
• 1 x Audio – Microphone input
• 1 x S-Video Output
• 1 x DC-in

Card Slots:

• 1 x MagicGate Memory Stick
• 1 x Memory Stick Duo
• 1 x Secure Digital (SD)
• 1 x ExpressCard/54

Software:

• Installed Operating System: Windows Vista Ultimate
• Included Software: Supplied Applications:
• Microsoft Works 8.5 – Word Processing, Spreadsheet, Calendar, Scheduling, Contact Management, and Database
• Sony Original Software: Click to DVD™ – DVD Creation, LocationFree Player
• Security and Anti-Virus Software:
• Norton
  Internet Security™ 2007 60-Day Subscription – Norton AntiVirus®, Norton
  Personal Firewall, Norton Privacy Control, Norton AntiSpam, Norton
  Parental Control

Dimensions:

• Height: 1.3 in
• Width: 16.4 in
• Depth: 11.8 in
• Weight: 8.4 lbs

In the box:

• Laptop
• Standard Lithium-ion Battery (VGP-BPS9A/B)
• AC Adapter (VGP-AC19V15)
• Remote Control / IR Receiver
• Power Cord
• RF Cable
• ATI TV Wonder Digital Cable Tuner

Last August, as you may recall, NASA found
a big empty Nothing way way out around the Eridanus constellation.
Recently, they have been batting around the idea that this Nothing
could be a gateway to a parallel universe. If true, this could mean
that the door is opened to a near-infinite cascade of alternative
histories.

Imagine a dimension where the Maccabees beat
the Seleucid Empire… in the middle of May! Or the Declaration of
Independence was signed… in late autumn! Or everyone called in sick the
day after… Super Bowl Tuesday! How will everyone keep up with life once
we have an infinite number of National Catfish Months?

As always, the Woot chrononauts are one step ahead of those dummies at NASA. While they’re doing nine-dimensional calculus, we’ve got the Random Calendar of Crap: 2008 Edition!

Project
RanCalCra is a high-intensity low-cost temporally-focused information
delivery system, more commonly known as “cheap calendars”. Once in
action, Project RanCalCra lets you track the events and holidays of YOUR
universe, allowing you a baseline you can rely on, even if you wind up
in one of those scary alternate worlds where dinosaurs use magic or
pizza is illegal.

The one flaw of Project RanCalCra is that,
due to the Heisenberg Purchasing Principle, you do not get to pick your
calendar. But you can order up to three, so if you don’t like Lee Majors: Bionic Beefcake, you might like Puppies Crash Ferraris or maybe Great Undersea Disasters 1864-1907. The odds are in your favor.

The
Eridanus Time-Dent could be the start of a new way of thinking. Don’t
you want to remember the day your first heard about it? You could write
it down on your calendar, as long as you take advantage of the Random
Calendar of Crap: 2008 Edition.

Selections:

• Hula Holiday 16 Month
• National Parks of North America 16 Month
• Tropical Equatoria 16 Month
• Paradise 16 Month
• Mediteranneo 16 Month
• Bon Voyage 16 Month
• Dream Cars 16 Month
• Roses 16 Month
• What Cats Are 16 Month
• Italia 16 Month
• Camelot 16 Month with Cards
• Buddha 16 Month
• Tuscany 16 Month
• Bon Appetite 16 Month
• Tigers 16 Month
• Nature inspiration 16 Month
• Lovable Labs 16 Month
• Vineyards 16 Month
• Asian Garden 16 Month
• Beneath The Sea 16 Month with Magnets
• Pigs On Parade 16 Month
• Tropical Equatoria 16 Month with Cards
• Southeast Asia 16 Month
• Ireland 16 Month
• Fairies 16 Month
• Gift Of Zen 16 Month
• Motivations 16 Month
• France 16 Month with Cards

Warning: Calendars are not to be used for draining pasta. Turns out that’s something else altogether.

T’was the Night Before Christmas
and all through Woot Tower,
the staff seemed to be cross
and they grumbled and glowered.

“What’s wrong, there?” called The Boss
from his executive suite.
“You better get merry
or you’re gonna get beat!”

“No, The Boss, we’re sorry!
There’s just so much stuff!
We’ve got six hundred mousepads
we have to clean up!”

“The ones with the eagle?”
said The Boss from on high.
“Maybe I’ve been too harsh
on you hard-working guys.”

The Boss looked in his pocket
(all satin and silk)
and pulled out his fancy watch
that he had custom built.

“It’s not yet midnight
in the Central Time Zone!
Maybe there’s still a way
we can get you guys home!”

“Home for Christmas?” they yelled
with excitable glee.
“Oh, our wives and our children
would us love to see!”

“Well let’s get right to work!”
said The Boss with true grit.
“I’ll roll up my sleeves
and help out with this sh-

NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE UPDATE: SANTA NOW TRACKED TO BE CLOSE TO YOUR SPECIFIC NEIGHBORHOOD. ALL CHILDREN SHOULD PROCEED TO BED. STAY TUNED FOR FURTHER UPDATES AS WARRANTED.

“Oh, sir, you can’t say that!”
the workers explained.
“Naughty words on the Internet
make our customers faint!”

“Aw, darn it all!” said The Boss,
his heart full of disdain.
“Maybe we should just leave
this stuff out in the rain!”

Just then was a rustle
And the sound of some deer.
All rushed to the window
To see what was now here.

“Ho ho!” came the sound
of a voice deep and low.
Then a brief pregnant pause.
Then finally a soft “Ho!”

“Santa!” cried the workers
as they ran to the sled.
“I want a Robosapien!”
“I want pistachios instead!”

“I want a Mustek camera!”
“A wrist radio’d be good!”
But Santa walked quickly to
where The Boss sadly stood.

“Oh, Santa,” said The Boss,
“I just have too much stuff!
I’d get rid of it cheaply
But my language is too rough!”

Santa gave a big smile,
pulled The Boss on his lap,
and whispered three simple words:
“Stocking of Crap.”

The Boss leaped in the air
as though shot from a gun
“Everyone to the warehouse!
We’ll have so much fun!”

And they packed through the night
with traditional rules
(that I’m sure you recall
for you’re surely not fools).

YOU’LL WASTE MONEY ON SHIPPING
IF YOU DON’T ORDER THREE
YOU’RE RESPONSIBLE FOR PICKING
YOUR OWN QUANTITY

YOU HAVE TO PICK 3
AS THE AMOUNT WE WILL SEND YOU
YOU’LL STILL GET JUST ONE BAG
NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO

BUT THE CRAP THAT’S INSIDE IT
IS WHAT YOU’RE SELECTING
AND YOU’LL WISH YOU GOT THREE
IN POST-PURCHASE REFLECTING

So make The Boss happy
And help us clear out our business
And all of us here at Woot
wish you guys Merry Christmas.

THE HOLY CRAP COMMANDMENTS v2.0:

I. Thou shalt expect nothing beyond one bag of some kind and your chosen quantity of crappy items (which should be THREE).

II. Thou shalt not whine and complain when some people’s crap turns out to be nicer than yours.

III. Thou shalt take a moment to consider whether you might be better off just not buying this crap.

IV. Thou shalt not order just one crap and blame it on anything but your own inattention.

V. To paraphrase Stephen Stills, shalt thou not get the crap you want, want the crap you get.

• The crap will be shipped via SmartPost, the crappiest shipping method available to us.

Bullets popped and pinged all over the boat and pierced the
Mediterranean’s dark, undulating surface. Somebody had tipped off the
local gendarmerie about the bootleg cigarettes down in our
hold, and they’d been there on the shore to greet us as we steamed up
to the dock. Hajer, our snaggletoothed Tunisian captain, knew that we
were nabbed. But it would be bad form to go quietly. In Marseilles, a
brief exchange of half-serious gunfire was considered merely the polite
prelude to an arrest. Hajer’s sneering smile stretched the long scar
that ran down the side of his face as he popped off a couple more
desultory rounds.

Me, I hunched down behind a big coil of rope, lit another Gauloise, and tortured myself with memories of the jeune fille back in Tangiers, the one who’d driven me to seek my fortune at sea. Some fortune.

After
Hajer’s pantomime of resistance, it all went according to form: we were
cuffed, loaded into a van, booked, locked up, all for the crime of
violating the monopoly of France’s state-owned tobacco company. A gawky
French cop with too much nose hair led me to my cell. I asked a
(perhaps flippant) question about when breakfast was served around
here. “For all I care, you can rot to death in this cell until the rats
feast on your stinking guts and the flies lay their eggs in your
liquefying eyeballs,” he spat, which I thought seemed unduly harsh for
a victimless crime.

I was just reminiscing about what my
lost love smelled like – lilacs and cumin and something else I couldn’t
place – when Nosehair swung the cell door open for a surprise visit.
“If I’d’ve known you were coming, I’d’ve set out a platter of petit fours,” I told him. He said only, “Come.” I followed him and his dense nasal thatch back down the hall.

A
bored, jowly desk cop gave me the news: “You’re being released.” I took
my belt and my little bag of personal effects from him, confused but in
no mood to ask a lot of pesky questions. “It seems that our informant
was incorrect. There were no cigarettes on that boat. You have
committed no crime.”

No cigarettes? What? I’d loaded some
of the crates myself. But then it occurred to me…I’d never looked
inside any of them. Jowls went on as he scrawled away at my release
paperwork. “No, all that was in the boat was a large shipment of JVC 770 Watt 7.1 Receivers.”

My head swam. “You mean the RXD301S? The home theater receiver with 110 watts per channel to 7.1 channels? The one with Dolby Digital EX and all kinds of DTS surround processing, and the ability to connect wirelessly to any PC with a free USB port? That JVC 770 Watt 7.1 Receiver?” I couldn’t get my head around it. It didn’t make any sense.

Without
looking up, he nodded. The jowls danced. “The same. Perfectly legal
within French borders, although the slim chassis does have some heat
dissipation issues. Now, if you’ll sign here…”

I signed. I
left. I never saw Hajer again. And I never did figure out what angle he
was working. But I knew one thing: with all those JVC 770 Watt 7.1 Receivers, it probably sounded pretty good.

Warranty: One year

Features:

• Stereo: 110 watts per channel, 6 ohms, from 20Hz to 20kHz, with 0.8% THD
• Surround: (Front) 110 watts per channel, 6 ohms at 1kHz, with 0.8% THD; (Center) 110 watts, 6 ohms at 1kHz, with 0.8% THD; (Surround) 110 watts per channel, 6 ohms at 1kHz, with 0.8% THD; (Surround Back) 110 watts per channel, 6 ohms at 1kHz, with 0.8% THD
• Dolby Digital EX/Dolby Digital/Dolby Pro Logic IIx/Dolby Pro Logic II
• DTS/DTS-ES/DTS NEO:6/DTS 96/24
• DVD Multi-Channel Audio Compatible
• Hybrid Feedback Digital Amplifier Ver. III
• Wireless Connection with PC — The receiver is equipped with a USB terminal on the front panel and a USB Wireless Antenna terminal on the rear. By connecting a USB wireless antenna (supplied) to the USB Wireless Antenna terminal and a USB wireless transmitter (supplied) to your PC - you can enjoy playback of music files from PC. (USB Wireless)
• CC Converter
  (2 Modes, Front Channels) — offers two modes for improving the sound
  quality of compressed audio and non-compressed sources, respectively
• USB Input for receiving audio signals from PC
• Center-Channel Alignment
• Virtual Surround Back for creating even wider sound field without a surround back speaker
• 3D-PHONIC
• DAP for Multi-Channel Digital Sources: THEATER 1/THEATER 2/HALL 1/HALL 2/DANCE CLUB/LIVE CLUB/PAVILION
• DAP for 2-Channel Sources: MONO FILM/THEATER 1/THEATER 2/HALL 1/HALL 2/DANCE CLUB/LIVE CLUB/PAVILION/ALL CH STEREO
• 3D Headphone
• 192kHz/24-bit P.E.M. D.D. Converter (Front Channels)
• Video Up-Conversion (Composite to S-Video/Composite to Component)
• Quick Speaker Setup
• One-Touch Operation
• DSP Digital Equalizer
• AV COMPU LINK
• Multi-Brand A/V-STB (CATV/DBS) Glow Remote Control

Inputs/Outputs:

• Audio: Analog – 4 Inputs and 2 Outputs, Digital – 2 Optical Inputs, 1 Optical Output and 1 Coaxial Input
  (Assignable)
• Video: Component – 2 Inputs and 1 Output, S-Video – 3 Inputs and 3 Outputs, Composite – 3 Inputs and 3 Outputs
• USB Input
• Pre-out: Subwoofer – 1 Output
• Speaker Terminals: Front L/R (Banana Plug), Center (Banana Plug), Surround L/R, and Surround Back x 2

Classy, colorful and providing a rich sound. No, we’re not talking
about the highly talented Grammy-nominated recording artist Ledisi,
we’re talking about the itty-bitty Creative Zen Micro Photo 8GB.

You can fit up to eight gigs of music into one of these things, in MP3 or WMA or WAV,
and the battery life gives you up to fifteen hours of non-stop music.
To put that in perspective, fifteen hours is roughly the amount of time
Amy Winehouse can go without getting arrested.

The Creative
Zen Micro Photo 8GB has a voice recorder and is designed for FM radio.
This is similar to the band Paramore, except you might actually enjoy
listening to your Zen. There is also a built in clock with sleep and
wake timers.

Want to look at that photo of eighteen year old
Taylor Swift? The Creative Zen Micro Photo 8GB converts any picture to
a space-saving JPEG and you can even set the wallpaper. The super-bright, super-thin OLED
display will bring out the best that 160×160 can offer, and the eight
different backlight options let you pick the light that’s best for you…
and her.

The Creative Zen Micro Photo 8GB can sync with your
computer to transfer your contacts, tasks, and calendar. There’s even
an EQ with 8 settings, so maybe you can find the one that makes Feist’s
voice sound less wobbly. We couldn’t, but hey, it’s worth a shot.

The
Creative Zen Micro Photo 8GB is a great way to catch up on your
listening before February. And who knows? This could be Alan Parsons’
big year!

Warranty: 90 days Woot

Features:

• ZEN Micro’s OLED (Organic
  Light-Emitting Diode) screens use cutting edge technology to display
  hundreds of thousands of brilliant and vivid colors. OLED
  technology is brighter, thinner, faster and lighter than ordinary LCDs.
  Plus, it uses less power to give you longer battery life.
• Breeze through your music and photo collection with ease thanks to the industry standard ZEN™
  user interface—invented and patented by Creative. The Vertical Touch
  Pad makes accessing your music and photos fast, easy, and fun.
• View tens of thousands of your favorite photos in vivid colors. Transfer pictures from your computer to your ZEN MicroPhoto, and the photos are automatically converted into space-saving JPEG format for ideal viewing.
• Amp up your music collection! Store up to 4,000 songs on ZEN MicroPhoto’s 8GB of memory. That’s 266 hours of never hearing the same song twice.
• Listen all day long – Enjoy up to 15 hours of continuous
  music on a single charge. When you’re on the go, tote along a spare
  battery so you never run out of power. Tune into the FM Radio get the latest news and sports reports, or Hollywood gossip.
• Stay on top of your day – When you’re having so much fun with your ZEN MicroPhoto,
  it’s easy to lose track of time. Tap into this smart player’s personal
  organizer. Never miss another meeting, birthday, or anniversary. You
  get a calendar, task list and contact list—all work seamlessly with
  Microsoft Outlook.
• Exercise Your Freedom – Get access to over 1 million songs
  with an annual or monthly subscription to Napster To Go, Rhapsody To
  Go. Listen to, download and transfer an unlimited amount of music
  without paying by track or album. Even buy songs individually without
  having to pay for the whole album.

Specifications:

• Storage Capacity: 8GB (4,000 songs)
• Battery Life: Up to 15 hours of continuous music
• Interface: USB 2.0
• Audio Support: MP3, WMA and WAV
• Signal-to-Noise Ratio: up to 98dB
• Display: Color OLED screen, 160×160 pixel resolution
• Set photos as wallpaper
• Choose from 8 different backlight color options (fire, jungle, pastel, romantic, peace, cool, earth, and vibrant)
• FM radio and voice recorder
• Contacts, calendar and tasks
• Repeat, resume, and random play
• Sleep and wake timers
• Customizable main menu
• Functions as an external hard drive
• 8 EQ settings (acoustic, classical, disco, jazz, new age, pop, rock and vocal)
• Size WxHxD: 2” x 3.3” x 0.7”
• Weight: 3.8oz with battery

In the box:

• Creative Zen 8GB Player
• 3.7V Lithium Ion Battery 830mAh
• USB Cable
• Earbud Headphone
• Installation CD
• User’s Manual

Lanny: Hold on, hold on, let me tweak the levels.

Steve: You ready?

Lanny: Ready.

Steve: (fires gun: KKKKKKKKRR!!) Nice! You get that one?

Lanny: Nah, forgot to turn the mic on. Reload and we’ll take another shot.

Steve: Ha! “Another shot!” Good one –

Mr. Oberkfell: What the hell is going on here? Is that a gun? Did you bring a gun into my audio lab?

Steve: Yeah, well, we needed to optimize this new SteelSound 4H Professional Gaming Headset for in-game sounds like gunfire.

Lanny: We figured, you know, what better way?

Mr. Oberkfell: What – are you – have you lost-

Steve: No need to thank us, Mr. O. All in a day’s work.

Mr. Oberkfell: But – you can’t – it’s incredibly -

Lanny:
Yeah, it’s just our little way of maintaining the high standards and
attention to detail that SteelSound is known for. The plush, oversized
ear cushions, the retractable uni-directional mic, that full, resonant
in-game sound – a headset this great deserves painstaking audio
craftsmanship. Least we could do.

Mr. Oberkfell: OK, uh, sure, yeah. Hey, what are you shooting there?

Steve: Just a basic .40 Smith & Wesson, you know, nothing fancy.

Mr. Oberkfell: Mind if I have a look?

Steve:
Sure, here you go. Go ahead, put your finger on the trigger, the
safety’s on. Feels nice, huh? You ever handle one of these things befo-
WHOA!

Lanny: Hey, man, hey! Don’t point that thing at us!

Mr. Oberkfell:
If you two lunatics don’t get the hell out of here, I’ll do more than
just point it. Go home. Now. Don’t come back. We’ll send your final
paychecks.

Warranty: One year

Features:

• Lightweight gaming headset with XL-sized earcushions
• Developed in cooperation with professional gamers
• Retractable uni-directional microphone system
• Volume control, featuring 3 microphone settings
• Full-size earcups for maximum individual comfort
• Strong and deep resonating in-game sound projection
• 0.2” SteelSound SunDancer(Sd) Units

Headphones

• Frequency response: 16 – 28.000 Hz
• Impedance: 40 Ohm
• SPL@ 1kHz, 1 Vrms: 110 dB
• Cable length: 6 feet

Microphone

• Frequency response: 75 – 16.000 Hz
• Pick up pattern: Uni-directional
• Sensitivity: -38dB
• Impedance: 2k Ohm

In the box:

• Headphones

Ah, the turning of the year. A time of regrets and recriminations. A time to consider all the ways we fell short in the past year, and all the ways our loved ones let us down. A time when we are reminded how little time we have left to make it right. Not that your problems are any of our concern - we’re in the temptation business. It’s not our fault if your pledge to spend wisely was undermined by that seductive singing Elvis head, or if the SnacDaddy made it that much harder for you to lose those unattractive extra pounds. Maybe you’ll find this challenge a little more realistic:

Show us how a 2007 Woot contributed to breaking your last set of New Year’s resolutions.

Any woot sold on any Woot site in 2007 is fair game. You can show yourself (or a visual surrogate - no need to post actual pictures of your real self, if that bothers you) breaking as many resolutions as you can cram into one picture, but one is enough, too.

Post your entry here by 11:59 PM CST on Wednesday, December 26, 2007 - consider the extra days our very cheap Christmas present to you.
Prizes are $20/$50/$100 for 3rd/2nd/1st. The rules and criteria for
winning: our panel of volunteer judges can and will make stuff up as it
goes along. Use Photoshop, linoleum blocks, pastels, MSPaint, cave
painting, tattoos, tribal scarification, whatever, but it’ll only be
judged if it’s visible in our forums as a jpg, gif, or png. As we are
fond of saying, try to keep your maximum width to 450px. If you need a
place to host your pictures, try www.imageshack.ws or www.photobucket.com.
We have no connection to either, but they seem free and easy to use.
And if you want us to be sure your entry was indeed your work, post
links to your source images. The more sure we are that you did your own
work, the more likely we are to consider it for a prize.

ring ring
Hey, girl! I was just thinking about you. Yeah, I was looking at that V7 5.6” Digital Photo Frame I got because of you. That’s right, the one with the USB port. You know, it takes Memory Stick and Secure Digital cards, and it supports JPEG.
Like the ones from the fair last weekend. Yeah, that’s what I’m looking
at now, I had it on slide show. We look good together, girl. We still
on for Wednesday night? I can’t wait to see you, girl. Listen, I gotta
run, but see you right after Christmas, okay? Okay.

ring ring
Baby! I was just thinking about you. Yeah, I was looking at that V7 5.6” Digital Photo Frame I got because of you. That’s right, the one with the USB port. You know, it takes Compact Flash and XD-Picture Cards, and it supports BMP
files. Like that one from the club of you and your friend. Yeah, that’s
the one. I’m looking at that right now. Listen, I’m sorry, so so sorry,
but I can’t make Wednesday night. No, I gotta work late. I really
wanted to see you, too. Hey, how about tonight? Baby, you look so good
on this high resolution screen. I know it’s last minute but I can’t
wait to see you, baby. So, tonight? I’ll see you then, baby.

ring ring
Honey, you always know when to call! I could listen to that voice all day. And I was, too. Yeah, I was using that V7 5.6” Digital Photo Frame I got because of you. That’s right, the one with the USB
port. It handles digital audio and video playback. It’s hot! So hot!
Listen, I was gonna ask you, I think I’m getting a cold. Is it okay if
we cancel tonight? It is? Aw, honey, you’re the best. I’m gonna use
this remote control to listen to your voice all weekend. We’re going
out for steaks when I’m all better. You know it. You too, honey, you
too.

ring ring
Hi, sweetheart, I was just calling to… oh, you wanna cancel our date on
Sunday? Well, yeah, I guess if you… you what? You just ordered a V7 5.6” Digital Photo Frame? The one with the USB
port? It’s gonna ship FedEx Overnight so you’ll have it in time for
Christmas? No, I said “It’s gonna ship FedEx Overnight so you’ll have
it in time for Christmas”? Wow, sweetheart, that’s… great. Yeah. For my
photo and no one else, just like I told you when I bought one. Wow.
Guess… I’m just a lucky guy.

Ships via: Orders placed prior to noon will ship FedEx Next Day shipping, to arrive Monday December 24. Not applicable for orders to PO boxes.

Warranty: 90 days

Features:

• 5.6” LCD display
• 400×240 Resolution
• Supports JPEG/BMP
• Slide Show feature
• USB Port
• Supports Memory Stick, Secure Digital Card, Compact Flash, XD-Picture Card
• Digital Video and Audio Playback
• Built-in Speaker
• Thin Type Remote Control

Lay that beat down…that’s right…here comes the Soyo FreeStyler 500…wireless handsfree Bluetooth convenience to ya motha…so I’ma go freestyle myself…kicking mad knowledge off the top of my head, unscripted, unedited, unabridged…here we go, y’all:

Step right up, come one, come all
I’m funna take a handsfree call
With my Soyo FreeStyler 500
That thing on my ear, in case you’re wondering
Bluetooth one-point-two compliant
‘Cause anything less is…uh…OK, hold up, hold up. Couldn’t think of anything that rhymes with “compliant.” Lemme try this again. Bring that beat back. A’ight, then! F’real this time:

Well it sits on my ear, leaves my hands free
Mobile phone, PDA, Voice over IP
The FreeStyler 500 from Soyo
Something, uh, something to do with a yo-yo
Keep the beat coming, don’t hit pause
It’s as ribs as Santa Claus
And then it makes calls, and it’s really, uh
Useful, I guess, and you know what? Never mind. Never mind. Lost my train of thought there. OK, one more time. I can do this thing, y’all. I can do this thing. And here’s how I do it:

I put the clip in the nine, I put the clip on my ear
Making handsfree calls while I shoot people, um, all year -
Man, forget it. The Soyo FreeStyler 500 is all the freestyle I need. I’m more of a studio MC anyway. I’m out! Paaaaaaaace!

Warranty: One year Soyo

Features:

• Ultra Lightweight at 13 grams with the clip on
• Detachable and Versatile Design
• 3 Ways of Wearing: Ear Plug, Ear StabilizeR Hook and Pocket Clip
• Bluetooth 1.2 compliant
• Long Lasting Battery supports 200 hour Standby time and 6hrs Talk time
• Compatible to mobile phones and PDAs
• Wireless connection with devices up to 30 feet away.
• Battery 3.7V Li-polymer battery 120mAh
• Charging Time: 1.5 hrs – 2 hrs.
• Power Class: 2
• Spread Spectrum: FHSS (79 channels) USA/EA
• Modulation: GFSK (gaussian freequency shift key)
• Interpolarity: Bluetooth Headset profile, Hands-Free profile or Audio Gateway role
• Security: Pairing, encryption, and authentication
• RF Output Power: Negative 6dBm ~ positive 4dBm
• Sensitivity: >0.1% BER at negative 80dBm
• Input power AC 100~240V, DC 5.10V/200mA
• Dimension: 58.70mm L x 21.55mm W x15.18mm H, Weight 16g

In the box:

• Soyo FreeStyler 500 Bluetooth Headset
• Pocket clip
• Ear stabilizer hook
• Spare sponge
• Charger
• Users manual
• Warranty card+

From the desk of Korey Kringle, CEO, Santasys Corp.:

First,
let me extend warm holiday greetings to all of the associates at our
North Pole headquarters, as well as our assembly plants in Guatemala
and Indonesia, and our satellite office in the Cayman Islands. Thanks
to your hard work and dedication, Santasys is approaching yet another
successful Christmas Eve. We’ll serve some 1.8 billion boys and girls
this year, and do it all by sunup. Please give yourselves a Christmas
bonus in the form of a hearty pat on the back. You’ve earned it.

Now,
I want to talk about something our elves have cobbled up that promises
to change the face of Christmas – or, at least, the floor of Christmas.
It’s the iRobot Roomba 510, one of the next generation of the popular
vacuum cleaning robots that so many of our clients have found under the
tree these last few years. That’s right – the Roomba you’re familiar
with has gotten even better, and Santasys will bring it into homes
around the world.

What are we talking about here? We’re
talking about more cleaning power, easier maintenance, improved
navigation. We’re talking about anti-tangle technology to deal with
cords and cables. We’re talking about a larger dustbin, and sensors
that reduce Roomba’s impact on walls and furniture. From its new side
brush to its new beater brush, the Roomba 510 is a smarter, faster,
stronger robot, to deal with the terrifying new superparticles found in
21st century carpets.

But the Roomba 510 is about more than
just a clean floor. It’s about finding a voice. A voice that walks you
through the initial set-up and lets you know when the 510 needs
maintenance. A strong, reassuring voice bringing a message of hope to
these troubled times. Because what good is a clean carpet if your mind
is littered with anxiety and fear?

I think I speak for the
entire Santasys organization when I say we couldn’t be more excited
about the Roomba 510. But we didn’t just touch our noses to make it
happen. A lot of people and elves did a lot of very hard work, from our
International Vice-Elf for Acquisitions, Glodo Twinklefeather, all the
way up to Starlena Dimpleglade, our Chief Sugarplum Officer. Please
accept my personal thanks, along with the mandatory thanks of all
Santasys associates.

Finally, I do have to make one
difficult announcement concerning the new Roomba 510 project. While my
father Kris remains an integral part of Santasys in his position as
Right Jolly Old Elf Emeritus, and his indomitable spirit will guide our
sleigh tonight and every night, the Board has decided that on-time
delivery of the Roomba 510 is too crucial to entrust to a team of
magical reindeer. Instead, we will utilize Fedex Express 2-Day Service
to ensure that a Roomba 510 will be under the tree for everyone who
wants one this year. Sorry, Dad. And Merry Christmas.

Warranty: One year iRobot

Features:

• A smart, efficient vacuum that picks up dirt, dust, pet hair and more from carpets and hard floors
• Cleans the whole floor, under and around furniture and along wall edges
• Automatically adjusts from carpets to hard floors and back again
• Detects dirtier areas and spends more time cleaning them
• Spot Clean provides quick clean-up of spills and concentrated messes
• Automatically senses and avoids stairs and other drop-offs
• Simple to use! Just press the Clean button and Roomba does the rest!
• Improved
  Virtual Wall tells Roomba where to clean by restricting off-limit areas
  ý now with longer battery life and streamlined design
• Faster counter-rotating brushes with improved design pick up more hair and debris and are easier to remove and clean
• Improved filter captures more dust and allergens while a larger bin holds more debris
• Improved anti-tangle technology keeps Roomba from getting stuck on cords, carpet fringe and tassels
• Improved side brush makes Roomba even more efficient at cleaning edges and corners

In the box:

• 1 iRobot Roomba 510
• 1 Virtual Wall (Requires 2 D batteries, not included)
• 1 Power Supply (3 hour charge time)
• 1 Brush Cleaning Tool
• 1 Rechargeable Battery
• 1 Extra Filter

Once upon a time there was a handsome prince who set out into the world to seek his bride. His mother, the Queen, disguised him in rags. His wealth and status and beauty now hidden, the Queen kissed both his cheeks for luck and sent him out into the kingdom. His only possession was an enchanted Belkin TuneCast Mobile FM Transmitter Three Pack, a gift to guide his way.

At the first house there was a beautiful woman with red hair. She sold vegetables for later use and everyone raved about her cans. The disguised prince offered her a Belkin TuneCast, telling her about the 10 – 30 foot signal range and the full stereo sound. He asked her to marry him. She only laughed, and said she would only ever marry a rich man with status. The prince thanked her and moved on.

The second house was a pretty woman with dark black hair. She ran a brewery with style and the whole town loved her for her jugs. The prince offered her a Belkin TuneCast, pointing out the compact cable management and now the single stereo plug meant that it could work with any iPod or PDA, CD player, cassette player, or even your PC or Laptop. He asked her to marry him. She laughed and said she needed a handsome man with fine clothes. The prince thanked her and moved on.

By the third house the prince was discouraged. He sat on the stoop. This house was owned by a plain woman with blonde hair. She raised owls. She asked the prince what was wrong and he told her he was doomed to be unloved and unwanted. In disgust, he offered her his last Belkin TuneCast, just to be rid of it. He was surprised when took it from his hand and thanked him.

The prince objected, warning her the Belkin TuneCast only transmitted on four channels, but she smiled and told him that it didn’t matter, she wanted it anyway. It was small enough to carry with ease and did the job it was made to do. It was charcoal gray and matched her only dress. And besides, it was a gift. The prince took her hand, and despite his rags, she blushed and and agreed to be his bride.

The Queen smiled as her son returned and was pleased to meet his new wife. And when she died, her son took the throne and ruled over a kingdom of prosperity and joy. For all the kingdom had learned an important lesson, thanks to the Belkin TuneCast Mobile FM Transmitter Three Pack.

Warranty: Belkin 3-Year Warranty

Features:

• Offers an operating range of 10–30 ft. (a distance of 10 ft. or less will minimize interference and provide the strongest signal)
• Connects portable music players to your car or home stereo – wirelessly.
• Transmits on FM 88.1, 88.3, 88.5, and 88.7MHz
• Features high-clarity, full-stereo sound
• Provides compact cable management
• 3.5mm Stereo Headphone Plug fits any standard audio output source
• Power Light and LED Indicator provides convenient power on/off with visual LED
• Cord Managemnt stows away cord neatly when not in use
• Comes with a Belkin 3-Year Warranty
• Includes two AAA batteries with each transmitter

In the box:

• Three Belkin Tunecast Mobile FM Transmitters
• Three User’s Manual
• Six AAA Batteries

If you poke around the web, you’ll find this camera available in all
kinds of fancypants colors: Red, pink, purple. Not here. Here it’s just
silver. Plain old, standard-issue, camera-colored silver.

Excuse
us, but we don’t shop at the My Little Pony Dream Stable, OK? Our goods
don’t come from the Bubble Gum Fairy’s Lollipop Land of Fantasies Come
True. We don’t tiptoe through the tulips to the enchanted land of
cotton candy delights to pick up wholesale electronics from Gingersnap
the Magic Dragon, who sleeps wrapped in a rainbow, farting essence of
vanilla.

Nope. We’re feet-on-the-ground types, not
head-in-the-clouds types. In our world, this camera is silver. And
dragon farts smell like brimstone.

So while the fanciful free spirit in you might kind of covet the funky hues this point-and-shooter’s available in elsewhere, the clear-eyed realist in you is going to say “dude. It’s got an 8MP resolution. The Kodak Retinar 3x optical aspheric all-glass lens captures nice, crisp detail. The color display is big and high-res enough to get a good look at our pictures even in those bright, sunny days that always make you want to take our shoes off, despite the risk of hookworm.  That’s not to mention the Easyshare 5100 that you’re practically getting for free. We’re talking the ability to scan and copy, print up to 32 ppm black and 30 ppm color (up to 4800×1200 dpi) and produce lab-quality 4 × 6 borderless photos in as little as 28 seconds. Get over yourself.”

Then, feeling bad that he’s hurt the free spirit’s feelings, the realist will buy him a pinwheel or something with some of the money the Easy Share 5100 Printer has saved you on ink.

Seriously, the ink is really cheap.
Warranty: One Year Kodak

Kodak V803 Features:

• 8.0 megapixel resolution (3273 × 2457)
• 1/1.8″ CCD (8.32 MP, 3350 × 2483)
• 3X optical zoom, 4X digital zoom
• 2.5″ diagonal LCD display
• 32MB internal memory
• Kodak Perfect Touch technology
• Digital image stabilization
• TTL auto focus
• Normal/macro/infinity auto focus modes
• AF assist light
• AE lock
• ISO sensitivity up to 1600
• Multiple metering modes
• Five white balance modes
• 22 scene modes
• Five color modes
• Three sharpness modes
• Multiple still/video review modes
• In-camera still/video editing
• 14 custom settings
• Burst mode
• Four flash modes
• Red-eye reduction
• Histogram display
• Multiple self-timers
• QuickTime MPEG-4 movie mode with audio
• On-camera favorites button
• ImageLink, PictBridge compatible
• SD/MMC memory card slot
• NTSC/PAL A/V output
• USB 2.0 port
• Measures approximately 4-1/8″W x 2-1/8″H x 1″D

Kodak Easy Share 5100 Features:

• Convenient 2-cartridge, 6-ink system
• Print up to 32 ppm black and 30 ppm color (up to 4800×1200 dpi)
• Lab-quality 4 × 6 in.borderless photos in as little as 28 seconds
• PC-free photo printing from PictBridge enabled cameras and USB drives
• 100-sheet main tray plus up to 20-sheet 4 × 6 in. photo tray
• Fast document scanning and automatic optical character recognition
• Intuitive controls
• Automated print settings for optimized print quality
• Powerful and friendly KODAK EASYSHARE Software
• High-density, 3,840 nozzle, high-performance, permanent printhead
• High-definition CCD scanner for brilliant, vivid photos and sharp, crisp documents
• Print borderless photos up to 8½ × 11 in. and documents up to 8½ × 14 in. 
• Scan documents or photos up to 8½ × 11.7 in.  
• Copy actual size or fit-to-page and make up to 9 copies at a time

In the box:

• KODAK EASYSHARE V803 Zoom Digital Camera
• KODAK Li-Ion Rechargeable Digital Camera Battery KLIC-7003
• Carry strap
• USB cable for camera
• 5V AC adapter with power cord(s) for in-camera battery charging
• Getting Started Guide with KODAK EASYSHARE Software
• Custom camera insert for optional KODAK EASYSHARE Camera and Printer Docks
• KODAK EASYSHARE 5100 All-in-One Printer
• KODAK Black Ink Cartridge
• KODAK Color Ink Cartridge
• Paper Sample Pack
• Power supply
• Setup Guide
• KODAK EASYSHARE Software
• KODAK EASYSHARE 5000 Series All-in-One Printer Software
• KODAK EASYSHARE Software
• USB printer cable not included

We didn’t get to where we are today without being shrewd. We gave
our employees Bonuses of Christmas instead of cashier’s checks. We
figured out how to cut costs in half by programming our Robosapiens to
build other Robosapiens. And we learned that it doesn’t really cost a
lot to buy off Merriam-Webster. Seriously, they totally took the first
offer. Library science majors, huh? Go figure. Anyway, we were talking
about us.

When we read the description of this refurbished RCA RT2770 1000 Watt 5.1 Home Theatre System we knew right away what was going on. RCA
calls it “an unparallelled audio experience”. And yeah, there are four
150 watt speakers, a 200 watt center speaker and a 200 watt subwoofer.
There’s a USB port for your MP3 Player
or digital camera or thumbdrive, and a built-in digital AM/FM tuner.
There’s six channel input and Dolby Digital output. It’s pretty well
thought out.

But really, you’re never going to fool anyone into thinking that the RCA RT2770 1000 Watt 5.1 Home Theatre System is a high-end system. We sure didn’t. And so what? What if you don’t care
about hearing the squeaky bass pedal in “Since I’ve Been Loving You”?
Who has the cash to get some crazy speaker made out of the gold they
found on the moon? We don’t, we just bought sixty thousand old
dictionaries at retail.

Part of business is knowing when to spend and when to reinvest. At this price, the RCA RT2770 1000 Watt
5.1 Home Theatre System makes for a pretty good balance of both. Grab
‘em now, make do for a few years, and then bump up to something top of
the line when those investments pay off. You’ll watch tv okay while you
wait and end up with more in your pocket in the end. See? That’s what
they call shrewd.

Warranty: 90 Day Woot

• RMS Output: 167 Watts per Channel (1KHz, 8 Ohm Dolby Digital Mode @ 10% THD)
• Total RMS Output Power Dolby Digital mode: 1000 W
• FTC Output Power Front and rear: 75 Watts per channel (1KHz, 8 Ohm, Dolby Digital Mode with 10% THD)
• FTC Output Power Center and subwoofer: 155 Watts per channel (1KHz, 8 Ohm, Dolby Digital Mode with 10% THD)
• Total FTC Output Power, Dolby Digital mode: 610 Watts
• Muting Attenuation: 65dB
• Frequency Response: 200Hz/-3dB, 1kHz ref.
• Subwoofer Frequency Response: 10 Hz / -3db, 80Hz ref.
• Signal to Noise Ratio: 65dB (Dolby digital mode)

AM Tuner Section

• Frequency Response: 2kHz +/-6dB, 1kHz ref.
• Usable Sensitivity: 800uV/m @ S/N 20dB
• Signal to Noise: 38dB
• IF Rejection: 35dB

FM Tuner Section

• Frequency Response: 15kHz +/-3dB, 1kHz ref.
• Quieting: 24dB
• Signal to Noise: 60dB(stereo) / 65dB(mono)
• IF Rejection: 50dB

Dimensions (H x W x D mm)

• Unit: 430 × 140 x 347
• Front and Surround Speakers: 143 × 80.5 × 93.7
• Center Speaker: 80.5 × 271 x 72
• Subwoofer: 355 × 195 x 325

We didn’t get to where we are today without being shrewd. We gave
our employees Bonuses of Christmas instead of cashier’s checks. We
figured out how to cut costs in half by programming our Robosapiens to
build other Robosapiens. And we learned that it doesn’t really cost a
lot to buy off Merriam-Webster. Seriously, they totally took the first
offer. Library science majors, huh? Go figure. Anyway, we were talking
about us.

When we read the description of this refurbished RCA RT2770 1000 Watt 5.1 Home Theatre System we knew right away what was going on. RCA
calls it “an unparallelled audio experience”. And yeah, there are four
150 watt speakers, a 200 watt center speaker and a 200 watt subwoofer.
There’s a USB port for your MP3 Player
or digital camera or thumbdrive, and a built-in digital AM/FM tuner.
There’s six channel input and Dolby Digital output. It’s pretty well
thought out.

But really, you’re never going to fool anyone into thinking that the RCA RT2770 1000 Watt 5.1 Home Theatre System is a high-end system. We sure didn’t. And so what? What if you don’t care
about hearing the squeaky bass pedal in “Since I’ve Been Loving You”?
Who has the cash to get some crazy speaker made out of the gold they
found on the moon? We don’t, we just bought sixty thousand old
dictionaries at retail.

Part of business is knowing when to spend and when to reinvest. At this price, the RCA RT2770 1000 Watt
5.1 Home Theatre System makes for a pretty good balance of both. Grab
‘em now, make do for a few years, and then bump up to something top of
the line when those investments pay off. You’ll watch tv okay while you
wait and end up with more in your pocket in the end. See? That’s what
they call shrewd.

Warranty: 90 Day Woot

• RMS Output: 167 Watts per Channel (1KHz, 8 Ohm Dolby Digital Mode @ 10% THD)
• Total RMS Output Power Dolby Digital mode: 1000 W
• FTC Output Power Front and rear: 75 Watts per channel (1KHz, 8 Ohm, Dolby Digital Mode with 10% THD)
• FTC Output Power Center and subwoofer: 155 Watts per channel (1KHz, 8 Ohm, Dolby Digital Mode with 10% THD)
• Total FTC Output Power, Dolby Digital mode: 610 Watts
• Muting Attenuation: 65dB
• Frequency Response: 200Hz/-3dB, 1kHz ref.
• Subwoofer Frequency Response: 10 Hz / -3db, 80Hz ref.
• Signal to Noise Ratio: 65dB (Dolby digital mode)

AM Tuner Section

• Frequency Response: 2kHz +/-6dB, 1kHz ref.
• Usable Sensitivity: 800uV/m @ S/N 20dB
• Signal to Noise: 38dB
• IF Rejection: 35dB

FM Tuner Section

• Frequency Response: 15kHz +/-3dB, 1kHz ref.
• Quieting: 24dB
• Signal to Noise: 60dB(stereo) / 65dB(mono)
• IF Rejection: 50dB

Dimensions (H x W x D mm)

• Unit: 430 × 140 x 347
• Front and Surround Speakers: 143 × 80.5 × 93.7
• Center Speaker: 80.5 × 271 x 72
• Subwoofer: 355 × 195 x 325

Look… look, we don’t have a lot of time. I know I’m just an action
figure but… I’ve seen things. Last month I was camping over by the
board games and that’s when I saw it. An unmarked Hawk Apache Double
Prop R/C Helicopter.

Everybody knows there’s an old Castle
Greyskull playset in there, but we all told ourselves it was unused.
Maybe those army men are behind it, maybe it’s the stuffed dinosaurs, I
don’t know now and I sure didn’t know then. All I could do was get out
of there as fast as I could.

Scared? Sure, I was scared. I
mean, have you seen a Hawk Apache Double Prop R/C Helicopter? It’s got
coaxial rotor technology that’s light years ahead of what we should be
using. There’s flight stabilizing system and a super lightweight
airframe that gives it a 200ft flight range. Plus I read in “Teddy Bear
Skeptic Monthly” that they come with a rechargeable battery and a
battery charger, and an owners manual and a remote control. They can
drive it from anywhere! You can’t stop something like that!

I
don’t know who they are but I know they’re looking for me. I know
because I figured it out. Somebody snuck into the room where they keep
all the Star Wars toys. You know, the ones still in their boxes? They
got in there and then they made a deal. That’s right. Alien technology.
Whoever is behind this, we’re not gonna take it lying down. We’re
action figures, right?

What’s that noise? Do you hear that
noise? Look, I gotta go. I’m on the run now. There’s a little
resistance unit forming in the couch cushions. Just remember to keep
your eyes open. By the time you see a Hawk Apache Double Prop R/C
Helicopter, it might already be too late.

Warranty: 90 days

Features:

• Full Function Remote Control
• Forward, Backward, Up and Down, Left and Right.
• Flies over 20M High
• Electric 180rpm Motor
• Fully Assembled, Ready To Flight Out Of The Box
• Removable Replaceable Blades (Includes Four Replacement Blades – Two “A” and Two “B”)
• Flashing Blue/Red LED Lights Mounted on the Sides of the Fuselage
• Rubber Rolling Wheels
• Rechargeable Ni-MH 8.4V 350mAh Battery Pack for Helicopter
• 27
  MHz Remote Control with Accelerator Lever Stick, Steering Control Lever
  Stick, On/Off Switch, Telescoping Antenna and Sliding Fine Adjustment
  Controls
• Remote requires Eight AA Batteries – Not Included
• Fuselage Length: 4 Inches
• Fuselage Width: 2 Inches
• Fuselage Height: 2 1/2 Inches
• Overall Length: 15 Inches
• Overall Height (Including Rotors): 7 Inches
• Coaxial (Double) Blade System with Weighted Overhead Stabilizer
• Single Blade Length: 6 Inches
• Overall Rotor Length: 13 1/2 Inches