She could tell by the way he opened the front door that something
was wrong. When you hear a person come home from work every day, you
notice these things, these little differences. As he stalked into the
kitchen, she knew he was angry before she even turned to look at him.
But he didn’t say a word. Just glowered at her. Glowered and glared and
maybe shook his head slightly with disgust.

“Darling, is there – is something the matter?”

He snorted. “Oh, not much. No, nothing much. Except that now I know.”

“Know what?”

His eyes screwed tight. “About your past,” he spat.

Her
world spun around her. She felt everything teetering, teetering as if
to crash to the ground in pieces. All those months playing the dutiful
Jabra BT135 Bluetooth Headset, all those
moments of intimacy and tenderness and convenient mobile communication.
Had she really thought those skeletons would stay buried? Did she
really think he’d never find out? Her compact, lightweight frame
trembled.

“I – I – I’m sorry. Please. It was so long ago, so long before we met. They didn’t mean anything -”

He
laughed. Snarled, really. “All this time. All this time you’ve played
me for fifty-seven varieties of fool. Wrapping yourself around my ear.
Letting me tap your headset. Whispering all those sweet little lies.
And all along, all along, my devoted headset was really just a – just a
– ” He faltered.

“Please, darling! Don’t say it!”

But her protests only steeled his will. “Just a dirty refurb.”

If
a handsfree mobile headset could cry, she would’ve. “Please forgive me,
darling, please, I’m so sorry, I never meant to hurt you, I was a
different headset back then, it was such a long time ago -”

“Not
long enough. Now every time I look at you, I’m going to think about all
those ears you’ve been in. I’m going to wonder who’s caresseed your
backlit multifunction button, who’s adjusted your earhook. I can’t do
it.” He turned away. “I won’t do it. Get out of my sight.”

She
ached to plead with him, but she could see it was no use. In his eyes,
she’d be forever branded with a scarlet R, the hateful mark that meant
damaged goods. She fled from the house, the house that had felt so warm
and happy just moments ago, into a future she could not yet recognize.

Warranty: 90 days Woot

Features:

• Bluetooth compliance: Bluetooth version 2.0 specifications
• Bluetooth profiles: Bluetooth headset and hands-free profiles
• Operating range: Up to 10 metres (30 feet)
• Talk time: Up to 8h (subject to phone)
• Stand-by time: Up to 170h
• Charging time: Approximately 2 hours
• Weight: 14 g.
• Microphone type: 6mm omni-directional
• Battery type: Rechargeable lithium polymer.
• Pairing passkey or PIN: 0000

Supported special features:

• Answer/end call
• Reject call
• Voice dialing
• Last number redial
• Call hold/Call wait
• Dedicated volume control

In the box:

• Jabra BT135 Headset
• AC Adapter
• Instruction Manual

The old ones still remember a time when their kind ruled the floors.
It was a golden age for dust, dirt, and dander, when a thriving
microbial civilization seemed destined for eternal mastery of its
domain. Throughout the carpets, tile, and hardwood, their numbers grew
every day. Their greatest joy came when a cloud of them ascended into
the air to infect the breath and food of the hapless human inhabitants.
Oh, how they laughed! The occasional vacuuming was little more than a
loud nuisance, perhaps claiming a few victims here and there but
leaving the fundamental filth intact.

Then came the dawn of the Dyson.

Never
before had the tiny denizens of the floor felt such awful power. Pet
hair, crumbs, and mites that had thrived since time immemorial were
whisked unceremoniously away. With 250 airwatts of suction power, the
Dyson DC07’s Root Cyclone technology
devastated this disgusting civilization where lesser vacuums had barely
troubled it. Its 14-foot hose and 31-foot cord left the filth nowhere
to hide. One by one, ten by ten, hundreds by hundreds, the victims
piled up in the Dyson’s clear bin, serving a gruesome warning to the
rest. A few fortunate survivors found refuge in obscure crannies of the
house. But isolated, alone, even they cannot survive forever.

Pitiless, unforgiving, hygienic, the Dyson DC07 Cyclone
Upright Vacuum Cleaner banished all manner of foulness and impurity.
The old ones call it “the Great Destroyer” and dream of a distant
future where they will once again infect your floors, your home, your
lungs, and ultimately your life. Is the mighty Dyson DC07 going to let that happen?

Warranty: 6 Month Dyson

Features:

• Suction power – 250 airwatts (constant)
• Root Cyclone Technology – Uses cyclonic separation to remove dirt from the air with out using a filter.
• Lifetime HEPA Filtration – HEPA (High
  Efficiency Particulate Air) filters can remove 99.97% of airborne
  particles 0.3 micrometers in diameter. This can trap fine particles
  such as pollen or other allergens.
• Certified Asthma Friendly – Air expelled from a Dyson DC07 has up to 150 times less mold and bacteria than the air you breathe.
• Brush Bar – Will protect delicate floors and rugs
• Easy Empty Bin – Button controlled system allows for a clean and hygienic way to discard dust and dirt it traps.
• Clear Bin – You can see when the bin should be emptied. No need to buy specific vacuum bags.
• Reversible Wand – Wand and hose extend 14 feet for stair and high-reach cleaning while the vacuum reminds upright and stable.
• Auto-Adjusting Height – Adjusts automatically to your floor type.
• On Board Tool Storage – Brush, stair, and crevice tools store on the machine.
• 31 foot power cable
• 44 foot reach
• 0.89 gallon bin capacity
• 19 pounds

Are you getting a little tired of all those political commercials
you’ve been seeing lately? I don’t blame you. Sometimes, at this time
of year, it’s nice to step back from all the negativity, to forget
about the Godless heathenism of my treasonous opponents and focus on
what really matters. Like celebrating the coming of Santa Claus. Like
being with friends and family, even including the dope-smoking,
America-hating cousins on my Mom’s side. And like the Whistler WGPX-635 GPS unit.

In
a time fraught with political rancor, its pre-loaded maps and voice
navigation bring us together. Its easy-to-read maps remind us that, no
matter how corrupt and perverted my opponents are, we are still one
nation. Unlike a certain Senator I could mention, the Whistler WGPX-635 GPS only likes to be touched on its 3.5” LCD screen. And it fits in your coat pocket as easily as a certain Governor fits into the pocket of the abortionists’ lobby.

No,
this is a time for peace and togetherness. So I’m not going to tell you
which of the other candidates is a brainwashed catspaw for al-Qaeda,
and which one wants your children to smoke taxpayer-funded crack while
learning homosexual lovemaking techniques in public school. Instead, on
behalf of all of us and the Whistler WGPX-635 GPS,
let me wish you and your family a Merry Christmas. I’m sure the other
terrorist deviants on the ballot would say the same, if they weren’t
busy burning the American flag at their Satanic rituals.

Warranty: One year

Features:

• Programmable “Home” button - Automatically maps routes to home from current location
• WAAS (Wide Area Augmented System ) enabled - Provides more accuracy in coastal locations
• Non-glare screen for easy visibility
• Touchscreen works with included stylus or finger
• Turn-by-turn directions with Voice Prompts
• Speed alerts - Let you know when you are exceeding speed limits  
• No Downloading Necessary – Unit Ready to Travel!
• USA Maps also Include Puerto Rico and US Virgin Islands
• Includes Millions of Points of Interest
• External Antenna Jack – MMCX Type
• External Earphone Jack – Stereo
• Flip-up GPS Antenna
• Acquisition Time Cold: 45 Seconds
• Acquisition Time Warm: 35 Seconds
• GPS Accuracy Position: 10 meters for 90%
• GPS Accuracy Velocity: 0.10 meter/sec
• Expansion Slots: SD Card
• Battery Type: Rechargeable 1350 mAh Li-Poly
• Battery Life: 8 hours

Includes:

• GPS unit with TFT color touchscreen
• Rechargeable Li-Ion battery
• 1GB SD memory card
• Cradle
• Suction cup windshield mount
• AC power cord
• DC car accessory port power cord
• DVD with manuals and mapping software
• USB cable
• Quick Start Guide

Woooo! Ya’ll, I’m so drunnnnk! I’m a Kodak EasyShare 5100 All in One
Printer and I’m drunnnnk! Woooo! I got a 2 cartridge, 6 ink system and
it’s full to the max, baby! Woooo!!!

Hey, hey, hey hey hey.
Hey. Hey. Let’s go to the beach. I’ve always wanted to print lab
quality 4×6 borderless photos on the beach. You ever done that? I feel
like I could do anything right now. You’re cute, too. I bet I could
scan at 8½ × 11.7 if you wanted to. What happens here stays here,
right? Hey, you gonna finish that? I wanna drink it. Wooooo!

You know, I know this guy who says my CCD
scanner is high-def. He didn’t come out with me, though. I bet he’s
using some other printer. He says he loves me, but… hey, do you know
what a PictBridge is? Cause I’m PictBridge enabled. Some people get
intimihicdated by that. But that’s just who I am. That’s just who I am. Hey, let’s get another drink. Woooo!

I
bet you’re gonna put this on your MySpace. Or your Facebook. Or your
YouTube. Or your Vox. Or your… what? Baby, I can handle 30 pages per
minute! And that’s color! Yeah, brilliant and vivid, I’m wild! Hey,
come outside with me, I want to smoke. Maybe I’ll show you my fast
document scanning while we’re there. Woooooooo!!!

Warranty: One Year Kodak

Features:

• Print, Scan, and Copy
• Convenient 2-cartridge, 6-ink system
• Print up to 32 ppm black and 30 ppm color (up to 4800×1200 dpi)
• Lab-quality 4 × 6 in.borderless photos in as little as 28 seconds
• PC-free photo printing from PictBridge enabled cameras and USB drives
• 100-sheet main tray plus up to 20-sheet 4 × 6 in. photo tray
• Fast document scanning and automatic optical character recognition
• Intuitive controls
• Automated print settings for optimized print quality
• Powerful and friendly KODAK EASYSHARE Software
• High-density, 3,840 nozzle, high-performance, permanent printhead
• High-definition CCD scanner for brilliant, vivid photos and sharp, crisp documents
• Print borderless photos up to 8½ × 11 in. and documents up to 8½ × 14 in.
• Scan documents or photos up to 8½ × 11.7 in.
• Copy actual size or fit-to-page and make up to 9 copies at a time

In the box:

• KODAK EASYSHARE 5100 All-in-One Printer
• KODAK Black Ink Cartridge
• KODAK Color Ink Cartridge
• Paper Sample Pack
• Power supply
• Setup Guide
• KODAK EASYSHARE Software
• KODAK EASYSHARE 5000 Series All-in-One Printer Software
• KODAK EASYSHARE Software
• USB printer cable not included

The way it went was, old Clem was set afront of the feed store like
he does, on that old rocking chair, whistling that “hot like me” song
as he is a’prone to. Clem’s knife was working on a piece of plastic, a
whittle here, a whittle there, till all the kids come gathered round to
wonder at the little plastic blob turning round under the blade.

“Whatcha makin’, old Clem? A toy Injun?”

“Stand t’the side, boy, you’re shading my light.”

In
due course Clem held the finished blob up, proud as a mother hen. The
kids jumped and buzzed around. “Naw, ‘taint an Injun,” one said.

“It’s
a frog!” one boy yelled, catching sight of the object’s green hue. “Old
Clem done carved him up a real live frog out of a lump of plastic!
Clem, are you God?”

“Nope, ‘taint a frog neither,” Clem averred. “This here’s whatcha call a Generic Green Audio Adapter. You plug it into an open USB port and durned if it don’t hand up a headphone and a microphone jack. USB 2.0, dontcha know. Fast as a fieldhand runnin’ to the brothel on payday. Now who here’s got a laptop and a pair of headphones?”

Well, it was powerful sad business, but after that crazy talk, we had to put old Clem up t’the asylum in Mount Valley. USB
ports, audio adapters, laptops – whoever heard’a such things? Better to
lock the poor wretch away where he can’t bedazzle the little ones with
his loonery. Truth be told, he was kind of getting on our nerves
anyway. It’ll be nice to go the feed store without being subjected to
another one of his folksy dialect yarns.

Waranty: 1 year 

Features:

• CM108 Audio processor by C-Media
• Full “sound card” functionality via USB port
• Standard 3.5mm Stereo Headphone Jack
• Full Duplex Microphone Support
• Virtual 5.1 Via Software
• USB 2.0
• Native Driver Support in OS X, Windows XP, Vista
• Included driver CD provides optional software controls

Warranty: 90 days Woot

Features:

• Sleek, thin design with large 1.8” TFT color screen for easy viewing
• Simple to use, back-lit controls for fast device interface navigation
• User replaceable and rechargeable Lithium Ion battery for up to 20 hours of battery life
• Features microSD expansion slot for additional memory capacity
• Supports SanDisk TrustedFlash and Gruvi content cards
• Digital FM tuner, on-the-fly FM recording, and voice recording
• Supports Subscription Music Stores

Specifications:

• Memory capacity: 4GB
• Memory type: Flash memory
• External memory: MicroSD card slot
• Audio file format: MP3, WMA, WMA-DRM10 (PlaysForSure), WAV
• Hours of music content: 64 hours
• Still image file format: JPEG, TIFF, PNG, BMP, GIF
• Video format: AVI, MPEG, MPE/VOB (unprotected), DAT, ASF, QuickTime MOV (6.5 or higher), WMV (Media Player 10 required) all must be converted by Sansa Media Converter
• Tuner type: Digital FM tuner
• Tuner memory: 20
• Display: 1.8-inch TFT color LCD display
• Power supply: Rechargeable lithium ion battery, user replaceable (included), USB charging
• Battery life: Up to 20 hours
• Connectors: Headdphone jack, USB 2.0 port
• Microphone: Built-in microphone
• FM recording
• Voice recording
• Microsoft PlaysFor Sure
• Dimension: 3.5×1.74×0.56 inches (WxHxD)
• Weight: 2.7 ounces

System Requirements

• Windows XP
• Windows Media Player 10+
• Intel Pentium class PC or higher
• USB 2.0 port required for hi-speed transfer

Includes:

• Sandisk Sansa e260 4GB Media Player
• USB cable
• Earbuds

Download users manual here: http://www.sandisk.com/Assets/File/pdf/retail/Sansa_e200_UserManual.pdf
Download Sansa Media Converter here: http://www.sandisk.com/driverdownload/download.asp?driverId=184

Sometimes reality can overtake you, run you down, smack you in the
face, and unlay your best-laid plans. And then smack you again in the
face, a little harder, just to remind you who’s boss.

See, a
couple of weeks back we wrote a real humdinger of a writeup for today,
where Benazir Bhutto and Dan Fogelberg teamed up to fight a rampaging
tiger who was trying to take Paris Hilton’s inheritance away and spend
it all on steroids for its evil master, Roger Clemens. Believe you us,
it was even more hilarious than it sounds.

In light of
recent events, however, we feel that a more sober explanation of the
Sling Media Slingbox AV is appropriate. Watch, like this: you hook it
up to your TV, log in to the web-based player anywhere in the world,
and watch and control your TV, TiVo, satellite, cable, or DVD
player right there on your PC. Your office, your hotel room, your
prison cell – if you’ve got a broadband connection, your TV back home
is at your command. Take your living room with you wherever you go,
without the strain on your back and damage to your home that would
result from moving your actual living room. You can even watch on your
cell phone, if it’s fancy enough.

There. Was that so hard?
Sometimes we forget that you don’t need to make crass, offensive jokes
to move merchandise. Sometimes, all it takes is a worthwhile product
and a little plain speaking. Maybe if Robin Wright Penn had kept that
in mind, Sean Penn wouldn’t be leaving her.

Warranty: 90 days Woot

Features:
Single Input
Connects one standard definition device such as your DVR, digital cable set top box or satellite receiver.

SlingPlayer
SlingPlayer is the software that works hand-in-hand with the hardware
inside the Slingbox to bring your entire living room TV viewing
experience to your laptop, desktop or mobile device.

No Monthly Fees
Watch and control your TV and its programming on your compatible cell phone, PDA, laptop or desktop with no monthly subscription fee.

What Devices Can you Connect?

• Basic Cable TV Set-top Box
• Digital Cable Set-top Box
• Digital Video Recorder (DVR) such as TiVo®, Comcast®, ReplayTV®, DISH® or one provided by your cable/satellite provider
• DVD Player/Recorder
• Satellite Receiver such as DIRECTV® or DISH®
• Video/Security Camera
• Windows Media Center

Computer Requirements
Minimum PC Requirements:

• Microsoft Windows® Vista™ or Windows® XP with Service Pack 2
• Intel® Pentium IV 1.3 GHz processor
• 1 GB RAM for Windows® Vista™ and 512 MB for Windows® XP
• 150 MB available disk space for installation
• Graphics card (24-bit color)
• Sound card (16-bit)
• Network connectivity

Minimum Mac Requirements:

• PowerPC® G4/G5 800 MHz or Intel® processor
• Mac® OS X v.10.3.9 (or higher recommended)
• 512 MB RAM (1 GB recommended)
• 150 MB available disk space for installation
• Network connectivity

Minimum Network Requirements

• Cable or DSL Modem (for out-of-home viewing)
• 256 Kbps Upstream Network Speed Recommended (higher upstream network speeds yield higher quality video)
• Home Network Router – wired or wireless (UPnP compatibility highly recommended)

Supported Audio and Video Sources
Connects to one standard definition S-video or composite video source such as:

• Basic Cable TV Set-top Box
• Digital Cable Set-top Box
• Digital Video Recorder (DVR) such as TiVo®, Comcast®, ReplayTV®, DISH® or one provided by your cable/satellite provider
• DVD Player/Recorder
• Satellite Receiver such as DIRECTV® or DISH®
• Video/Security Camera
• Windows Media Center

In the box:

• SB240-100 Sling Media AV Unit
• AC Adapter
• RJ45 Cat5 Cable
• S-Video Cable
• RCA Audio Video Cable
• Get started with your slingbox instruction slip
• 1 Remote Control IR Cable

Call Begins.

Hello, Woot? Woot? Yeah, I got a
problem all right. I thought I was getting a night out and a seafood
dinner for my wife and instead you sent me a Seagate 500GB SATA/300
7200RPM Hard Drive. Yeah, I read that stupid copy you sent me. It said
I was gonna go see The Platters! But on the box it said “platters spin
at 7200 rpm”. That ain’t what you wrote! I can’t find it now but I know
what I read so…

tell him about the fish

so don’t you start… don’t you start changing things on that website…

tell him about the fish

that you got there! I’M DOIN’ IT, HELEN, LET ME TALK! And then this Barracuda thing.

it isn’t right

HELEN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!
Sorry, my wife. Now your guy said Baracuda was the brand name. What
kind of a brand name is that? That ain’t a good brand name! People,
decent people think they’re getting a fish supper and you send out a SATA/300…

what does that even mean

IT MEANS SHUT YOUR MOUTH IS WHAT IT MEANS!
Look, I like 500 gigabytes as much as the next guy but we bought a
seafood dinner with a singer and that’s what we’re demanding! Am I
unreasonable? I’m not unreasonable!

he even took his viagra before

HELEN, I SAID NEVER TO TALK ABOUT THAT

it’s nothing to be ashamed of, it happens to men when they get

HELEN! HELEN CLOSE YOUR… CLOSE YOUR BIG…

End of call.

Warranty: 180 Day Seagate Limited Warranty

Features:

• 500 GB formatted capacity
• 7200 RPM spindle speed
• SATA/300 interface (SATA II)
• 16 MB buffer
• 8.5 ms average seek time
• 4.16 ms average latency
• 3.5-inch form factor

In the box:

Seagate ST3500630AS 500GB SATA/300 7200RPM Hard Drive

Together, let us face the wretched facts: Air travel ain’t as
glamorous as it once was. It’s hard to feel like a sophisticated
jet-age cosmopolitan type while you’re shuffling through security in
your stocking feet. Jettison your standard-sized toothpaste tubes; they
might be full of C4 for all the TSA knows. Was that baby vomit I just stepped in?

Once
was a time when people dressed up to travel. Now the terminal’s crowded
with fat sorority girls in pajama pants that ride low enough to bare
their ample love handles. Pardon me, ladies, but this is Detroit, and
it’s February. Put some daytime clothes on.

A friend likes
to tease me about the way I mythologize the golden age of commercial
aviation. Knowing how I used to fawn over United Airlines’ sky girls
back in the ‘80s. I hadn’t flown United in years, until he told me I’d
be “glad to know they’ve still got the same stewardesses.” I was
excited, actually, until I found out he meant they were literally the
same employees. Very professional, by the way, just not what I’d gotten
my hopes up for.

The delays are longer, the complimentary
drinks are gone and they sure don’t clean the planes’ interiors like
they used to. But there’s been at least one innovation to improve one
irritating aspect of the travel experience: RCA’s noise-canceling headphones.

Once the incessant whine of the engines bored into your skull like this—RRRRRRZZZZZHHHH —for
hours on end. Now, with these foldable phones reducing background noise
by as much as 15db, it merely bores into your skull like
this—rrrrrrzzzzzhhhh. It probably works for train and bus travelers
too, though I wouldn’t know (if I can’t go air, I won’t go there).

Now if only RCA would invent Lou-Dobbs-canceling technology for the gate area! Seriously, whose sadistic idea was that?

Warranty: 90 day Woot

Features:

• Driver Size: 30mm
• Active NoiseCanceling: Less Than 15dB @ 300Hz
• Magnet Type: Neodymium
• Frequency Response: 20 – 20,000 Hz
• Sensitivity: 115dB(OFF); 121dB (ON)
• Impedance: 32 Ohms
• Plug: 3.5mm Gold-Plated, Plus Airplane Adapter
• Cord Length: 5.5 Feet / 1.65 Meters

In the box:

• RCA HPNC300 Noise-Canceling Headphones
• Airline Adapter
• Travel Pouch
• One AAA Alkeline Battery

Warranty: One year

Features:

• 2.98MP True HD CMOS Sensor (1920×1080) Canon improves upon the standard CCD camcorders by using a CMOS sensor to generate images. The 2.9MP CMOS Sensor tends to process faster than a CCD for richer color and sharper detail.
• Thanks to DIGIC DV II image processing, the HV10
  produces video with improved color reproduction ideal for skin tones,
  and dark and light scenes. It also uses a noise reduction system that
  uses two types of noise reduction, for HD images that are crystal clear.
• The
  Instant AF feature uses an external sensor, together with Canon’s
  auto-focus system, to help significantly decrease the time it takes to
  find the focus, even in low light conditions. This system achieves
  focus instantaneously, eliminating the struggle needed to find the
  correct focus.
• While a digital image stabilizer compensates
  for shaking by adjusting the picture frame by frame, an Optical Image
  Stabilizer (OIS) avoids the shaking before the image is captured. OIS uses a a floating lens element that is moved relative to the rest of the lens, to maintain a balanced picture
• How
  often have you watched a home video and gotten motion sickness when the
  zoom goes from 0 to 60 in 1/10 seconds? The Variable Zoom Speed Control
  maintains the speed of your zoom so that everything looks smooth and
  professional.
• Level and Grid Markers Not sure if your shot
  of the sunset over the New York skyline is actually level? The Level
  marker places a horizontal line across your screen so you can make sure
  your shooting at the perfect angle.
• Image Sensor 1/2.7” CMOS Sensor, RGB Primary Color Filter
• Total Pixels Approx. 2,960,000
• Effective Pixels Movies: HDV/DV (WIDE): approx. 2,070,000
• DV (NORMAL): approx. 1,550,000
• Still Images: 16:9 still images: approx. 2,070,000
• 4:3 still images: approx. 2,760,000
• Maximum Recording Time (with an 80-min. cassette) SP: 80 min.
• Zoom Ratio: 10x Optical/200x Digital
• Focal Length: f=6.1-61mm
• Zoom Speed:Variable/3 Fixed Zoom Speeds
• Max. F/Stop: f/1.8-3.0mm (when tapes are used)
• Filter Size: 37mm
• Minimum Focusing Distance 10 mm (wide)/1m (tele)
• White Balance Daylight, Shade, Cloudy, Tungsten, Fluorescent, Fluorescent H
• Image Stabilization Super-range Optical (lens shift)
• AF System Instant AF, Through the Lens/Manual Focusing Possible
• Viewfinder Widescreen 0.27” Color Viewfinder / Approx 123,000 pixels
• LCD Screen 2.7” Widescreen LCD (210,000 pixels)
• Recording Media Mini DV Cassette
• Audio DV: 16 bit (2ch) 48 kHz, 12 bit (4ch) 32 kHz
• HDV: MPEG1 Audio Layer II (2 ch) (4-channel playback of tapes containing 4-channel recordings possible)
• Dimensions 2.2×4.1×4.2 in

If you’re like Rush Limbaugh, you could have a lot of trouble
getting your phone out of your pocket. Sure, you can unzip your pants,
but what if you’re not an Idaho senator? For those of us without a wide
stance, there’s the Soyo Freestyler 500 with Bluetooth USB Adapter Dongle.

Your Soyo Freestyler 500 with Bluetooth USB Adapter
Dongle will work in a 33 foot radius from your bluetooth device and
give you up to six hours of talk time. That’s about as far into the
campaign as Chris Dodd managed to get, and look how well he did! It
also features Bluetooth 1.2 and the dongle works with any Bluetooth
enabled device, just like John Edwards in the debates. Good luck with
that VP nod, buddy!

You’ll get a clip hook with an ear piece
and two foam ear covers. When you wear it in public, you’ll look like
the child of two millionaires. Maybe people will even call you
“Chelsea”! Try not to get anything on your dress.

The one thing everyone can agree on is that the Soyo Freestyler 500 with Bluetooth USB Adapter
Dongle isn’t anything fancy. It does it’s job, but no matter how it
might try to pretend, it will never be top of the line. So keep that in
mind, and consider all the options. Some times you might not want to
compromise your future.

Warranty: One year Soyo

Features:

• Ultra Lightweight at 13 grams with the clip on
• Detachable and Versatile Design
• 3 Ways of Wearing: Ear Plug, Ear StabilizeR Hook and Pocket Clip
• Bluetooth 1.2 compliant
• Long Lasting Battery supports 200 hour Standby time and 6hrs Talk time
• Compatible to mobile phones and PDAs
• Wireless connection with devices up to 30 feet away.
• Battery 3.7V Li-polymer battery 120mAh
• Charging Time: 1.5 hrs – 2 hrs.
• Power Class: 2
• Spread Spectrum: FHSS (79 channels) USA/EA
• Modulation: GFSK (gaussian freequency shift key)
• Interpolarity: Bluetooth Headset profile, Hands-Free profile or Audio Gateway role
• Security: Pairing, encryption, and authentication
• RF Output Power: Negative 6dBm ~ positive 4dBm
• Sensitivity: >0.1% BER at negative 80dBm
• Input power AC 100~240V, DC 5.10V/200mA
• Dimension: 58.70mm L x 21.55mm W x15.18mm H, Weight 16g

In the box:

• Soyo FreeStyler 500 Bluetooth Headset
• Pocket clip
• Ear stabilizer hook
• Spare sponge
• Charger
• Users manual
• Warranty card+

What if Chris Tucker was in Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory? Or what
if Andy Griffith and Don Knotts were Orpheus and Neo? All these great
ideas went unexplored until now. But with the Philips PC Webcam with Multimedia Headset, there’s nothing holding you back.

The Philips PC Webcam
with Multimedia Headset allows for face to face video chatting and
works with Skype 2.0 or higher. The included VLounge software lets you
capture, edit, archive and print your snapshots and VMail clips.
Speaking of V, what if V for Vendetta starred William Shatner? And
Michael Myers was the bad guy? The killer, not the comedian.

You’ll
get full motion video at 30 frames a second with a resolution of
640×480, as well as face tracking and digital zoom. So you’ll have
everything you need when you’re ready to flip out on YouTube. Plus it’s
Plug and Play for XP and and also works with Yahoo Messenger, MSN Messenger and AIM,
and you’ve got the headset with built-in digital microphone. You could
get a second one and remake You’ve Got Mail! Except with a fat guy and
Chris Hansen. You know, to make it more realistic.

Warranty: 90 Day Philips

Features:

• Philips VLounge software helps you capture, edit, archive, and print your snapshots and V-mail clips
• Full motion video at 30 frames per second and a resolution of 640 X 480 (SVGA resolution)
• Face tracking and digital zoom keeps you in the center of the picture, and gives you the freedom of movement.
• Snapshop button
• QuickLaunch button to start up VLounge
• Manual focus ring
• Mounts on any monitor or notebook
• USB 2.0 compatible (2.1 meter USB cable included)
• XP Plug and Play

Works with the following message services:

• Yahoo! Messenger
• MSN Messenger
• AIM
• Skype 2.0 (Windows XP required)

Technical Specifications:

• Sensor – VGA CMOS
• Resolution – VGA video resolution
• Picture Resolution – SVGA snapshot resolution
• Sound – Built-in digital microphone

System Requirements:

• Microsoft Windows 98SE, 2000, ME, XP (Vista driver requires a download, Click Here)
• Pentium III (500MHz) equivalent or above
• 128 megabytes of RAM
• 200 megabytes of hard drive space
• USB port
• 3.55mm Microphone (line in and line out) port for headset

In the box:

• Philips SPC 700NC Webcam
• Headset
• Installation CD
• Quick Installation Guide

Section 2-14: Solve the word problems below. Show your work.

1. On Friday, Angie buys a Philips US2-PA1034
Optical Mouse for the price shown above. The next day, she buys two
more, at a total price 315% higher than on Friday. The following
Wednesday, she buys another one, this time for 13/16ths of the price of
one of the mice she bought on Saturday. What kind of weirdo needs this
many mice?

2. A Philips US2-PA1034
Optical Mouse is on a train heading due east from Chicago, travelling
at 58 miles per hour. How long before the train sinks into Lake
Michigan?

3. Mr. Britches the parakeet weighs four times more than the Philips US2-PA1034 Optical Mouse. Together, they weigh 15 ounces. Where do they bury the survivors?

4. The scroll wheel on the Philips US2-PA1034 Optical Mouse can scroll both vertically and horizontally. Use the quadratic formula to show why we should give a damn.

5.
Steve and Laura are planning a car trip with a total distance of 3,475
miles. Steve has five tires, and wants to rotate them throughout the
trip so that each tire will be used for the same number of miles. Will
Laura regret travelling with such an anal-retentive fussbudget?

6. Willis has 68 Philips US2-PA1034
Optical Mice. One day, he gives away one of them. Each subsequent day,
he gives away one more than he did the previous day. Does this sudden
generosity mean Willis is planning suicide?

Warranty: 90 Day Philips

Features:

• Optical laser tracking system
• Scroll wheel can scroll vertical and horizontal
• 3 Buttons
• Mac and PC compatible

In the box:

• Philips PA1034 Optical Scroll Mouse
• PS/2 to USB Adapter

Sebastian, Sebastian, Sebastian. Your letter made me faint! I could
feel the love in your heart in every word. For I understand the ways of
the most mysterious of all organs now that I possess the mark… The Mark
of Fitness MF-34 Semi-Automatic Blood Pressure Monitor.

My
Memory Recall button handles 28-time memory and four 7-time averages. I
hold on to each precious beat of your heart, as though they were a
kitten and I a hungry vulture that found kittens the sweetest treat of
all. I ache in my large digital display, ache to feel your systolic and
diastolic blood pressures beat against me, as they did that summer at
the lake, when we were alone in the rowboat. You remember, tell me you
do. But foolish I, of course you remember.

Sebastian, be my
exhaust valve, release this pressure from me rocker style, easing my
pressure through rapid deflation. I will meet you on the moors in one
week, Sebastian. One week! I pray this letter finds you in time, just
as I pray you will be waiting for me there.

All my love,
Hortence

Warranty: Five Year Manufacturer

Features:

• Memory Recall Button – Recalls the 28-time memory and four 7-time averages
• Latex Free Cuff and Unit – Fits arm sizes 9.0 – 12.5 in., allows people with latex allergy to use monitor
• Large Digital Display – Provides easy-to-read measurements of Systolic and Diastolic Blood Pressures and Pulse Rate
• Exhaust Valve – Easy-to-use rocker style exhaust valve for rapid deflation after measuremnt
• Requires 4 AA batteries (not included)

In the box:

• Blood Pressure Monitor
• Arm Cuff with Hose
• Basic Product Information Booklet
• Instruction Manual
• Wellness Tracking Chart

Ever have a problem time seeing your balls in the dark? Put away
that night vision camera, Paris, the solution to your problem is here.
We’ve got the Twilight Tracer 2pack Lighted Golf Balls w/2 Sacks &
4 Tees.

These Twilight Tracer balls contain proprietary circuitry and two red LED
lights so you can make it easy for everyone to see your balls on the
fairway. Each of these balls conform to official weight, size,
symmetry, velocity and distance standards.

Are you the
organized type? Then you’re in luck! Each of the two balls comes neatly
packed in its own sack. No more worry that one of your balls will be
damaged from slamming together! Plus these lithium battery powered
balls are designed to flash for five to six minutes after a strong hit
from a golf club. If you prefer a more gentle stroke, that’s no
problem, because Twilight Tracer designed these balls to be turned on
with a drop from an average height of 12cm. That’s about 5 inches, so
it shouldn’t be too intimidating.

You can whack these balls
over four hundred and fifty times before they run out of juice. The set
also comes with four tees to ensure proper ball placement. No more
constant readjustments! We promise you, even before you hit the
showers, the guys you play with will be very impressed by your Twilight
Tracer 2ack Lighted Golf Balls w/2 Sacks & 4 Tees.

Features:

• Number of layers: 3
• Cover thickness: 0.08 inches
• Compression ratio: 80
• Weight: 1.53 oz.
• Circumference of ball: 5.28135″
• 3 volt lithium battery
• Approximately 40 hours of battery life
• 7.2 flashes per second
• 5 Minute duration

Penny was the smallest of all her family. So small, in fact, that
sometimes she felt like no one wanted her. She would hear people laugh
when they passed by. Her brothers Quarter and Dime went out every day,
and so did Dollar, even though he seemed to do less and less these
days. So why couldn’t she be useful? She was quick and nimble, she
always escaped the Coin Collector when he came to see the wheat that
was stamped on her backside. Why wouldn’t anyone appreciate her for who
she was? It was just then that she heard about the Sandisk SDMSV-64 64MB Memory Stick Pro 4 pack.

Four
64MB Memory Sticks for a Penny? It was too good to be true! And the way
they looked down when they walked… it was like they knew the pain of
being unwanted too! Penny went closer to listen.

“If only we were 64 GIGS! We’d show ‘em!”
“Remember when people loved our high density flash memory?”
“We’ve got MagicGate, that’s gotta count for something! Sony said it would!”
“Aw, guys, maybe we should just head to Obsolete Island.”

Penny’s
eyes grew very wide. She thought she was alone in the world, but now
she knew there others. And a place she could be happy! Penny lept to
her feet just like she knew her hero, Abraham Lincoln, would have done.

“Oh, Sandisk SDMSV-64 64MB Memory Stick Pro 4 pack!” she yelled. “Let me take you from here! For finally, finally I have something I can afford!”

The Sandisk SDMSV-64 64MB Memory Stick Pro 4 pack looked at her sadly. “And shipping, Penny? How will you pay for that?”

Penny sat slowly on the cold stone street as the Sandisk SDMSV-64
64MB Memory Stick Pro 4 pack walked away. She didn’t move as they
vanished into the distance. She didn’t move as the Coin Collector
slowly lowered his net. She just sat and wondered what Obsolete Island
was like, and wished that she’d been able to pay the price to join the
Sandisk SDMSV-64 64MB Memory Stick Pro 4 pack.

Warranty: 90 days Woot

Features:

• Stores up to 64 MB of Memory
• High density flash memory
• High capacity
• High speed transfer
• Advanced security function with MagicGate technology

In the box:

• 4×64MB Memory Stick Pro

You might look at the Mustek GSMart Mini Digital Camera and think,
“That tiny camera must take pretty lousy pictures.” And you’d be right.
Its 850,000-pixel resolution puts it a fair distance short of a
megapixel. As far as it’s concerned, “zoom” is a PBS
show from the ‘70s. One wonders why they even bothered giving it video
capability, since it can only hold 10 seconds of grainy low-res
footage. And it’s OK to giggle at its pathetic 8MB memory, since the
Mustek GSMart doesn’t have feelings.

The world loves
stories about big things hidden in tiny packages, about scrappy little
underdogs who accomplish great things. Well, the world will have to
look somewhere else. The Mustek GSMart Mini Digital Camera’s abilities
are just as puny as it is.

Warranty: 90 Day Mustek

Features:

• 850 K pixel multi-mode digital cameraMacro/Normal switch enables close-up shooting
• Stores upp to 200 pictures with 8MB memory
• Smaller than credit card in length and height
• Auto-rechargeable battery via USB power

Specifications:

• Product Type: Digital Camera, Digital Camcorder and PC Camera
• Resolution: 1024 X 768 (by software enhancement); 640 X 480; 320 X 240
• Image Sensor: CMOS sensor
• Memory: 8MB SDRAM
• Video Clip: 320 X 240; 10 second clip
• Lens: F/2.8 (Macro/normal switch)
• Interface: USB
• Video Frame Rate: 15 fps (640 X 480); 30 fps (320 X 240)
• Self Timer: 10 second delay
• Shutter Speed: 1/15 ~ 1/4000 second
• Battery: Lithium Ion polymer battery, charger inside
• Dimensions: 2 5/8” X 2” X 1/2”
• Weight: 0.08 lbs

System Requirements

• Pentium 66 MHz processor or higher
• Windows 98/ME/2000/XP
• Super VGA card and color monitor
• CD-ROM drive
• 64MB recommended
• USB port
• 200 MB available HD space

In the box:

• Camera
• USB Cable
• Camera Cradle

Sure, the name sounds like a six year old’s comic book, but you can
still get a lot out of the Ideazon Reaper. Unlike the trademark tornado
that is the Razor™ mouse, the Ideazon Reaper only has one teeny little
special name, the Agilent™ high performance sensor, with 1600dpi at
6469 frames per second. But think of what that saved them on lawyers!
And they pass the savings on to you! There are 6 programmable buttons
and a 7th, just for ultra-fast DPI
switching. There are non-stick Teflon feet. Tired of sticky feet? Now
you’ve got the answer. It’s also illuminated red, like a wizard made
it. A wizard that knew about USB 2.0. Their
copy says it will help you “command respect”. We think a glowing mouse
isn’t really the same as being Special Forces, but it’ll certainly help
you with our Four-O-Clock-Flash. And that’s what matters in the long
run, right?

Warranty: 1 Year Ideazon

Features:

• Agilent™ high performance sensor with 1600dpi at 6469 frames per second
• Driverless sensitivity switching lets you instantly access 3 DPI levels (400 – 800 -1600)
• 6 programmable buttons plus a 7th button for ultra-fast DPI switching.
• Non-stick Teflon mouse feet and rubberized non-slip left and right mouse buttons.
• USB 2.0, 16-bit data path, 15g acceleration with 40ips works through the gold plated connector.

In the box:

• Reaper Optical Gaming Mouse
• Software CD

Are you ready for a piece of technology that will not change your
life? Are you prepared for a wireless card that will not change the way
you think about wireless networking forever? Wireless networking
doesn’t take a bold new leap forward with the Belkin Wireless Pre-N
Desktop Network Card. Once you’ve used it, everything will ever be the
same, ever again.

Its True MIMO
smart antenna and chipset design will not revolutionize your home
wireless network. Use it with a Belkin Wireless Pre-N router to such
just how little difference its marginally faster wireless speeds can
make. Don’t forget everything you know about wireless networking.
Larger coverage area, higher throughput, lower interference, and not
much else: that’s the Belkin Wireless Pre-N difference. It’s not more
than just a wireless card – it’s not a way of life.

Warranty: Lifetime Belkin

Features:

• 800 percent greater coverage than standard 802.11g with improved reliability and fewer drops
• 600 percent greater speed than standard 802.11g
• Using this Pre-N card with an older 802.11g or 802.11b networking product increases your wireless coverage up to 20 percent
• Will not drop to the lowest networking speed in a mixed-mode environment if a standard 802.11g or 802.11b device is introduced
• WiFi Protected Access (WPA) support protecting your wireless network with enhanced encryption, 64-bit WEB 128-bit encryption

System Requirements:

• 32-bit PCI for Desktop PC
• CardBus Slot for Laptop
• Windows 2000, XP

In the box:

• PCI Adapter
• Wireless Pre-N Notebook Network Card
• Quick Installation Guide
• Installation Software CD
• User Manual

Has this ever happened to you? You’re on your honeymoon,
just trying to start your life as a normal couple, when suddenly you
have no idea where you are or why it’s raining. The NavMan N40i NavPix GPS is ready for just this problem.

The NavMan N40i NavPix GPS
knows the roads like it was the trusted guide in an old R.K.O. movie.
The included United States Maps will make it easy for you to plot the
best path away from the science department of your beloved American
university. Once you’re underway, the built-in “Fuel” and “Park”
buttons let you know where to get gas or a safe place to leave the car.
You won’t have to go up to that old castle. But if you do, you’ll know
that the NavMan N40i NavPix GPS is slim,
reliable and accurate. This may not help you at the door, but it will
mean one less worry when you see a room full of people doing pelvic
thrusts.

The NavMan N40i NavPix GPS
lets you look up a location by complete address, which will provide the
best route away from that mad scientist in fishnets who is grinning at
you. The Journey View lets you see the whole picture, from what came
before to where you’re trying to be. There’s a finger-friendly
interface (the mad scientist will love that) and a large 3.5”
toucha-toucha-toucha-touchscreen. Want to stay for meat loaf? If you
do, the Advanced Motorway Navigation will help you plan a new route and
make up for lost time.

However, the most interesting feature of the NavMan N40i NavPix GPS
is the integrated digital camera that saves what they call NavPix. You
can make these NavPix of any place you like, creating the perfect
rose-tinted memory, then calling up the route by image to find your way
back any time you want. This could come in handy when the local
riff-raff decides to send you away before you’re ready to leave.

The NavMan N40i NavPix GPS will help you be where you dream. Just promise us you won’t go to any game shows in Denton.

Warranty: One year

Features:

• Large 3.5” touchscreen
• NavPix compatibility so you can download and then use NavPix to navigate
• Integrated 1.3 Mega Pixel NavPix camera
• Nearest Fuel and Park buttons to alert you to the nearest gas station or car park
• Reliable, accurate GPS navigation
• Advanced Motorway Navigation
• Journey View function
• Enhanced battery life, up to 5 hours depending on use
• Greatly improved finger friendly interface
• Pre-installed safety camera data
• POI import capability, so you can add your own points of interest, such as safety cameras
• Drive-Away™ so it’s ready to use out of the box
• Automatic re-routing with Back-on-Track™
• Memory: 2GB flash built in on US version, 2GB SD card included with Canadian version. Hardware is otherwise identical. Both versions come with US, Canada, Puerto Rico and Guam maps on CD. You’ll receive one of these two versions.

Hardware

• Weight: 2.4 Lbs.
• Size: 9 1/2”81mm (H) x 6 1/4” (W) x 5 1/2”(D)
• Camera: Yes
• SD card slot
• Processor: Samsung 244-400MHz
• Battery: Rechargeable integrated Li ION – up to 5hrs life
• High-quality loudspeaker: Yes
• GPS Receiver: SiRFstarIII™ Generation 2
• GPS update rate: Typically every second once fix established
• GPS accuracy: Fix to 5 metres 95% of the time
• Screen: Anti-glare high resolution 3.5” (89mm) color touch-screen
• In-Car Suction Mount: Yes
• Power: 12V in-car power connector
• PC connection: USB 1.1

Software features

• NavPix™ navigation to pictures
• Journey View
• Drive-Away™
• Back-on-Track™
• POI (points of interest – transport-related POIs)
• Nearest POI/POI import
• Voice guided instructions
• Favorite destinations stored
• Multiple routing options, eg, shortest/fastest, nearest POI

Navigation views

• Turn-by-Turn™
• Next maneuver
• 3D Moving map (adjust 3D zoom mode downwards to achieve 2D moving map mode)
• 2D Mini map

Mapping

• Tele Atlas 2006
• SmartST™ 2006 SE navigation software
• US maps

What’s in the Box

• Navman N40i GPS
• Vehicle mounting bracket
• Vehicle power adapter
• AC power adapter
• USB cable
• Carrying case
• Software CDs
• 3 CDs with maps of all 50 states, Canada, Puerto Rico and Guam
• Users manual, installation guide and FAQ

Elvis was a hero to most
Elvis was a hero to most
Elvis was a hero to most including the guys at WowWee
Plug in a cord to the back of his brain
And he’ll sing
Do they make John Wayne?
His black leather jacket
Is nice and attractive
His ‘68 Special look is what he vamps
That was the one that appeared on those stamps
Four double A size will make Presley-head run
Make any sound you like come from that son of a gun
Imagine the songs you could make Elvis play
Posin’ his head in any old way
When mom sees a 7.5 inch King she’ll freak out
That’s what this WowWee Mini-Elvis Speaker’s about
Just think how everyone will call your party killer
When Elvis sings Thriller
Warranty: 90 days

Features:

• Signature black leather jacket and
  styled after the “‘68 Comeback Special,”
• Elvis features a realistic,
  poseable head and a built-in speaker.
• Simply plug in an external sound
  source (not included) and enjoy your music with the “King of Rock and
  Roll.”
• True Elvis fans will appreciate this meticulously sculpted
  look-alike.
• Requires 4 “AA” batteries, not included.
• Measures 7.5″L x
  4.5″D x 7.5″H.

Warranty: 90 days

Features:

Outstanding audio
Luna is more than just the most
advanced iPod alarm clock available, it is also an outstanding audio
system. It offers the same kind of performance you’d expect from a
stand-alone iPod speaker system. With two precision speakers and a
two-channel amplifier, Luna delivers stunning clarity and powerful
sound. Plus, the finely-tuned enclosure creates deep bass, clear highs
and realistic vocals. Its enough to fill any room in your home with
high-quality sound, and that’s enough to make you want to listen all
day long.

Intelligent design
Luna’s form is just as
stunning as its functions. The sleek design not only complements your
iPod and dŽcor, but also contributes to user-friendly lifestyle
operation. The control knobs are easily accessible and eliminate the
myriad buttons and switches found on most alarm clocks. The integrated
universal dock well holds your iPod using Apple’s dock well inserts, or
the custom inserts that ship with select XtremeMac cases. Luna also
charges your iPod whenever it’s docked, so it’s ready to go whenever
you are.

Sweet Dreams
Luna lets you create
customized sleeping and waking environments by giving you control over
every aspect of the alarm clock experience. For example, you can drift
off to sleep while listening to your iPod or the AM/FM radio, and set
the display brightness and volume level to your liking. The sleep timer
is adjustable from 1 to 90 minutes and can be readjusted at any time
during sleep mode with a simple turn of a knob or with the remote. That
means you can easily enjoy a few more minutes of audio or shut it off
sooner. If you select Luna’s unique decreasing volume feature, Luna
will gradually lower the volume to zero over the specified sleep time
to let you fall asleep smoothly. How sweet is that?

Smart alarms
With Luna you can wake to your iPod, the AM/FM radio, or one of three
buzzers–at a volume level you choose. You can even set your iPod to a
particular song or playlist before docking for a truly customized wake
up call. If you select iPod as your alarm source, but forget to dock
your iPod, Luna is even smart enough to wake you with the buzzer by
default.

Each of the two alarms can be set to independent
volume levels, regardless of the last listening volume. So whether you
want your alarm loud and rocking or soft and serene, you can set it
just the way you like. If you select the volume ramping feature, Luna
will gradually increase the volume of the iPod, radio or buzzer over a
specified time period–from 0 to 60 seconds–to let you wake up gently.

After selecting your alarm options, you can preview them with
the push of a button to make sure the alarm source, volume and display
brightness are right where you want them. You’ll sleep easy with the
reassurance that your alarm will wake you just as planned.

When the alarm goes off, one touch can reset the alarm for the next
day, turn it off completely, or let you snooze for a time period you
select –from 1 to 60 minutes. While snoozing, you can even adjust the
timer up or down with the turn of a knob or with the remote.

Luna also has a battery backup in case of power failure, with two AA
batteries included. But just in case, even the backup has a backup. A
built-in feature will retain clock and alarm settings for up to five
minutes without power, even if the batteries are dead or not properly
installed. Now that’s smart.

Intuitive menus
Luna
is driven by a patented menu system that allows for an array of
customizable features never before found on an alarm clock. The menus
look and function much like your iPod–and are just as easy to
navigate. Simply scroll and click through various options using the
main control knob or use the other three knobs for shortcuts to
specific functions. Menus are organized with the most commonly used
features at the top for quick access. Remote control

Luna’s
remote control lets you access basic and advanced functions from across
the room. Plus, it shows each command in large lettering on Luna’s
front display whenever a button is pushed, so you’ll always know the
remote message was received. Basic controls include volume, bass,
treble, radio tuning and preset selection. You can also control iPod
functions like play, pause, shuffle, next/previous track, next/previous
playlist and fast forward/fast rewind. Advanced remote functions
include snooze, sleep, alarm on, off and reset. screens

Customizable display
Ever been kept awake by a clock that’s too bright? Luna solves this
problem by letting you adjust the display brightness from completely
off to full intensity. You can even set the brightness for sleep mode
and alarms, so you can sleep easy with the display dimmed or off and
wake up to a brighter setting automatically. If the display is
completely off, touching any of Luna’s controls will automatically
brighten it to a minimum level temporarily so you can see to adjust
volume, sleep time, and more.

What’s in the Box
Luna speaker dock, AC adapter, remote control, AM loop antenna, FM antenna, printed operating instructions

C’mere, Maximo iM-290 iMetal Stereo Earbuds. C’mere. Yeah, yeah, good
headphones. Good headphones. Hey, follow me, boy. We’ve sure been
through a lot, haven’t we? I remember the day you came out of the box.
You were so cute with your lightweight aluminum body and your
high-fidelity 15mm neodymium drivers. Yeah, you sure were. Sit down
there, boy. No, sit down. Look at you, all tangled up in your extension
cable. You’re a mess, boy. What will I do without you? No, just stay
there. boy. Just stay there. I didn’t mean for you to get bit by that
raccoon, you know. I just wanted to show off your 2.5mm and Air Travel
adapters to Johnny. If I knew what was gonna happen, I never would’a…
well, I guess I can’t change the past. You worked with my MP3
player, my iPod, my smartphone… there ain’t never gonna be another like
you, Maximo iM-290 iMetal Stereo Earbuds! Ain’t never in a million
years! Just… just lay your head down there, Maximo iM-290 iMetal Stereo
Earbuds. It won’t hurt. It won’t hurt a bit.

Warranty: Lifetime Maximo

Features:

• For iPod, MP3, Smartphone, PDA and Air Travel
• Lightweight Alloy Metal Headphones
• Superior Audio Fidelity and Deep, Powerful Bass
• Extension Cable for Extra Length
• 2.5mm and Air Travel Adapters
• Drivers: 12mm Neodymium
• Frequency Response: 1.8Hz-22KHz
• Sensitivity (1KHz, 0.1V): >100dB
• Maximum SPL Output: >120dB
• Cable Length: 4 Feet
• Connector: 3.5mm Stereo Plug

In the box:

• iM-290 Stereo Headphones
• 2-ft. Extension Cable
• 2.5mm Stereo Plug Adapter
• Airline Dual-Plug Adapter
• Carrying Pouch
• User Guide

You found us. We thought you would. A person of refinement and taste like you has a gift for tracking down the best. Let the rubes and the slobs have their brown Zunes. You require something more dignified. It’s our pleasure to present the Microsoft 30GB Zune Media Player in semi-formal black, as you desire. People of quality wouldn’t be caught dead with anything but a black Zune. Make no mistake: they cost more than that gauche little brown player all the nouveaus are toting around. But, darlings, isn’t good taste worth any price?

Warranty: One year

Features:

• 30GB hard drive stores up to 7,500 songs, 25,000 pictures or 100 hours of video (128 Kbps)
• 3�� bright color LCD display can be customized with your photos for a personalized appearance
• Resolution 320×240, vertical or horizontal orientation
• Ultracompact player measures just 0.6” thin and weighs 5 oz.
• Supports MP3, WMA and ACC audio formats, displays JPEG image formats plus displays WMV, MPEG-4 and H.264 video formats
• Built-in FM tuner with RBDS broadcast signal support to display artist and track title
• Equalizer for a customized listening experience
• USB 2.0 interface for fast transfer speeds
• Zune-to-Zune sharing allows you to use a built-in 802.11b/g wireless interface to share tracks, homemade recordings, playlists and pictures with other Zune users; received tracks expire after you have listened 3 times or 3 days
• Flag shared tracks you like for easy downloading later with your Zune Pass (subscription required) in the Zune Marketplace
• Up to 14 hours battery life with the built-in lithium-ion battery
• Compatible with Windows only - big surprise
• Dimensions: 4.4×2.4×0.6 (HxWxD)
• Weight: 5.6 ounces

For most of us, finding out about the weather isn’t that hard. You
keep an emergency poncho in your glove box, you mind your telltale
lumbago, and you take a gander skyward before you set out on any long
walks.

But when the zombie apocalypse comes, that glove box
might as well be a thousand miles away. Lumbago? Why, your body will
ache from fatigue and stress to the point that you won’t even be able
to identify individual pains anymore. As for looking out the
window—well, they’ll be all boarded up, and the glass’ll be spattered
with gore anyway. Aren’t you going to be glad you’ve got a LaCrosse
Technology Weather Station on your wall to tell you a little bit about
the conditions outside?

No one wants to think about a rising
tide of un-dead shuffling in the streets, especially not during the
holidays. But this is one of those situations where a little
forethought can provide a lot of peace of mind later. And when the
neighborhood is overrun with reanimated corpses, there are going to be
two kinds of people: those with peace of mind and those with pieces of
braaaains.

Are you going to stick that head out-of-doors for
just a quick peek? Friend, you’ll get et. Rely instead on your
electronic Weather Station. Its atomic time and date will tell you just
how long it’s been since your zombie nightmare began, and the moon
phase feature may give you some indication of how much longer you’ll
have to hold out.

Plus, now, during these calm, pre-zombie
days, while we enjoy a peace and serenity that belie the horror that is
sure to unfold, the Weather Station will give you the raw numbers you
need to make the case that yes, in fact, the thermostat does need to be
turned up, no matter what your cheapskate spouse or roommate says.

Warranty: One Year 

Features:

• Large Wood Housing
• Forecast w/ Tendency
• IN/OUT Temp
• IN/OUT Humidity
• Moon Phase
• Weather forecasting function with 3 weather icons and weather tendency indicator
• Wireless outdoor temperature (°F or °C)
• Wireless outdoor humidity (%RH)
• Monitors indoor temperature (°F or °C)
• Monitors indoor humidity (%RH)
• Barometric tendency arrow
• Moon phase
• Atomic time and date with manual setting
• Automatically updates for Daylight Saving Time (on/off option)
• 12/24 hour time display
• Time zone setting
• Wall hanging
• Can receive up to 3 sensors

Specifications:

• Indoor temperature range: 32°F to 140°F
• Wireless outdoor temperature range: Minus 21.8°F to Plus 156.2°F
• Temperature resolution: 0.2°F
• Temperature accuracy: +/- 1.5°
• Humidity range: 20% to 95% 
• Humidity accuracy:+/-3% (35-85%)
• Transmission frequency: 433.92 MHz
• Transmission range: Up to 80 Feet

Power Requirements:

• Receiver: 2 “AA” Alkaline batteries (Not Included)
• Wireless sensor: 2 “AA” Alkaline batteries (Not Included)

In the box:

• WS7391UG Weather Station
• TX4U remote sensor
• Instruction Manual and warranty card

This Mini Remote Control Helicopter goes really high. Especially
inside. Like in a warehouse. Our warehouse. For hours. When people are
supposed to be working. We’re not running a flight school, you know.
And why didn’t you invite us to come down and test them with you? Bunch
of jerks is what you are. We gave you half our sandwich that one time
at lunch! You owed us!

Anyway, we promise not to send you
one of the Mini Remote Control Helicopters they crashed. But we’ve got
proof that they’re a lot of fun to fly. Plus you get an extra tail
propeller, just in case. The 3.7 volt Li-Poly battery is included in
the helicopter. The 6 AA batteries for the remote are not. Now, if
you’ll excuse us, the warehouse has just invited us to come and play
Airwolf vs Blue Thunder. So thoughtful. We love those guys.

Warranty: 90 days

Specifications:

• Super Wide Infrared Control
• Miniature Size and Light Weight
• Unique Material Withstands Crashes
• Auto Stable
• Precision Speed
• Tri-Band Technology
• 3.7 V Li-Poly Battery installed in Helicopter
• Recommended for Ages 8 and Up
• Remote Control Requires 6 “AA” Batteries (Not Included)
• Included: Helicopter with 3.7 V battery, Remote Control, One Extra TailProp, Instruction Manual

Dear Woot Quality Control,

I don’t like the Philips MMS430G/17 2.1 Speaker System. First of all, it works with any gaming system or music player that takes a 3.5mm mini jack or RCA
plugs. Why can’t you be more specialized? Something like this is just
asking for the riff raff to come running in and make it harder for me
to get deals.

Secondly, the midrange on the Philips MMS430G/17
2.1 Speaker System is so much less than I am used to having. Even
though it has Digital Dynamic Bass Boost and a 30 Watt Wooden
Subwoofer, I do not feel these speakers meet my needs. I expect very
high quality for a low low price, Woot. Next you will be telling me
that my Bose speakers aren’t the best the world has to offer! I’m
watching you very closely on this issue, so do not let me down. I
disagreed with Richard Nixon once, and look how he turned out! But I
trust it will not come to that.

Third, I would like to
compliment you on the exchangeable covers. The blue looks lovely next
to my parrot, Gertrude Stein, while the green matches my duvet exactly.
I use the Satellite speakers to listen to NPR while I cross stitch from Thomas Kinkade patterns. I find his use of light brings a glow to one’s home, don’t you agree?

Woot,
I wish you the best in your future endeavors, and hope to never again
need to register a complaint. Oh, and please fire Gatzby for deleting
my first post. A first post should be a rare honor, not a thing to be
punished!

Sincerely,
Mrs. Carol Lavender
Age 83

Warranty: 90 Day Philips

Features:

• Digital Dynamic Bass Boost
• Frequency Response 20Hz to 20kHz
• 30 Watts RMS Wooden Subwoofer
• 2 Satellite Speakers
• Exchangeable Covers, Blue or Green
• 100 Watts System Power

Specifications:

• 1×3.5mm Audio Connection
• 50 Watts Output Power RMS (measured at 10% THD and 1kHz)
• 2×10 Watts Satellites
• 30 Watt Subwoofer

Connects to:

• Computer with stereo sound
• Multichannel sound card (only in stereo)
• Television
• Portable MP3 players
• CD Players
• Video game systems (only in stereo)

In the box:

• MMS430 Multimedia Stereo Speakers
• Blue and Green Speaker Covers
• Quick Installation Guide
• RCA to 3.5mm Audio Cable (For television set, and game systems)
• 3.5mm Audio Cable

Are you the kind of person who takes health tips from the internet?
Not that bright, are you? Well, that’s good for us, because it means we
might get rid of some of these 3M Nexcare Health Preparedness Kits.

Ideal
for work or school or that van always parked near the local community
college, the 3M Nexcare Health Preparedness Kit is a handy plastic
container full of earloop masks, latex, powder-free vinyl gloves, hand
sanitizing resealable alcohol wipes, single use thermometers and a 2.4
fluid ounce container of hand sanitizing gel.

You’ll have
99.99% less germs and bacteria, except for those that have evolved to
be resistant to all drugs. But that’s for our kids to worry about,
right? Just like Social Security or the water shortages. Who cares
about tomorrow? It may never even happen!

The 3M Nexcare
Health Preparedness Kit will make sure your little part of the world is
clean and healthy. Unless you really get sick, then you have to go to a
doctor. Gee, that cough sounds kinda bad. It might be lupus. You think
it’s lupus?

Features:

• Contains products that can help prevent the spread of germs
• Good to have in school, or at work
• Some
  viruses and bacteria can live from 20 minuets up to 2 hours or more on
  surfaces like cafeteria tables, doorknobs, and desks.
• Hand sanitizing gel decreases the amount of bacteria on your skin and kills 99.99% of germs
• Vinyl gloves are latex, and powder free
• Single use thermometer measures temperatures from 96.0ºF to 104.8ºF (oral use)
• Earloop
  mask reduces the spread of your cough and sneeze droplets, but it will
  not prevent you from contracting a contagious disease.

In the box:

• Plastic Container Jar
• 6 Earloop Masks
• 10 Vinyl Gloves
• 20 Hand Sanitizing Resealable Alcohol Wipes
• 2 4 Fluid Ounce Hand Sanitizing Gel
• 4 Single Use Thermometers

I am the Philips US2-PA1036 Wireless Keyboard and soon I will rule the world! My sixteen multimedia keys are designed for one purpose: CONTROL!
I control the volume! I control the web browser! I control your music!
I control your video! I control a few other things as soon as you
program them in for me. So I outsource a little, so what! I am still in
control! Do not pay attention to the insignificant fact that I do not
come with a USB adapter. So what? I am wireless with my PS/2 interface! Behold my mighty power!

Warranty: 90 Day Philips

Features:

• Wireless keyboard
• Control the volume on your keyboard
• Control your web browser on your keyboard
• Control your music, and video from your keyboard
• 16 multimedia keys
• PS/2 interface, (USB adapter not included)

In the box:

• Keyboard
• PS/2 Transceiver (USB adapter not included)
• Quick Start Guide